should my husband be in charge of wether i can work or not?

No, your husband shouldn't be in charge in whether or not you can work. But I have a feeling that your husband is feeling insecure because he doesn't make that much money. By you bringing up the subject of going to work, scares him. I'd try a different approach and just tell him that you're thinking of going to work part time to give yourself something to do other than housework. Assure him that you'll be home in time for the kids to come home so you won't have to pay for daycare and then go out and fill out some applications. I know when I went to work when my son started school, my husband felt that I didn't need him anymore because he did everything. He'll come around, but it might take some time.

If you want to work and he doesn't want you too, I think part-time work is an excellent compromise. I think you said it best when you said "I want my own money to spend on my kids clothes and also just to be out with people again." I think most people have that need to be around other adults! I love my husband, but treasure my work friends also! You also seem to be very generous wanting to help pay the bills. By the way, I am no way implying being a stay at home mom is not a FULL time job. Best of Luck!!!

It sounds like your husband is a very controlling man. Has he always been that way?

I strongly recommend that you get counselling to help deal with him before this control gets worse.

No it is not unreasonable to want a part-time job, not only for the money but to get you out of the home and around other adults as well. And, no your husband should not be "in charge" of any aspect of your life. It should be a mutually discussed decision making.

Please find a counsellor and if your husband won't go with you, go alone.

It is your decision. Tell him that if he wants you to stay at home then he has to bring more money home for you and your kids. You are not satisfied with the money problems you are having and you want more for your children. Either he gets a second job or he lets you work a little bit. At the end of the day though its your choice if you want to work or not.

Tell your husband that you can work part time in the mornings and during the afternoon you can cook, clean and iron etc......or you can get a full time job and hire a maid or a cleaner to do the cooking cleaning etc.....

Its your life, hun.

If you want to get a job, then go for it. It is not like you are asking for something outrageous.

It is normal for you want more for yourself.

I work 45 hours a week and still cook, clean, iron, walk the dogs and go the gym. I don't have children, but that is what your husband is there for; to partake in the responsibilities.

Your husband sounds like he needs to jump back to the 1950s.

You go out to work. Weather it be part time for a little extra cash or full time so you can get out. Sounds as though you best prepare yourself for no help around the house plus his resentment.

Women did not throw themselves under horses to get equal rights for nothing

mmmm makes you wonder why his previous marriage didnt work out. Sounds like he has control issues. That and too traditional. Wake up men, this is not the 50's!

I would guess and say that he is afraid of another failed marriage and the one way to ensure that you do not leave is that you are dependant on him for everything.

Get to work, make enough to leave this control freak, if you loose you place to live, he'll try to blame you, you get that cleaning job. It's just a form of control, you go girl. Good luck...

The only person in charge of you is you. He doesn't own you, so don't let him think that he does.

You want to work, go out, be around friends? Then by all means, do it. There's nothing wrong with it.

And, as far as I'm concerned, you only get one life, why do you want to ruin it how someone else tells you. Ruin it in the way you want to. :)

If you don't want to be under his thumb, don't let yourself be. It's not fair to you.

It's about what you want to do, within reason. And this is within reason. If it's what you want, go get it. :)

Good luck! :D