If my future in-laws don't want me to have a specific person as a bridesmaid, should I comply?

I see a lot of people saying that it is your wedding, do what you ant, and that his parents are being childish etc. And honestly, I agree to a point. It IS your wedding and you should be able to have who you want and they really should be more mature about it. However, because your fiance has asked you not to do it, then I think you should rethink your decision. Have you asked him what his opinion is about the whole situation without taking his parents concerns into mind? Perhaps he has other reasons besides his parents not wanting her. If his only reason is to respect his parents, then maybe you can talk to him rationally about how you feel and that you understand that he wants to respect his parents and not cause problems, but that he is going to need to understand and respect you as well. Maybe the two of you can come to some agreement that will suit the two of you, even if it doesn't suit his parents.

Good luck. :)

I agree that it's your wedding and all the other stuff. But you're marrying into a family and this will not go away for a long time. Having said that, I really think that your fiance and his brother together need to have a talk with their parents and explain to them that the gal is your friend; also that your future brother-in-law is over the drama and doesn't care if she is in your wedding. These two guys are the only ones who can solve this. You have every right to ask them to get together and talk to their parents, explaining that you have a right to ask your friend to be in the wedding. The brother needs to let them know he doesn't mind. They need to tell the parents they respect the parents feelings and understand the reason they have these feelings, but that this needs to be solved and not be an issue. Let them take care of it, and the sooner, the better. If they won't do it, then you need to rethink whether or not your fiance is man enough to be getting married.

I think you should put whoever you want in your bridal party. If your future in-laws don't like your friend that's too bad, they are acting childish. However, since you said your sister is your alternate I think you should put her in. She will always be your sister and she should be included in your bridal party regardless of how responsible she is. I'm sure your other bridesmaids will pick up the slack. Just let your friend know that you are asking your sister and I'm sure she will understand. You can give your friend some other responsibility for your wedding day.

Your future in-laws don't have any say about who is in your bridal party. Sit down with your fiance and discuss how you feel and come to a decision together and don't let the in-laws get in the way. Do what YOU want, it is your wedding. We had people at our wedding how disliked each other. Your in-laws need to be adults and step aside, this isnt their wedding.

inspite of the fact your bestfriend had a relationship with your fiances brother. that does not change the fact she was and still is your bestfriend. And dont forget this is Your wedding she is going to be there for YOU. Not your fiances brother. she sounds liek shes responsible enough and shes not gonna make a scene. i understand you want to please yoru fiance and his parents. but they also need to understand you have known her for a very long time and you consider her your bestfriend and you feel like she should be YOUR bridesmaid. I think you should listen and be a little selfish . This is your wedding! besides, your fiances brother doesnt seem to mind

I think what they're asking of you is completely unreasonable, selfish and petty. BUT, you have to live with them as your in-laws for the rest of their lives. Talk it over with your fiance and decide what's best for you as a couple and for you with a lifetime of in-laws, in the future. Perhaps your future brother-in-law is willing to talk to the parents to explain that it's unreasonable of them to ask you not to have your long-time good friend stand up in your wedding. If he can't/won't, then maybe your fiance will. I think they'd hear it better, and would be more likely to bend, if one or both of their sons asked them than if you did.

If you do decide that for the sake of your future relationship with the in-laws not to ask your friend, then explain to her that your fiance's parents aren't comfortable with her participating in the wedding because of her prior relationship with the groom's brother. Be sure to let her know that you value your friendship and it hurts you to have to choose.

I hope they get some sense and change their minds. You shouldn't go against your fiance's wishes (you need to make this decision together), but if he supports you going ahead, then figure out how to deal with the in-laws.

It's your wedding. If your friend makes you feel comfortable, relaxed and you really want her there then you should ask her. It's your day...they can just deal with it for 24 hours. If the brother doesn't care, then why should your fiance or the parents?

Try talking to him and his parents. Tell them that you don't want to be disrespectful, but you have spoken with the brother and he is okay with it and she is a good friend of yours. Tell them it would hurt you if she wasn't in the wedding. You aren't asking them to be friends forever, just be civil for 24 hours.

It's your wedding if you want her there invite her but leave her out of the weddin g party as there will be big nonsense from the other side You really don't need bridesmaids that's the way to go Maybe you can have a Matron of honor? Sounds like the wedding isn't going to be huge and this would be nice

Your future in-laws need to get over it. So they dated and it didn't work out. Oh well. She is one of your best friends therefore she should be included in your big day. She should be in your pictures. I just wouldn't have her stand up with your future brother in law and it should be fine. My brother in law dated two of my bridesmaids (at different times) and his wife was fine with everyone being in the bridal party. The past is the past.

I think as long as your future brother in law is ok with it and they will not be standing up together, it is ok. It is your wedding and your pictures. Tell you future in laws that she is one of your best friends and it means alot to you to have her as a part of it and you understand there concerns but there will not be any problems. jusst because THEY dont like her isnt a good reason to keep her out of the wedding. Thats not fair for them to expect you to not include who you want.