Why is KINDNESS more associated with STUPIDITY than INTELLIGENCE?

*Authentic Kindness* is rare, and when offered with wisdom, the noblest of intention, and for the highest good, is an act of mercy and power. "Nice" or pandering to others for acceptance or praise should never be confused with Kindness. They are in no way alike.

On the other hand, to perform as a "do gooder" or with misplaced, faux altruism is not kindness at all; it is arrogance, a state of thinking that one knows better than those they "help" with their illusory "kindness". In fact, those who try to "help" others from a standpoint of knowing better are often attempting to be boastful and overcome others - ego is a strange animal.

Ego driven and typically weak people fear authentic kindness and true power, and will use all means of guile to disempower those who threaten their own illusory dominance. It does indeed require intelligence and craft to attempt to outwit the authentic and genuine. And those whose superficial acts of kindness are upended find themselves victims of their own ploys.

But *Authentic Kindness* - borne of WISDOM and LOVE - can never be destroyed. Wisdom and love supersede craftiness and guile which is far too often misidentified as intelligence; (authentic) power (rooted in wisdom) always exceeds (guile and) force.

Additional: I'll offer this quote, already submitted on another question (by me) here at YA:

"Some help others in order to receive blessings and admiration. This is simply meaningless. Some cultivate themselves in part to serve others, in part to serve their own pride. They will understand, at best, half of the truth. But those who improve themselves for the sake of the world -- to these, the whole truth of the universe will be revealed."

--Lao Tzu (c.604-531 B.C.)

Let's never be fooled by pale imitations or misidentify "nice" with "kind" and "guile" with "intelligence".

Edit: Psychic Cat makes excellent, clinical observations in response to your question whereas my answer is taken from a spiritually based philosophy as well as personal observations.

Not sure is does. Who says this? Would someone like to stand up and ""actually"" say that is what it is? I think not. It would be "foolish" to do so.

You have likely observed that in this selfish world, it is easy to 'shut the door of one's tender compassions' and perhaps ridicule something like kindness or intelligent but that doesn't changed its face.

On the other-hand stupidity and deceit are often ridiculed by the nicer or smarter (smarter is not necessarily an academic education-but of good reasoning power) especially if one doesn't change their values .And they have ever right to do so.

I see your question in an opposite way. Never heard of someone say they associate kindness with stupidity or intelligent with deceit. I think I would wonder about them if they did.

I'm going to assume you mean this all in "personality" terms, since intelligence is always facts (honesty).

Kindess isn't always more associated with stupidity htan intelligence. It's just more easily pushed that way.

Intelligence is more associated with deceit because something smart that comes from our brains does not always mean the right thing.

Kindness is so often mistaken for many a weakness. If one is kind, then he's soft-hearted. If he's soft, then he's weak, naive, even stupid. If one is not kind, then he's bad, and being bad is being strong. The reason why goons are often thought to be mighty, unyielding, and even intelligent. This is like a sickly universal assumption;.. where the kind is often mocked and pushed aside, while the bad receives adoration especially from mislead youth.

Intelligence is subject to misuse because the temptation to discreetly deceive the unwary subjects and get away with it is too much to resist. Unless one's goodness is genuine, intelligence has an impending danger of being an accomplice to committing deceit.

It's so wild, but so true. I seems so wrong that kindness can be misconstrued as stupidity, since you know that your act of kindness can be considered a weakness, and someone might take advantage of it. Intelligence can be deceit full if that is what it is meant to be, but it is also so noticeable if your paying attention, these things are not always what they seem to be, they can be exactly what they mean to be, so trying to confuse the true meaning is honestly stupid and can be deceit full if your not using your intelligence.

It depends on the level of the person making the assumption, doesn't it? Some people are intelligent but refuse to cave in and stoop to the lowest levels of behavior. They do it because they have integrity, which is something that people at a lower level who are deceitful do not seem to have much of.

Addition: Actually Doug is not correct. In an Ethologist laymen's it's called "reciprocal altruism" and it is VERY good for survival.

