If you could write your own ten commandments, what would they be?

Drink beer

Go fishing

Go sailing

Eat Beef

Drink Beer

Repeat

1. Don't expect people to give back to you 10% of what you aren't willing to give at all.

2. Do your job

3. If someone says I am doing my best believe it. If you have a reason to question it, then you made a mistake hiring that person.

4. Bad doctors must die.

5. Good doctors get a cookie.

6. Stop rewarding students who are so competitive and have no non-robot feelings.

7. Corporate America is a farce.

8. Promote people real people from creating businesses rather than the current system that we have. I want America back.

9. Treat people the way you would want to be treated.

10. Stop arguing about every little detail just because you can. Some people don't need it.

If I were a christian I'd pay attention to the real commandments in Proverbs Ch III. Being I am not;

1. Take back your own thinking

2. Be free

3. Live

4. Love

5. Laugh

6. Laugh at yourself

7. Have fun

8. Have more fun

9. Play

10. Know what you really are

1) Treat others as you would yourself want to be treated

2) Show respect to every individual

3) Don't sweat the small stuff

4) Smile

5) Yield to pedestrians

6) Hang the toilet paper over the top

7) Don't put an empty milk carton back in the refrigerator

8) Leaving a tablespoon of milk in the carton doesn't mean it's not empty

9) What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

10) You only really need 3 or 4 commandments

You only need 8

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"

1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou *** when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******.

6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):

1. Ending poverty

2. Curing diseases

3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable

I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

RAmen

1. Use your brain as much as possible

2. No one says things that don't make sense

3. Don't take unsolicited advice

4. Use common sense at all times

5. Take good care of your children

6. Take a bath daily

7. Save as much money as possible

8. Be nice to animals

9. Help those in need whenever possible

10. Enjoy life

1) Minimalize harm

2) Act purposefully

3) Forgive others

4) Seek knowledge

5) Be honest

6) Observe patturns

7) Love more

8) Eschew obfuscation

9) When you get off of an escalator, keep walking

10) Ask questions

1- thou shalt not be ugly,

2- thou shalt not be fat,

3- thou shalt not be a scientologist,

4- thou shalt not be a metrosexual,

5- thou shalt not be a terrorist,

6- thou shalt not open a mcdojo,

7- thou shalt not be dillman or anyone else who purports to have "chi" magic,

8- thou shalt not play violin on the fourth of july during a hailstorm during a stampede of elephants, and one baby seal,

9- thou shalt not hold a protest which creates traffic or any inconveience to anybody,

10- thou shalt obey the laws of the land and use common sense in objecting to them.

How bout we just concentrate them down to one:

1) Be good.

1) No Killing (Others or Ourself)

2) No Stealing

3) No sexual misconduct

4) No gossip

5) No bad mouth

6) No vuglar/harsh words

7) No alcohol

8) No drugs

9) No smoking

10) No porn