why is suffering crucial to life and do we come into life knowing how long we'll suffer? if so why?

I reject the notion of many (well, ALL that I know of) religions that suffering is somehow crucial to life. It may be inevitable, but that is not the same. Mother Theresa actually believed that suffering built character, and brought a person closer to her god. Buddhist teaching is that life IS suffering.

But the simple truth is that suffering is bad, unnecessary suffering is evil, and we should all strive to minimize the unnecessary part. I can see how a little suffering might make one better appreciate suffering in others, but no one should be made to suffer.

Do we come into life knowing how long we'll suffer? I don't see how. If we did, we obviously don't retain that knowledge, so what would be the purpose in having it?

I think it is crucial to grow and expand. When things are going along fine and dandy, I have no motivation to grow, to work, to change, alas, suffering motivates me. My personal belief is that we may set a goal for the growth before we come into life, but I do not believe that we know what it will take to achieve it, suffering or not, or how long, or even if we will achieve the goal. Even if we choose to come into a life that would appear to be of EXTREME suffering, how we perceive it and deal with it will influence the length or amount of suffering. Some people born with a silver spoon in their mouth suffer horribly while another born to abject poverty may approach life differently and therefore less suffering.

it defines us...it molds us ..it changes us...no one asks for suffering ..yet we all experience it in different degrees...yet if there was non .how would we learn or change or grow ..life would be fluff....the length of suffering is different for each person...sometimes we can get past it quickly other times it is a slow process...I believe that something good always comes out it...it just may take some time to see it or realize it...

We suffer because of the nature of life. It is the source of our everlasting sadness.