Request on Wedding invitation?

I think you are OK but just to be a stickler I would leave out the words "in leiu of gifts" simply because that is where people get mad since it implied the gift is being brought...if that makes sense.

Instead I would reword it on a small insert card to say something like:

In honor of Jane Smith and Mary Doe the bride and groom have chosen The American Cancer Society as their charity of choice and request that any generosities you would bestow upon them be directed to the foundation.

An absolutely beautiful idea but do not say

"in leiu of gifts" since it makes it sound like you are expecting people to give a gift to you. But you do not want people who were planning to give you a gift since it is what attendees do, to think that they have to give a donation as well. Maybe a card in the invite with something along the lines of ......

The bride and groom would appreciate it if you help us give the gift of life to the victims of cancer by making a donation for our wedding to the XXX

Although you may feel more comfortable bringing a guest, this is probably not a good idea unless specified ("and guest") on the invitation. Keep in mind, a wedding guest list is a difficult thing to manage. Not only do the bride and groom have friends, colleagues, and acquaintances to invite, but their parents each have guests they would like to invite. With the high costs of catering and the pressures of today's economy, a guest list can sometimes seem overwhelming. Many couples have a tight budget when it comes to catering and reception costs. Although you might feel as if it is ok to bring an additional person, consider what would happen if every single guest brought an extra guest. In this case, a bride and grooms guest list and budget could double in the blink of an eye. With all the extra guests, a food and seating shortage are sure to occur. As far as asking the bride and groom, this is not usually a good idea either. If couples were prepared to handle extra guests, their invites would have been worded accordingly.

As admirable as your intentions are, I hope that you don't do something that you admittedly know is inappropriate. There is a way to do this without committing the faux pas of presuming on your guests generosity.

Do your RSVPs by phone. A phone number next to or below the RSVP notation is just as acceptable as the street number below the name of the church. During the call, a great many people will ASK what kind of gift you might like, and once they ASK then you are free to tell them.

There are other advantages to this system. You're spared the expense and trouble of printing and stamping all those cunning (but more often useless) little rsvp cards. And you are in more control of your guest list, prepared with polite but firm remarks like "Oh I'm sorry I didn't make myself more clear. The invitation is for you and your husband. I'd love to meet your sister and her family some other time."

Hint: Invite everyone by name, even little children. Sloppy phrases like "and family" or "and guest" bring their own punishments, especially where free champagne is involved. Consider the difference between "Is there someone special you'd like me to invite for you?" and the "Hey, you can bring a date if you scare one up" implications of "and guest."

I appluase you for doing that.

I would suggest making up a separate small card requesting that in leiu of gifts, they make a donation to the cancer agency

(list to whom the checks should be made out to) and include their website so they can check out their information.

Would presume you may add that on your reception card. Don't know if it would be 'appropriate' on the actual invite. Or, you may just slip an extra piece in there that reads something to the effect:

"We appreciate all well wishes for our marriage, but ask that in lieu of gifts, donations to the American Cancer Society may be made in honor of the bride's mother and grandmother".

In this scenarion, I think it's fine to say something like:

In lieu of gifts, kindly make a donation to the Cancer Research Society in memory of my beloved mother, Anna Johnson, who passed 7/13/2006

I think it is a great idea! I think slipping a piece of paper inside the envelope is an appropriate idea. Also, another way to "donate" to this charity is instead of providing wedding favors, make a donation in the guest's names to the charity. It is more practical then sending them home with a favor they may not even use. Good luck on your wedding!

Although I would agree that normally, mentioning gifts on wedding invitations is inappropriate, I feel strongly that this is an exception to the rule.

So many brides and grooms come off as greedy and grasping. Congratulations on being so generous.

I think that is a WONDERFUL idea!!!!!!!

instead of printing directly on the invitation, I think adding a small piece of paper simply stating "in leiu of gifts please donate to your local cancer society" or whatever cancer agency you and your future spouse have chosen