My husband and his friends?

Stop whinning!!!!! That's why he's with his boys, they don't nag him. The man is going off and may never return, STOP NAGGING HIM!!!!! Get drunk, laugh, make a baby, make memories, make him want to come back home to you. TOOT THAT THANG UP, MOMMY MAKE IT ROLL!!!

Your husband is being deployed in a month. He knows that could be a very dangerous thing for him, he may never end up coming home.

You got married young, you have to learn that because he isn't on top of you 24 hours a day doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. It means he needs to see his friends, live some of the life that he didn't REALLY finish living before you got married, and give himself the comfort of knowing that if he doesn't come home, that he's lived a life.

I know that sounds like I'm saying it's ok for you to feel the way you do-- neglected. It's not. But if you're trying to force him to be with you, and threatening to leave him if he doesn't, then there are other issues in your relationship. Why do you want to FORCE that? Why are you putting so much pressure on him? I mean, "I want him to spend the majority of his free time with me and I don't think that's asking too much." Clearly it is-- what is it that you do when you spend time alone together? He's asked yo ut ospend time with his friends-- it's an open invitation for you to learn what he likes and you're turning it down.

There are a lot of issues here, and you need to work on 1) your possessiveness and insecurity and 2) his need to run from that.

He's leaving soon, give him some space to do what he needs to do. But BE PART OF IT. He's asking you. It's only a month-- that's certainly worth the effort to save your marraige and let your husband be deployed in peace.

Well, lalala, you probably don't want to hear this, but here goes:

Your man is in an extreme extenuating circumstance.

He's being deployed in less than a month.

He is absolutely not going to conform right now, simply due to the fact that when he comes home he knows he could return maimed or dead.

So he's heading out with the guys. Maybe for the last time.

He can't resolve issues with you and he's got a very short time left.

If you really want to spend some time with him, you are going to have to invest in spending Quality time. Now would be a good time to let all his faults and shortcomings go. Take a good look at the man who is putting his life on the line.

Can you appreciate that?

You have now, right now only, to be with him as he is. I'm sure he'd love to spend some intimate time with you before he ships out.

But when life as you know it is ending in 21 days....you've gotta have priorities. That priority is him.

Either you can make him a priority, or not.

Now is not the time to fix your marriage, now is the time to Be Married. Time to give 100%, regardless of his faults, regardless of past offenses. You've got 21 days, 20, 19....

You make it what it will be. Love him now like you don't have tomorrow, dear...

You may not have tomorrow.

I am having the same problem, and it invloved drinking, I am 5 months pregnant, and I just found out that he has cheated on me....I am getting a divorce. I too would rather be alone then feel like I have to compete for the love affection and attention of my husband. It isn't right, and I am not going to put up with it anymore. A spouse should be the most important thing in your life, and if he doesn't think so, then he should be single, because his maturity level is not what it should be for a married man.

You should sit down with him and talk to him about how you feel. Remind him that he is getting deployed in a month & it would mean a lot to you if you guys got to spend a lot of time together since he is going to be gone for a while & could maybe never come back.

If he isn't willing to spend more time with you maybe he never really was ready to get married. And maybe he should find another place to live when he comes back from deployment.

Honey give him some time. You may not know the extent of his issues. Maybe being with his boys help him to forget the things over in Iraq/Iran. If he is being deployed soon. He may be scared out of his mind. The comfort of his friends during this time. Just continue to support him and not add more stress to his life.

Is he gay?

Do you know all of these friends?

What are he and the friends doing all the time that is so fun? Going out to singles bars is unacceptable.

Is he cheating and using the friends for an excuse? Is he where he says he is?

Why doesn't he invite all of the friends to your house so you can be included? It's fishy.

Ask him for what you want. ___time with you and ____time for both of you to be with friends (after you've determined he really is with friends and what they are doing). If you can't agree on what is reasonable, then get counseling. Military chaplain or your minister if you can't afford regular marriage counseling.

You and he also need to make friends with 4 or 5 married couples like yourselves with whom you can socialize together.

Read the book Divorce Busters - it has a lot of good advice.

Joy to you!

I had this same problem he spent all his free time with a neighbor getting stoned or the neighbor would be a fixture here.I started to lead my own life and with other issues going on as well I asked him to go and he did it not easy but its less stressful,only you know how far he can take you with this type of doormat treatment its your call ,your life good luck

Being that he is about to be deployed, you'd think that he'd want to spend more time with you. He married you because he said that he loved you and wanted you to be a part of his life. But he is neglecting you and that is wrong. His friends should come second to you in his life. If he is having second thoughts about being married, then he needs to talk to you about it so you two can discuss whether or not you two want to get a divorce. He should be with you because he wants to be with you and not because you force him to or guilt him into it. If he continues to be this way, then you need to decide whether or not you want to stay with him.

immature men attract immature men and the military is full of immature boys wanting to be men. Either fight and give him time to mature or leave him. He will not give up his immature ways easily! How much do you love him? Are you willing to go to H^ll and back? If not the love may not be strong enough.

A married person...man or woman should want to spend the majority of their free time with their spouse....I also believe that everyone should have time to spend with friends as well......but when a person consistently chooses their friends over their spouse...that signifies a problem...sounds to me like your husband wants to be single again....