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Mental health hotline.?
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the star key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social
security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
21 Answers
- tastybitsLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
hehehe, you got the number hun, think i need to call them, pmsl
star time
xxxxxxxxxxx
- bilbo bLv 41 decade ago
Things You Can't Say at Work
ahhh...i see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again...
i don't know what your problem is, but i'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
i see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
it sounds like english, but i can't understand a word you're saying.
i can see your point, but i still think you're full of sh*t.
i like you. you remind me of when i was young and stupid.
you are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
i have plenty of talent and vision. i just don't give a damn.
i'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. thank you.
we're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
what am i? flypaper for freaks!?
yes, i am an agent of satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
and your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
do i look like a people person?
this isn't an office. it's hell with fluorescent lighting.
sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
if i throw a stick, will you leave?
i'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
can i trade this job for what's behind door #1?
how do i set a laser printer to stun?
i thought i wanted a career, turns out i just wanted a paycheck.
- 1 decade ago
LOL, I've heard this one before. It's still funny though, it's been a long time! Mine would be 9696969696!
- Anonymous4 years ago
Lestermount
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- Anonymous5 years ago
411
- Anonymous1 decade ago
ha ha ha excellent,,, posted this one myself in the last month, hope it does as well as mine did
star
- 1 decade ago
ROFL! ive heard this before but i always find it funny... Keep it up! ;D
Source(s): personal experiance
