SIL Wedding and how to calm her down??

Okay...these are the things she should have dealt with a long time ago, but since its already done, oh well, right?

So, in my region (Oregon), if there is a gratuity worked into the contract already, we do not tip out the waiters and bartenders. My suggestion is to put out a tip jar where the drinks are being served and call it good. Maybe suggest to her dad to put whatever he feels comfortable in the jar..and make it clear to the bartenders that at the end of the night, whatever is in the jar is to be split between ALL the servers.

She needs to just apologize, which I am sure she has already done, and let it go. If the other people are angry at her for this overlooked thing, then they can just get over it. She is at that point, so close to the wedding now, that she needs to not let anyone else tell her anything negative. When they make a comment to her, she needs to politely tell them it is too late to change anything and if they do not like it, they do not have to come although she really wants them there, and walk away.

You wedding day is the day that you are really truly considered a "grown up" with all the responsibilities that go with it...so she can start a little earlier by using her God given backbone and sticking up for herself. Whats done is done and its time to happily move on and enjoy.

Weddings get more stressful leading up to the day, but she needs to take a step back and take a big breath, maybe get a massage or an hour away somewhere quiet and relax. This is the time for the fun to begin now, let everything else and others who can't get over it go.

First and far most if gratuity is added int the price there should be no tip. Also if she had a budget she should of kept to it. The other family who saying "think if others" should back off and keep all comment to them self's. Unless it is her dad, mom who are paying for it. Then the wedding party could of said no to being in the wedding so they need to suck it up as well as family also could of declined the invite.

As of helping her be happy she need some time to relax and distress and to think about her honeymoon, all the good things coming out of this wedding. It is a time to celebrate love. a trip to the spa should help. Best wishes.

If she can't handle THIS stress, she shouldn't be getting married. You know, there's always STRESS, life is stressful, you have to deal with it. If everyone planning a wedding would just see it as the first of many, many challenges to come I would guess that far more people would NOT get married and the rest would stay married forever!