Does a 14 year old have the right to refuse visitation if a father has partial custody?

First of all, there is no way to "force" it to happen. The mother can hold onto her as long as she wants, and you cannot force her to give the child to you. The Sherrif, CPS, or whoever else you want to get involved will tell you it is a civil matter.

All you can do is go back to court. There are a couple ways to do this. You can either go the long route with a motion or OSC, and tell the court what she is doing and violating the court order, or you can use the Ex Parte process. This is controversial because some decisions can be overturned, especially if the other party does not show up. This is the express method to justice.

What you should do is notify the mother that she is in contempt, and causing alienation. This is grounds for a change in custody altogether. Also inform her that if you do not have the daughter as of your next visitation, you will appear Ex Parte to show cause for parental alienation and petition for change in custody, and legal sanctions against the mother. Tell her you will do this by contacting the court the Monday morning following the next violation. This should shake the mother into making sure lovey comes to visitation with you. If not, follow through.

In the Ex Parte process, you have to let the other person know that you are meeting with the judge. This is usually 2 days, but check the rules of your court. You appear before the judge with your motion and order. If the judge agrees, he can sign an order right there.

Even if you do all this, there is no guarantee that you will get her. Therefore, it is purely a legal move, and a defiant daughter will still not come see you.

This is all based on California law, and is not advice. I am not an attorney.

Now, as far as dealing with the daughter instead, that is the real issue here. I can't see how a discussion of clothing can get so bad that the girl is mad, unless it is pushed past the point of reason. 14 year old girls have raging hormones. They want to conform to their friends. They want to feel like they have power.

You need to substitute her desire for inappropriate clothing, rather than picking a fight. Take her places where she has to dress normal, like the lake, fishing, hiking, or other activities. Deal with her in the real world.

If she is wearing slutty clothing, don't stop her. Just point out to her every time some old pervert is looking at her. Maybe nudge her and say, "boy, that old nerd sure is enjoying looking at you" or something else to make her sick. Watch how quick she hides behind you or covers herself up. Make her realize that although she is getting attention of her friends, she is getting unwanted attention, too.

If you see some guy with a camera, tell her to smile so he can put her picture on his screensaver and watch her all he wants. You need to make her realize the consequences of her actions. Broaden her perspective. The choice not to wear those clothes has to come from inside. Maybe she will only dress normal when she is with you, but that is at least part of the battle.

To get her to come with you, he should call her and apologize for getting out of line. Tell her that he still feels the same, but will respect her wishes if she wants to dress that way. Just let her know that he will not agree it is a wise choice, but he will not make her change.

Then when she is with you, and she wants to do something, tell her you would love to, but you would be embarrassed to be seen in public with what she is wearing. Maybe you can stay in and watch reruns of the Simpsons instead. Of course, if SHE CHOOSES to change clothes, you will go wherever she wants. When picking clothing, go shopping and choose clothes you can both live with. Don't make her wear 50s cover up stuff. Let her pick something that is borderline, at least.

Don't come between a teen/preteen and her friends or hormones. Use other techniques to make her see the light. I use reverse psychology on my girls all the time, and it works wonders. I have a 17 and a 13. Good luck lol

They are suppose to be there. The mother would have to go back to court to have the children speak on whether or not they can refuse to see there father. The mother is pulling a fast on on your husband. If he has more then 1 child with this women why are all the children staying away if he only had an argument with one of them? tell your husband to say fine they don't have to come over anymore, and don't see them, or tell your husband to petition the courts to send them to counseling, but if he is suppose to see his children then that is what is suppose to happen. Take the control out of the mothers hands, and put it in the courts hands. The mother knows how her daughter is dressing, and knows that it will cause problems with your husband which then makes her the good guy. Let the courts know what's going on, and let them decide what is to happen since the mother violated the child visitation order.

In most states the child has the right to refuse visitation at age 12, but it needs to be brought before a judge. The judge will take the child into chambers and talk one on one with the child and determine if the the refusal is valid. As you described it, no legal action has been taken, therefore the father still has the right to force visitation, but he still needs a moderator, like Department of health and social services.

The mother is incorrect, the child does not have the right to choose. What is in the visitation portion of the divorce papers is law and the father can take the mother to court for contempt if she refuses to send the child.

Parents and children argue - it is going to happen, the mother has no right to withold the child just because there is a disagreement.

At his schedulted visitation time, he needs to show up at her home, expecting the daughter to be ready. He should have a witness along so that he or she can testify in court as to what they heard/saw if there is a refusal.

He also needs to write a letter and send it certified to the mother prior to the next visitation that he will seek contempt charges in court if the child is not sent for visitation. He needs to send a copy of the divorce decree with the visitation portion highlighted.

As far as his daughter is concerned - there are far worse things to argue about than the clothes she is wearing, and he needs to pick his battles carefully. Tell him to try to meet the daughter in the middle when it comes to her clothing.

Sorry to hear you both are going through this. From my own experience with my Husbands daughters I can only tell you that it is not easy. He was suppose to have them every other week and every time we had a disagreement they would run to Mom's house and there was nothing we could really do. It was total frustration and now that they are eighteen it hasnt gotten any easier. Hang in there....legally I am sure you could go to the Courts and the Judge would order that she visit but what kind of "visit" is that going to be when you have an angry teenager and ex wife??? Trust me its no fun.....Been there for seven years to long and wish that I hadnt!

Good luck!

I have an 11 y/o son that does not want to go to his father's house anymore. He is left to stay with his step-mom and step-grandma while they work. So he doesn't see his dad anyhow. He sleeps on the floor there too! I have been dealing with this for several years now. I have taken him to court, that got me NOWHERE. They even appointed my son a guardian ad litem, that guy did nothing, never even met my son. I have involved child services after finding bruises on my son. They didnt do anything except say it was not substantiated. Of course, they call before they go to the home and the other kids that live there are sent to Grandma's house. My son wants to talk to the Judge, he her his stepsister say this because she doesn't wanna live there with his Dad cause he is so mean. I have consulted with so many agencies and attorneys it is unreal. I feel your pain. I have been told if I keep my son from his Dad he could file a contempt against me. So, before you keep your child from their parent you should consult an attorney and/or seek some type of legal advice. I wish you all the best.

If the parent decides to force visitation, he can take the mother back to court for not sending her daughter. Mother will be in contempt. They have to show just reason for not visiting, not just baby is mad at daddy today and doesn't want to go. The mother is responsible to see that the children go and the dad can force it legally.

Granted it's been a while since I was 16, but that's how old I had to be before the courts would allow me to choose when or if I wanted to go visit the cheating alcholic jerk that is my father. (I'm still bitter) The weekend before I turned 16 was the last time I saw him as a teenager, after that I didn't have to go anymore.

sounds like the mother is making all the rules for the child. She is a child she is still his child the court papers state he has visitation rights the mother has no right to allow her daughter to see her father. The father still has rights. He has the right to be her father. Over a dress come on that is no reason for her not to allow him to see her. It is a petty argument most teens fight with their parents and they usually don't like the outcome. The daughter and mother need to get over it.

He is legally allowed to take the kids. The kids don't have any say legally, and neither does the mother on this particular matter, without getting the divorce papers revised.