Is there a point when you can just cut your father out of your life?

I have a similar situation with my father. But my Dad is very controlling and seems to need to put others down and talk badly about them to somehow lift himself up.

Have you approached Dad about this? By phone may be better. Or maybe even a letter. Make sure you don't go in being accusatory. Try to be calm and you will be more likely to get a calm response.

Now, I have tried it all. Staying calm. Confronting him firmly. Writing letters. None of it has worked. Today in general conversation by phone he insulted me twice and it was very depressing to me.

As much as I love my family I know it's time to cut him out. He will never change. And even demanding respect from him and insisting that he not talk about me to others does not matter to him. He is quick to tell me that I can't tell him what to do...but I am an adult and he is causing trouble in my life?

So, I am letting go. As much as I hate it I have to do it. I would love to have a good relationship with him but I can't make it work. When you are "gone" he will just end up finding someone else to gossip about. But at least it won't be you.

"My father shouldn't probably even be talking to my ex." Not gonna happen. You divorced him, not the rest of the world. Part of the responsibility after divorce is being adult enough to deal with these obvious and predictable situations. You knew this type of thing was bound to happen from time to time.

"my 12 year old daughter, who overheard them talking, again a big boundary issue" Why ? Was this not going to happen. Please don't be offended, but the world does not revolve around your life. We are all here and must learn to live together.

Another statement I find interesting...

"that me and my weirdo boyfriend were high at the family Christmas party. Which is totally a lie and he is not "weirdo" at all"

Cute, funny, but it points out a snippet of your lifestyle. Your more interested in the conversations overheard, and what is said, than in the example you set for your 12 yr old daughter by puffin weed... or whatever.

Suggestion: You and he chose the divorce option. Now deal with the ramifications of it. Continuing to fight only sets other examples for the kids. You and he are still the example for your children. And why get high ? Is it that bad that you need an escape from reality ?

Looks like you are having a problem of your own.

What your father does is his perogative as your ex-husband is still the father of your child.

On the other hand, have you ever thought that perhaps you are the one who is making a big mistake?.....Food for thought..

take care