Any tips on getting my fiance interested in wedding plans?

Is there any one aspect of the wedding that is important to him? The tuxes? The cake? The music?

Find out if one thing is important to him, and ask him to handle that.

Who ever said that planning a wedding had to be stressful? You can plan a wedding and enjoy it and not have any problems if you do it right. You are aware that he didn't help plan his other weddings, so this shouldn't come to you as a surprise. Men generally don't get into stuff like that anyhow so it isn't a big deal. My husband was also married before so anything I did he was ok with. It is actually easier when you do it semi-alone.

Figure out where you'd both like to get married and where you would like to have your reception. If you book a year or more in advance there is a lot less stress. If you want a certain place and want it in 6mths then it will be highly stressful.

After you book those two things then call around for a photographer, DJ and caterer if it isn't included with your hall. If you can afford it, I highly recommend that you go with an all inclusive hall where they have their own bartenders, security guards, caterer and clean up crew. It is well worth the money and lack of stress trying to get everyone there.

The fun part is finding a dress for you. You will know which one it is the minute you put it on. Take your bridesmaids with you and let THEM pick out their own dress style. You choose the color and let them pick the style.

Get a invitation book from a Hallmark store and sit down with your fiancée and pick out a invitation that you both like.

Find someone to do your flowers and cake.

It is all very simple and fun if you want it to be! I loved planning our special day!!!

The week before our wedding I was stressed ONLY because I had nothing to do. I planned so well that everything was in place.

Sure, mishaps happen on your day, but the important thing is you are marrying your lover!

When a gentleman has been married previously and he did not particpate in the planning before than it is highlly unlikely that he will help in the planning for his third marriage.

You can give him a specific project like planning the honeymoon or organizing the day after brunch and maybe he'll accept the job enthusiastically. But don't be surprised if he says, "Women do a better job of planning these things than men." And he may also feel that no matter what he may try to do it will not please or satisfy you so why even try.

You have to understand that men just don't get that excited over having "a big wedding." All that research . . planning . . organizing . . decision making . . interviewing . . and shopping is WORK to them, and they just don't want to be bothered. All they want to do is say "I do" and get on with their life.

Planning and organizing a wedding should be an enjoyable experience and if you are not enjoying it then you are doing something wrong.

You either need some professional help (an event planner or wedding coordinator) to keep you focussed and on tract . . or you need to simplify your plans.

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Trade him with my fiance. The guy cares more about the wedding than I do! ;)

I think your best bet is to talk to him. If he really wants to marry you and is *serious* about making this relationship work this time (assuming his other wives didn't die on him), he should take your stressors and this wedding to heart.

No offence, but he sounds like he may be a selfish partner. Granted, most guys are not into wedding planning. But if he has been married twice, I can assume that he's older. Guys his age usually care about teamwork and respecting their future wives, if not the wedding itself.

If he seems indifferent after you talk, don't marry him. Run, don't walk away. Unless you want to be unhappy wife number 3.

What's going to happen when you need his support for childbirth? Life changing events like weddings are not spectator sports.

When my husband and I got married, he wasn't very involved with the planning either. Much like yourself, I had a mother who was extremely helpful and wanted to help in every way that she could. At times, I wished he had wanted to be more into the details of the occasion, BUT I quickly discovered that every woman has a picture of the way they want things to be on that special day. Before long, I was grateful for his lack of involvement. What that meant was I could have the wedding of my dreams. I was able to have the wedding I always imagined without any arguments or disagreements AND he agreed with me later on that he never saw a more beautiful wedding. As long as you have your mom to help you out, you can do as you wish and with alot less stress.

Well, since this is third go around, and he never got into it b4, don't expect him to change. Why have a big wedding, spending lots of $ if this is his third. Kind of awkward, no? I guess I would go off to an island and have a small gathering. Easier to plan, cheaper, and not so flashy. My husband and I were both married for the 2nd time and we made the mistake of having a medium sized wedding. We both agree we should have gone off and just spent the money on an awesome vacation.

Talk to him saying exactly what you're asking us. Tell him you don't want to be stressed out with the planning, and since he's getting married to, his participation and input is necessary. Stress to him the importance of making the wedding represent both of your personalities.

Maybe his other wives were bridezillas who didn't want his help and just told him when to show up. You have to remind him that you're not like the others.

Let him know this is a really stressful time for you, and that you feel overwhelmed, and would he mind pitching in to help out in some of the planning?

Then, delegate! This is what I got my fiance to help with:

-Helping to find the perfect venue & caterer

-Helping to pick out the appetizers & dinner menu (what guy doesnt love food?)

-I have completely relinquished all control over photography to him. It's one thing he can do without me--just find us an awesome photographer for the best price. He can call and haggle and interview, and I don't have to worry :)

-Have him research any rentals you may need (chairs & tables? a limo? linens?) and book them for your day.

-Put him in charge of the honeymoon. This is a huge element of planning, too!

Guys are not going to be interested in flowers, or picking out bridesmaids dresses, or the linen colors...and you'll probably want your say in that sort of thing anyway. Conquer most things together, but seriously consider delegating at least one thing completely to him! Trust me, it's an awesome thing to not have to deal with every detail of one huge element of your wedding.

Best of luck!

Most guys really could care less about weddings not because they do not care about you or the day itself, but the plans themselves are irrelevant to them.

One thing that would help is keeping the questions to things he might actually care about. His tux, the food and any music or song he thinks is special.

Leave the rest up to you.

tell him NO NOOKIE until he meets with the caterer AND creates a song list for the dj!!! LOL

TEE-HEE ;-)

Sadly, they're either 'interested' in the planning or they're not. My fiance is ALLLLL about planning the menu---you know, guys and food!---but when it comes to trying to decide on which flower to use or whether to put organza runners on the table?>?>?>?>?>?>?I could ask him with my HAIR lit on fire and he'd STILL probably not look away from whatever he's doing!

RELY on and be thankful for your mum...I know I am!

Congrats and best wishes.....OH---and a bit of advice....whatever you do---DON'T stress!

The only one who will notice alllll those things you agonized over will be you. Let things kinda fall into place, be willing to bend a bit, and you can plan this with your eyes closed and smile on your face!