What should I do about my future in-laws??

Been there done that and no matter what you want the only one who can change the situation is his mother and him. First you need to sit down with him and tell him exactly what you have said on here and anything else you want out in the open. Explain to him that you are willing to work on things but you can't do it alone. Next if he loves you and he is happy then he has to be a man and stand up to his mom and tell her flat out that you are who he loves, you are who he wants to marry and have a family with and you are his future and she can either accept it or not it is her choice but his life. he needs to explain to her that although there have been problems in the past you have worked through them and are ready to move forward. He needs to do the same with his sister and if he feels the same as you do regarding that situation then he needs to tell her and his mom as much. Most important you both have to stand together. If he goes running to mommy it is all your fault then it won't work because then you start to resent him. No matter what the situation with the sister and the parents is not your concern or his. A parent loves their child no matter what and they ignore a lot of what everyone else sees. It is their money let them give it to her just make it clear you wont hand over yours. If his mom really loves him she might not be the mother in law you dreamed of but she will be civil. Seeing him happy will do a lot for the situation as well. The main thing to remember is you two have to agree and do it together and support each other and if you can't do that then I wouldn't get married.

What was his point in telling you this now? Didn't you already know that she didn't like you?

You need to have a sit down with your fiance and his parents--have the sister in on this if she lives with them. And have him tell them in front of you that he is sorry for burdening his parents with bad stories about you and that he's sorry those stories caused them to form a bad opinion of you. *You acknowledge where you were wrong in their eyes and show them how you have changed.* Show them that you are a united front. Your fiance has to promise them that he will never again burden them with his personal relationship problems and will take up his issues about the relationship with YOU.

Keep your mouth shut about the sister and your opinions about her to yourself. NEVER speak them aloud. The fact that the sister knows what you were thinking, means that you told someone and that someone told her. Make it clear to the parents that their relationship with their daughter and her boyfriend are none of your business and you had no right to comment on them. You are sorry that what you said got back to them and further hurt your relationship with them.

Let them know that you are together for the long haul (like 6 years together wasn't their first clue?) and that you are interested in making a relationship with them work.

You're not going to be all buddy buddy at first. Maybe not ever. But you can at least establish a civil relationship--one where you can trust that they won't sabotage your relationship with your man. Your fiance should also be the primary person who deals with his family, just as you should be the primary person who deals with yours.

also: since the sister is a druggie. Get some info from Al-Anon for the parents and have it ready if and when they ask you or their son for help about the sister. DO NOT GIVE HER MONEY. The parents can enable her, but you and her brother CANNOT. He needs to deal with her and he needs to be strong and be prepared to offer her help in ways that don't involve him financing her addiction.

Good Luck.

edit:

You can't deal with the sister until she's clean and sober. As long as she's on the drugs, you are dealing with her drug of choice. She sounds like a classic drug addict. The only way you can be her friend is to buy her drugs. Stop trying with her. Be polite, nothing more.

As to the mom, if your sit down with her doesn't help things out. Then you may need to distance yourself from her. Which means if she turns out to be destructive, then you may need to limit her contact with any grandchildren you produce.

I don't think there is anything that could make this situation better. My mother-in-law hates my guts becuase I took her son away from her (we got married). I have tried for almost 5 years to make amends with her but nothing works. She too, tries to hold things from the past against me. I am also the mother of her grandchild and I always have made it a point to let her have a relationship with my son, but she chooses not to. Good luck, I know how tough it is!!!

Marriage isn't going to smooth over all this drama.

If your fiance's sister is causing a rift in the family, then why not cut ties with her?

It's apparent she doesn't like you, so stay out of her business.

If the parents want their daughter and her beau out of their home, they will kick them out.

Your questions read like a diary. LOL! Now when you've reached the 7 year itch just put your lips together pucker and whistle. LOL! Just kidding, but your questions do read as a diary.

Tell him you feel the same way about his mother so what's his point?

You really can't do anything about it. You will just have jerks for in-laws.

Move far far away from them.

You cannot fix it. Call off the marriage.