My ex still trys to control everything, should I talk to him when he calls just being nosy?

Let the past go.

You said you were being treated like a child in the marriage. You left so that you could be free to act like an adult.

So, act like an adult in this new co-parenting relationship. No games. No revenge. Treat him like a business partner.

If he offers parenting advice, politely say, "I'll take that into consideration, thank you for the information". If he asks personal questions that you would rather not answer, politely change the subject. If he offers personal information, politely say, "That's interesting" & then move on.

Just because he's acting like a child doesn't mean that you have to do so, too. You get to choose who you are. You also get to choose how you behave as your child's parent, considering how your child is aware of everything that's going on in his parents' lives & interactions with each other.

Wow were you also married to my ex-husband? I cannot believe how similar your story sounds to mine in the context of how controlling he was after we were finally divorce. I was with my ex at 16, married at 18, and divorced last year at the age of 23 due to his controlling, abusive, lying, cheating behavior. After we were separated, he would try to play the ole' control card that had worked so well for him while we were married. He would threaten me about seeing anyone else, that no other man better be around her daughter, just a lot of crazy nonsense. This continued for quite a while and he would call with the same nonsense asking me why I wasn't attached, if I am happier now, he also said he had no time for a girlfriend but now that he does and has for a while, he tells me about how he does not plan on getting married again for a long time if ever. On several occasions, we would have an argument he make little threats or say that he never wants to speak to me again only to do so because 'we have a daughter together' although he has made passes at me several times while even being with his current girlfriend. He finally backed off once I became serious with my boyfriend and moved in together. However, at first when he would see me when dropping off our daughter would check my hand for an engagement ring or make comments about the relationship, which was none of his business. Long story short, he told me I could never do better than him and that I'd never make it on my own. He realized that he no longer had control but made many sad attempts to flex some sort of control over me anyway, which did not work. It probably caused him to realize what he had lost and if not, just make him feel weaker and not have the power he once felt so obliged and eager to abuse. He had to realize that he was no longer a part of my life and could not get his way. He has finally to a degree changed for the better but you have to be persistent and just never give into any of his head games no matter how badly they bother or annoy you because that is what he ultimately wants, is a weakness of character to take advantage of...It's sad to think how weak those that go on power trips really are and hopefully he will let up for your sake because I know what a headache it can be especially when you must maintain some sort of contact since there are kids involved. Good luck to you but I wouldn't say that he is after you to be with you...probably just testing to see if he could just to satisify his ego and take advantage of you in some way, shape, or form. If I were you just keep your conversations to being about your children and that's it. Don't give him anymore information if it bothers you so much. He is not in control and you can refrain from conversing with him beyond the context of your children and still maintain a civil relationship. Good luck and take care.

First of all, I wouldn't talk to him about anything but your children. Let him know that you have a new life now and that it is none of his business what you do. It sounds like you're right...he wants control still. You also need to let him know that you're the mom and you know how to take care of your own kids. If you needed advice from him then you would ask. I would avoid him as much as possible unless it has to do with the kids. Don't let him pull you back into that abusive cycle. You have dealt with him long enough. It is time to say f**k off. But good for you for leaving him. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

Hmm...must be related by blood to mine.

The control thing he has going, is because he has no control over his own life, it's easier to try to control you so he doesn't have to face his own life.

He's looking for a chink in your armor and will keep picking away at you until he's gotten what he wants. You're divorced, you don't have to answer his phone calls, letters, emails, even the door if you don't want to.

If he keeps insisting on trying to make you miserable, you can go back to court and have a mediator that meets halfway to give the children back and forth from mom to dad, without the parents having to communicate directly to each other.

Oh yes, he won't stop.

Seeing as I certainly have been in a semi comparable difficulty, i think of it extremely is time so which you would be able to get out of the marriage. it may in no way get greater appropriate in any respect and you may waste different time waiting for it to accomplish that. i replaced into in a 10 300 and sixty 5 days marriage and it in basic terms have been given worse. If he's controlling and additionally retaining secrets and methods then there is greater occurring than you recognize. pass out and get somebody which will manage you like the excellent man or woman you're! you do no longer need to stay in that style of existence. good success!

Do not talk to him about anything that is not directly about the kids health, school, wellbeing, etc. When he starts to probe you for info about you, ignore him, pretend you didn't hear him. It is none of his business if you are dating or not. He is an abuser who is still wanting to control you. If he continues, talk to the courts about getting a mediator that you would take the kids to and he can pick up from and drop off with and request that he not be allowed to contact you directly. There should be a way to do so through your local CS office.

There is no rule that says you have to answer his calls! Tell him if he is wanting to talk about who you are seeing, or anything that has to do with the way you are now living your life, you will hang up! He has a right to check up on his children, but that is it!

Yep..sounds like control issues to me..take good care of yourself. You are under NO obligation, legally, morally or otherwise, to tell him what is going on in your life except as it effects the kids.

Don't pick up the phone when he calls, just ignore him except when he comes to get the kids or whatever, have no convo with him other than things to do with the kids. He's a loser.

Sounds as though he has control issues....now that he is losing control of you - he has to take his digs to find a weak spot in you as he did for 9 years. Good for you to get yoruself and your children out of that situation. I wouldn't dwell on what he has done/still does, focus on you accomplishments.