FAMILY and divorce issues. PLZ HELP?

Sorry your going through that - that sucks. I dont know what state your in but in Michigan at the age of 12 you as a child have a right tell the judge who you want to live with - they will consider your choice as long as the parent is able to care for you , there are a few factors that come into play. Also neither parent can take you out of the state without the others permission - not even for vacation . Good luck

So sorry honey.. It's a real bummer, I know.. You're not alone.Unfortunately many kids out there younger, older and your age are in the same boat.. First off, since you're13 you should have a say in who you feel you'd like to live with.. Making a choice is not easy..Love both parents and don't want to hurt one or the other.. But, when this does go to court, for the custody, a Judge will make the decision. Most likely due to your age, he will ask you to come into his chambers, privately, and ask you questions on your feelings and just who you would rather be with and why.. It will help him decide a very important and difficult issue. Don't be afraid to tell him how you really feel.. This concerns your life too and not just mom and dad.. Also remember that when you turn 18, you can decide to go out on your own or live with whoever and it will be up to you.. 5 years may seem like a longtime, but actually it will pass pretty quickly.. In the meantime, don't let this interfere with your studies, or your important religious event coming up..Your life is very important, and you can't let mom and dad's problems ruin your life. Being upset is perfectly normal and it's hard not to let it affect you..Keep talking out your feelings with a counselor and mom and dad.. Also grandparents and any close friends who you can confide in.. It does help not to bottle it all up.. Also, you can go to your Rabbi.. Hes there for you too.. I hope I helped a bit. All my best wishes to you honey.. :-)

I am so sorry you're going through this. But as hard as it is to understand and to put yourself outside of how you feel about things, there is always more going on than you know of.

I can't tell you that your parent's marriage and resulting problems are none of your business - because you are their child and will, unfortunately, feel the brunt of things...but you have no control over what they do in that aspect.

All you can do is talk to them and tell them that you love them and that this situation is hurting you. If you do have a preference for where you'd like to live, then you are going to have to speak up.

Hang in there...it'll take a bit of time, but it WILL get better. Meantime, try as hard as you can to focus on your studies and just being 13 years old.

If you feel you cannot talk to your parents, then maybe you could approach a trusted teacher or your school's guidance counselor about this - they WILL help you. And it will feel good to vent about all of this.

Hi sweetie. This is the most horrible thing to go through, I know. First, I'm sorry your Mom is even talking to you about it. She shouldn't. You may disagree, and feel like your Mom is your friend, but your Mom is your Mom and should leave you out of her opinions.

I agree with the poster who said to talk to your Rabbi. That would be REALLY helpful. Counselors ask how you feel, because, hard to believe, going through that process..though you can't see it right away....TRUST ME, really, really, really helps. Someone said at your age you should have a say. Yes, but the judge won't automatically ask you. That's the kicker. You could try to find out which judge is handling your case and write him or her a letter saying you'd like to live with both parents. My kids spend one week with their Mom and one week with their Dad. That schedule is hard too. But it works for us, and we get through the transition days as best we can, and the kids are way happier then when they used to see one parent less than the other....but that's just our situation...

Another thing to remember, and this is hard to face, parents divorcing don't like each other very much, and unfortunately, despite knowing it's wrong, SOMETIMES try to "get the child on their side". Which is insane. That is very harmful. If your father has shown YOU sides of himself that make you feel unsafe (like he drinks and then drives you, or drinks and turns in to another person, or leaves you unattended for long periods of time, or yells at you abusively, or has ever hit your or can't keep a job) then maybe you would want the judge to set it up so you can see him with a supervisor on the weekends and ask him to get your father counseling. They CAN set that up for you. But if he's a pretty good Dad, then he has rights, and you have rights to have him in your life. If you feel like, he's not a very good parent, but he's trying and all of your needs are met, then maybe you could stay with him every other weekend. It's so important for a child to have access to both parents. So important.

Go to your school counselor, and ask them HOW you can let the court know your wishes, and she may be able to get you what's called a "legal child advocate". Your Mom may not want you to say something different than what she wants, and it's your right to not argue with her about it and just try to talk to an advocate or what's called a court "Mediator" ALONE, and voice your opinion. Good luck honey. I really mean it, and its ok to cry. Try to find other kids in on line forums whose parents are divorcing to talk to your peers about what this is like. You'll find that to be really healing. Nothing helps like having other kids your age who are going through the same thing to talk to.

Your question unexpectedly jogged my memory of my 3 year previous nephew. whilst his dad scolded him at some point he stated "why do no longer you communicate to me with love". It improve into an extremely harmless assertion even yet it melted everybody's coronary heart unexpectedly. you're in basic terms thirteen and its undesirable which you may desire to pass via plenty. yet you be conscious of if father and mom start to overlook to act then the toddler might desire to enhance up for a jointly as to coach them what's physically powerful. do no longer injury your self, they're battling because of the fact they have matters that they are not waiting to tackle. Get your self at the same time and whilst they are not battling communicate over with them separately and tell them you like them and the fights are scaring you. in case you think of its puzzling to chat then there is one difficulty that in basic terms approximately continuously works! Write a letter ....... to the two one in all them ....... write it examine it and save it with you for some days and save analyzing it and alter in spite of you may desire to. supply your self time, like 5 days, then after those 5 days supply it on your father and mom. do no longer make the letter sound such as you're accusing everybody. in basic terms write your emotions and the way injury you experience. the actuality which you're announcing you prefer them divorced makes me experience an element concern too that they might get divorced. do no longer point out divorce jointly as you communicate to them. Pour your coronary heart into that letter such as you probably did in this communicate board. desire you each of the terrific , take care

You need to be talking your parents or even your Rabi (sp?) for help not a bunch of strangers.