My 2 boys ages 19 & !7 what do I do?

Call Dr. Phil's show and ask for his help! Get the punks on TV and ridicule them publicly! They may not like it now but they will appreciate it later on.

Hope you do it.

As soon as I got my first job out of high school my mother made me pay rent. I paid about $200 per month and also bought all my own things, like clothes, toiletries, even food. When I moved out I actually appriciated that she did that since I learned how to budget money and to make sure that I had what I needed, when I needed it. (One idea I have heard from other people, although this isn't what my mom did, was to put the rent into a savings account and then when they do move out, give it to them. This way they will learn responsibility and also have a nice nest egg. If you decide to do this, I would not tell the children that is what you are doing. Let them think that you will be keeping the money.) Anyway, give them a time frame to either find a job and start to pay rent or to move out. If they hate you for it, they will get over it when they realize it helped them to grow up. Good luck!

I agree with Matastic. They need to start paying rent. My question is why are they not in college or high school. (or did your 17 year old graduate early) For starters, stop giving them money, hide the credit cards and check books somewhere they will never think to look, like outside. If they are not going to get off their asses and get a job, then the least they can do is; the 19 year old can go to a community college, and the 17 year old can get his GED and go to a community college or votech center. There are tons of careers out there, they have to be good at something besides being lazy. And if pushing them to do these things does not work, then pack the suitcases and put them out. You should actually make it not optional for them to get a career bound higher education. Not optional as either plan to start classes this spring get a job to pay for the classes or get out.

I would give them each a choice get a job, and help out around the house or find another place to live. The buck stops here. Be strong and let them know that while you love them it's time to move on and get on with their lives that you will no longer support them and you expect them to support themselves. The 17 year old can either go back to school for his GED or get out and get a job that when he turns 18 he is either gone or in college.

Your first job is to be their parent, not their friend. Stop worrying about if they like you or hate you. You have supported them long enough. It is no longer your responsibility. Give them two weeks notice. Tell them they either need to get jobs and start paying rent to you or they are welcome to find another place to live. Stop paying their way through life. The longer you coddle them, the more useless they will become. It sounds like they have already decided that they have promising careers as leaches. That can only continue if you allow it. You are being a bad parent only if you don't help your sons to grow up and being independent of you.

1) fr the 17 year old. You set the rules so clearly set expectations for this one. Give them to him in writing. If he does not comply remind him that you need only provide food, a bed and get him to school. If he pushes back remove everything, and I mean everything, from his room except for one pair of shoes, one complete set of clothes, a mattress, a blanket, one set of sheets and one pillow. No other clothes, no decorations, no TV, stereo, cellphone, gameboy, car keys, nothing. When he complies with your desires give him things back bit by bit and take them back as required. If the clothes get dirty he can wash them. If the grades fall, he loses all possessions and privileges until this is corrected.

2) The 19 year old. Same routine. If he says he is an adult give him 24 hours to find a new home. If he does not call the police and have him removed. let him back if he complies.

3) Or, continue to whine and do your best imitation of a door mat.

I would give them a deadline to get their crap together and if they don't, put them out. That doesn't make you a bad parent. I mean the 17 year old, you can't really put out until they are 18 but the 19 year old you can. It is a parent's job to teach their children to be productive members of society. If they don't want to do it, let them go hungry for a couple of days. They will change their mind.

U should put the 19yo out on his ear. He will later on respect u for it too. Don't give him no money either.

And for sure don't give no money to the 17yo either. And tell the 17yo that in one year he's out too.

Your job aint to be their best friend u know. U are a parent and are supposed to make the kids ready for life. Those 2 are way too old to change their ways at home, so u are gonna have to boot em out and have em learn the hard way.

At first they will "say" they hate u and all, but later on they will love u even more for makin em get their crap together and make somethin outta themselfs.

I would tell the 19 year old school, work or find someplace else. However, if he is trying to find something (since school is already in session), I would be patient while he is looking.

As for the 17 year old, give him a list of chores and tell him to earn his keep. And, if he isn't working or in school by 18, is he gone to.

I have 2 that are 15 and 18...the 18 is out of school and I had to put my foot down (after fighting with the wife about it) and say adios amigos unless you work. Out he went and he is now working and living / assisting his grandmother....everything worked out, just have to be forceful with them and not give it....almost like an intervention.

i would give them a choice and i would stick to it:

either they work or they are out. if they dont get a job in two weeks they are out. if that means you have to pack their stuff and send them walking so be it!

i would start charging them rent and NOT pay any of their bills. no cellphone, no food, no tv, no car insurance. they need to take some responsibility for themselves.

though they are still young, they need to learn to take care of themselves. no they may not like you for it, but they wont stop loving you. once they see that they arent children to be taken care of, they will come around.