single moms, please answer?

You may not want to go to court but you'll be glad you did later on, especially if the father is being difficult now.

Remember, later on there will be other girlfriends who will have an influence on this man. It's best to get it in writing now.

Most courts these days want the parents to figure out a schedule/parenting plan on their own. When the court dictates the schedule, most often, it doesn't really suit the parents or the child. I know parents that have a 50/50 set-up and their children are just fine. I also know that many people have a schedule in which one of the parents is the primary caretaker and the other has the child every other weekend, or every other weekend plus one day during the week every week. I think this is really something you both need to sit down and figure out together. Good luck.

Hi new mom,

I was a single dad with 2 kids for several years and the visitation arrangement that seemed to work best for me was three days on four days off one week and four days on three days off the next. It works out pretty good if you can do it. Each parent gets to spend time with the kids during the week as well as weekends. Works good for regular weeks, the only thing is working out a holiday schedule. Each parent must be flexible. Once school starts you should try and keep the child in the same school the entire school year. This may take some creative scheduling but as long as mom and dad can make a joint decision in the child's best interest then it should be no trouble. Congratulations and good luck.

Nathan

I was 19 when I had my son , I'm 23 now When he was born his father ran off for 2 years and last year showed up and wanted to be in his life I to thought it would be damaging to my son since now I am married and my son has known my husband as his father, but before my sons real dad ran off he and i talked and came to a agreement and didn't have to go to court we went to something called mediation and told them what we wanted worked out and they gave it to the courts to be official , now i moved out of state and we made plans to go up 2 times a year to let him see the baby if you want him to see him more then that you could look into doing what i did cause if he is being a butt and you go to court the judge will order something like i have already 2 weeks a year so let him know that

His off premises visitation will be quit limited until the courts deem it ok with a new baby. I hope he really want to be a part of baby's life for the right reasons and not just out of spite against you. Keep a log of how many appt's he goes with you for prenatle care, and so on. This will establish a history even before baby is born for the courts.

Take care of your self, and enjoy your pregnancy!!!! Low on the stress, and eat healthy! GOD BLESS!!

your best bet is to breastfeed, becuase when you breastfeed its hard for the courts to give your child to the father for any length of time, another good thing is to speak with a lawyer and go to court, you want something in writing saying that he has to give the child back to you, because if you dont that have that he he doesn't give him back then it could get really rough....I went through the same thing myself and tried to handle it without court and moved away from his father and we had a verbal agreement about parenting and he didn't stick to it and didn't come see his son, so I ended up getting in trouble and arrasted because i didn't make sure that his father had time, so make sure you do go through the courts, they will help in the long run, good luck and feel free to email me

im also 18 weeks and me and the father live far apart although not broke up but we have worked out that i will have the baby mon tues wed he will have thurs fri (and can visit sat sun) simply because MOTHER AND BABY BOND is extremely important you ex will have to understand this or you can work out he can have the baby stay over one nyt and take the baby out other days but make sure what you do for the baby is right for the baby and you not just your partner you might have to go to court simply to show him that its ur way or the court good luck and again what is right for you and baby !

congrats

go to court, the person who answered first is right, if he's difficult now there is now telling how it will be later, you need to get it ordered in court and in writing before any life altering events happen. his parents, future girlfriends ect can be a big influence on this..

good luck

I have that same problem. I just told my boyfriend that I am not leaving my baby with him alone! He has to either stay with me the baby for a few days or nothing at all. But that's only because I'm worried that he'll do something wrong and I just wont stand for that.