How do you write an obituary or give a eulogy for a mean person?

It is a challenge that I have actually faced before, I have done funeral readings at several services and I go about preparing and writing the same way each time.

Most mean people have a nice side and if you talk to friends of the person, they will be able to give you some nice stories and some insight into the real person.

If most people know the person as a meany, you could try to use it as a bit of humor, toung in cheek, but this certainly should not be the focus of the eulogy. Keep it tactful and take time to prepare and practice.

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RE:

How do you write an obituary or give a eulogy for a mean person?

There was a thing on NPR last night about the challenges of writing an obituary or giving an eulogy for someone who was mean in life. I was wondering how people would handle that challenge?

An Obituary is usually just a factual listing of a person's death, what they did for an occupation, and their family.

A eulogy would be more difficult in a case where the person was not nice. When my Father died his best friend would not give his eulogy publicly. He wrote one for us and gave us copies but he would not publicly do it. In the eulogy he said that he knew our Dad loved us and spoke fondly of us often, but also acknowledged the fact that he may not have shown those feelings to us. That eulogy was two typed pages long and means more to me than any public proclaimation. We skipped the eulogy thing anyway. If you absolutely must eulogize someone you dislike for the sake of their family I would recommend focusing on as many positives as possible, even if you have to spin a negative situation to make it seem positive. How he liked his car washed in a certain way, how dedicated he was to his work, or general things that were true but not anything too deep. There isn't much you can say about a person who was not so nice. Almost always there is a reason for it but we aren't alyaws privy to that info. Funerals are for the living so the best thing to do is think of them and not the jerk that died.

That's a good question. Strangely we had to write our own obituaries as an assignment but I don't think anyone wrote anything bad about themselves. It's really is hard to write one to be able to sum up everything and still be meaningful and thats for the good non-mean people!

I don't think I would write anything "mean" since the dead can not defend themselves for what you thought they may have done in their living days as mean.

Obits and a eulogy are for the living, for survivors, and not FOR the dead. I would dance around the mean things the person did. It happens. Did you read the obit of Ronald Reagan in the LA Times?

I can't be a hypocrite and say good things about my egg and sperm donors. I don't want to accept condolences from the well-meaning, what to do?

Dearly beloved

We are gathered here today for this thing called LIFE....