It takes a lot of intelligence to be dishonest. That's not to say it takes a lot of stupidity to be honest. But, when you're dishonest you have to remember all your past lies and who you lied to and keep your stories straight. In addition, you often have to come up with completley fictitious stories right on the spot. To be honest all you have to do is recall what actually is.

As far as the kindness thing goes I think in a society where your ability to gain wealth quid pro quo is highly regarded, there is a general undercurrent in our mentality that feels someone who would just give something (be it their wealth or themselves) is stupid. Why would you help some old lady cross the street when you could invest that time in accumulating more net worth? With some notable exceptions, most people are not so brazen as to come out and say it, but I think a lot of people think it.

People tend to think in terms of using others or being used, I think they've got the whole thing Bass Ackwards. Honesty and kindness go with intelligence and deceit is the ultimate stupidity. One who is deceitful is more crafty than intelligent, and that craftiness will eventually return to haunt them as lie follows lie incrementally. Kindness, on the other hand, is always blessed in the increase, and even if not returned does no damage in the giving. Honesty begins and ends with the truth, an intelligent choice.

[From the evolutionary argument, when Man first bared his teeth in a grin, he was following the social behaviour of the wolves who do this when they return to the den after a kill. Rather than aggression, it is a sign of submission, drawing the cubs and others to share as they regurgitate. For humans it was a sign of welcome. The social act of kindness was a marked development in intelligence both in wolf and man. The common communication may have been one of the things which established their hunting partnership, the oldest domestic relationship between two species. Kindness is evolutionarily intelligent. The stupid ones of the pack or tribe are left to themselves with their own hoard. These are the ones you usually find in an archaeological dig off by themselves in what appears to have been a dwindling pile of bones and mounting pile of excrement. The kind, intelligent, and honest individuals we find at the same archaeological sites, have often gone through multiple injuries, may be misshapen, but are buried with great care and love, painted in ochre and festooned with flowers and provided with grave goods and food for the afterlife. Evolution is on their side. Kindness and honesty are intelligent because they belong to the higher nature of man, virtue for the sake of virtue. This, too, you'll find in the writings of Lao Tzu.]

[There is Kindness that is nor perceived as kindness, and that may be the truest kindness of all, that which draws kindness our of others without concern for appearances and has the virtue of honesty in prizing what does not come easily. Giving without impoverishing the recipient. (Maimonides).]

Kindness transcends knowledge. It is a trait that even the most uneducated people in the world hold. One doesn't have to be educated or overly intelligent to be kind to others. Intelligence is more associated with deception because it seems the more knowledge one obtains he or she only wants more, sometimes at any cost, or without regard to being kind to "competition".

From where i Live, there are some People that do good deeds to others less fortunate then we are, if those people whom are destitute, apparently are not, than it is up to them if it will stay in their conscience because of making honest people trying to help them, feel bad, when they find out that they really are not what they seem to be. The Good Lord, is the one that is going to judge us for what we do here on Earth, and he is watching that some people are doing wrong, then they will face the consequences. In this town, where I live, Intelligence, is associated with Honesty.

The second question is perhaps the best understood, because it impacts us the most harshly. Intelligence refers to a wide range of mental faculties ( not like intellect which is more restrictive); they include but aren't limited to keen perception of others, strategic abilities, focusing on goals, & straight out--the craftiness to manipulate, pesevere, & deceive. Sometimes it's almost impossible not to admire them even when they've berayed us. The worst are sociopaths who have virtually no conscience, & when combined with intelligence, can leave a trail of destruction behind them, moving from one victim to another & place to place, dying with not one failure or justice against them served.

We tend to remember them, because they touched our lives, &/or others.

I don't think kindness is associated with stupidity. Some may look at kindness with "disdain" only because they don't know what kindness is, or care to practice it. In other words, why "waste" your time on someone else when you could be serving yourself?

My answer was on TRUE kindness, & deceit, & while ClaireDePlume changed paths a bit with "faux altruism," much of her answer makes good points. However, wisdom doesn't "always" supercede crafty intelligence; much "wiser" people than I have been deceived by the sort of people I described.