My Husband Orders Adult Pay Per View movies....?

have you talked to him about it, most (not all) guys like porno (the fantasy) if you would be ok with it if you watching it with him then great, let him know, if your not ok with it at all then you have a problem. if its the money thing then talk about that.

this isnt the best answer but he could be out on the town trying to pick up girls (hookers). be glad he is at home but the main things talk to him (dont scold) about the whole thing. is it worth a marriage over it

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He lied about it or did he just not tell you? Masturbation is a personal topic and a lot of guys are not comfortable announcing to their wives, "hey honey I just jerked it!" I mean, come on! Even if you asked him directly why the bill was higher and he lied, he only did it because he was dreadfully embarassed. Yes, people can turn into adolescents when it comes to topics like masturbation or porn. If you have a negative attitude about porn, you've only made it easier for him to lie by creating a hostile enviroment.

Not telling someone something is not the same as lying especially when it's something that is not really much of your business like masturbation. Yes, you're married to the guy, but it's still not your business if you're getting yours in the bed room.

So, you're leaving him over 50 dollars and a bit of embarassment? Wow! There's obviously more issues going on here than just porn or the money. Sounds like this incident is giving you an out. I suggest you figure out what the real issue is and work it out with your husband and don't make threats about leaving unless you mean it.

Money or secret porn you need to talk to him about it b4 you leave. Is he not getting what he needs from you? Might he have some harmless hidden fetish (like doggy style or oral sex) that you don't particularly care for when you're together, so he tries to satisfy it with a visual aid while masturbating? Maybe he's just a nympho but he doesn't want to go out and cheat on you. There are too many what ifs and maybes, but you'll never know until you try to do the main thing your marraige is based on...communication instead of investigation. If that doesn't work, pack your bags girl cuz there ain't no tellin what he's doin when you ain't around.

It sounds like you're upset because he didn't talk to you first. Not that he needs to ask permission, but that he didn't intimately connect with you before 'sneaking' in the porn.

I would also guess that you don't really have a problem with the porn, just the fact that he chose to 'sneak' it rather than share it.

If my interpretation is correct, then I think the best way to approach this is to communicate with him the same way you would have preferred he talk to you.

Without attacking him, let him know why you are upset. “Hon, I just found out you’ve been ordering the porn on pay-per-view. I’m hurt because I was surprised by this rather than having any kind of warning. ..”

Or

“I’m upset because I didn’t get to share any of it with you. I would have liked to watch it with you…”

Or

“I’m upset because I find this stuff degrading and don’t understand why you would pay to see this…”

Whatever the case, I’d bet that sincere and intimate communication will go a long way. I’m still in the testing stage on this myself, but so far-it works incredibly! Just remember, he either didn’t know he could trust his secret with you or didn’t know how to talk to you about it.

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RE:

My Husband Orders Adult Pay Per View movies....?

I recently discovered my husband was ordering porn, because our bill had increased by $30-$50. Well I decided to investigate all of the other mysteriously "higher" cable bills and discovered he has been doing it for who knows how long.

Well I am upset because he didnt even bother to...

Some women may find some of the content stimulating, I'm thinking that will be the minority & you are not in that class. Have you considered asking him. Approach: "I wanted to know what you feel is missing from our relationship that prompts you to watch that programing? I don't care for it and want to know if there is something we need to change." Remember the male ANIMAL! We are more easily stimulated by the visual than a woman so something as simple as a change in sensual attire could stop him in a big hurry.

This isn't just about watching porn, he was hiding it from you and spending extra money without consuilting with you. Sadly in your own home. I would put a lock on those channels and not give him the password. You shouldn't have to pay for that crap. If you don't have a rpoblem with the porn and would like to share it in your marriage together...it is much cheaper to pick out a DVD together.

Men who hide this type of thing wonder why their wives jump to conclusions about cheating...but what else would we jump to because if he is lying about that what else is he capable of lieing and hiding? If you want the trust guys you have to be honest....even if you know she is gonna get pissed.

Before you have a knee-jerk reaction, ask a few questions about how he feels about your sex life.

Leaving because of porn is a bit of an over-reaction. Men are visually stimulated and if he isn't getting enough sex, he has turned to an alternative. If you really hate pron, let him know that it's off limits, but remember to keep him satisfied or he will learn to resent you.

This is hardly worth leaving him over. In the course of your marriage you will have many challenges, and you can't just bail out every time you get mad with each other. My husband went through a phase when he was looking at internet porn. There were other things going on in our marriage and we were not being very respectful to each other at the time. When things got better between us, he quit the porn. He quit without a fight, but so many men are die hard porn watchers. I hope for your sake that your husband is not not one of them. Porn for me was so degrading. It made me feel like he was searching for something he was not getting from me, and that made me inadequate. As a wife you like to think you have everything your husband needs, and it makes you feel kind of like a failure. I think the only way to get your husband to give up his porn is to be completely open about how it makes you feel. Having angry confrontations with him about it will only push him away. Try to get your anger out in other ways and make your discussions heartfelt and calm. You want him to work with you and not against you. Getting the honesty back in your marriage is the only way to have a long term solution. Best of luck.

If you are serious about leaving him over Porn movies then your marriage was never strong to Begin with.

What if something Life changing were to happen? As in: a Death in the Family, your house burning down, illness to you or him, and /or a loss of your Child.

Leaving because he ordered Porn movies is only an excuse of your True intentions.