Older kids?

I don't see how anyone could hate a baby, but then I am not a 12 year old girl (and haven't been for many, many years).

It is very hard for children when their father has a baby with a woman other than their mother. They feel as if the father will love that baby more - after all he IS with that baby's mother and not theirs. Your husband needs to talk to her. He can do that without her knowing he has read her email (reading their email is a GOOD thing). He just needs to tell her how much he loves her and how he felt when she was a baby. He might also tell her how lucky this baby is to have three brothers and sisters already. He can then listen to any concerns of hers.

Good luck to you, your husband, your baby and your three older children.

First of all you are her parent and you should have access to her e-mail. I do not believe in 12 year olds having that much privacy. As for the baby, you need to sit the other kids down and explain that the baby is the needy one now for obvious reasons and that maybe you can make plans with the other kids for some alone time. Have dd stay with the baby and you take the kids out for a night so that they still know they are important.

She probably doesn't really hate the baby. She might be just venting to her friends. Does she talk to or hold the baby or ever play with him? Has anything major changed in her life since that baby came along, like did she have to give up her room or quit her activities or anything like that? If not, she might just be feeling a little natural jealousy and sibling rivalry. Spend some extra time w/her. Take her somewhere just the two of you and have a good time. By the way, I think its great you monitor her email. If more parents did that their kids wouldn't be the target of Internet predators!

Without speaking to her I can't give you a valid answer, but I can tell you about my own experiences. My daughter is 4 1/2 years older than my son. She went through a stage where she hated him. It turned out, that she felt the baby was getting more attention than she was. That she was traded in for a new one. Re-evaluate your relationship with her and see what is lacking. Also, her age can be causing some of it. She is prepubescent, full of new emotions, and might not know how to handle them. She needs to be treated differently now, than she has before because she is becoming a woman.

She doesn't like the baby because it wasn't HER mother who gave birth to it. Don't tell her you know what she said, but instead try to involve her with the baby. Not changing diapers or etc, but playing with the baby, just showing her how sweet the baby is. Also, try to get some 1 on 1 time with her, get to know eachother. Explain to her that while you can't replace her mom, you hope the two of you can be friends.

My kid's resented my son before he was born they are 12 and 13 he is almost a year now and they love him to death, it took time and I involved them in everything, changing feeding, we talked a lot about it before and after, my husband who of course isnt the biological dad of the first two was not always present during these conversations. What about some family counseling. We have family discussions, and one on one at times so they don't feel left out and resent their little bro. Hope that helps some

it sounds that she might be jelaous of the baby, deep inside even. the thing is, when you have been the youngest for so long, that you feel like it's your position to always be called "the home's little princess" or "our little baby" etc. for life! at such an age, when hormones and junk are begginning to start, one feels like they just want to go back to the beginning when everyone was happy & everyone was together as a real family...

but, don't take it personally! she loves you very much! even the baby too! it's just that it's all coming to her too fast & she can't control it. try to show her that she is still really special in your eyes.... good luck

Well it could be that she is not the youngest anymore. Was she getting special attention? 12 years is a big age difference and since the baby is still a new addition she may feel that the attention is no longer on her for being the youngest.

I thought I hated my baby sister when she was born. Everyone loved her, and paid her all kinds of attention. Ask all the kids how they feel about the baby, or ask her if she wants to help, Maybe she want to be more involved.

Don;t read her email for one. Second just leave her alone, she will probably grow up to love the baby and i highly doubt she will do anything to the baby