Why do women ask the silliest questions, and then get mad when you answer them truthfully?

I could swear we already answered this question today. Oh well, that's deja vu for you. Or maybe it got swallowed up by the answer police vortex. Anyway, here's my previous answer.

In the first place, honesty is probably the world's most overrated virtue.

In the second place, if you're going to have any truck with women you should understand a few things. One is that we ask four kinds of questions:

1. The kind that we want a specific answer to, and no other. This is most questions. Examples: Do you love me? Does this make me look fat?

2. The kind we already know the answer to but are being nice and letting you talk for a little while. Example: Should I wear the black dress or the pink dress?

3. The kind when we feel ornery and the whole thing's a trap. There's no direct answer to these questions that will help you. You have only two choices: change the question to a different question and answer that new question, or feign anaphylactic shock and clutch at your chest. Example: Which of my friends do you think is the prettiest? Best answers:

a. I only see your friends when I'm with you, and then I can't look at anyone but you. So I don't even know what your friends look like; or b. Call the doctor! I'm going into anaphylactic shock!

4. The kind we want a truthful answer to. Example: Oh gosh, I can't think of an example.

Now YOUR job is to learn which questions fall into which category. You can do this with practice.

Good luck!

EDIT Apparently you did not retain the lesson you learned in Example # 1 when incident # 2 arose. Damage control at this point is a fantasy.

Hey if I were stranded and some hot dude was there I would read him a bedtime story...lol.....no I wouldn't. Sometimes our hormones just get the best of us. And yes sometimes we are a little insecure, hey but that happens. As for the cooking and cleaning....I am sure you are responsible for all the family income and you appreciate your wife!!! Oh and these might help decode when hormones kick in:

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "Shut Up! You are wrong and you will always be wrong!!!"

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

It's not uncommon for pregnant women to feel a bit of distress or insecurity over the way that their bodies are changing. Physically and emotionally it's a stressful time. Hormone levels are changing daily, and changes to the body occurring almost as rapidly. Perhaps you didn't realize this? A pregnant woman appreciates being reassured that she is as attractive to you as she was before. Without this reassurance, she may fantasize that you'll find greener pastures and leave her. A pregnant woman is thinking about many things...not just her body and her relationship with you, but her ability to be a mother, as well. It's not uncommon for a pregnant woman to worry that she may not be able to cope with an expanding family. Worries about an expanding waistline may be what she's voicing, but chances are, it goes a little deeper than that. If she asks you a question like that, it's probably best if you keep that in mind.

As for the cheating question, she wasn't asking what you would do if you were stuck on an island. I think she was looking for a more realistic answer that had something to do with the present. You might think it's silly, but she only voiced aloud what most people actually do think about every now and then. The way you answered it probably upset her because it sounded like you were poking fun at a subject that she took seriously.

If you can try and perceive where the questions might stem from (and the emotion behind them), it might help you to figure out how to answer them in such a way that tells her you really understand how she's feeling. If you really don't understand, you don't have to pretend to. You could simply ask her why she's asking the question...you could tell her you don't understand where it's coming from, and give her a chance to explain. Being an active, attentive listener isn't just about hearing what someone says...it's also about understanding and empathy.

In cases like this, a little lie goes a long way. The answer about looking fat should have been "no" because she isn't... from behind. Then a come back with "your very beautiful". As your wife no matter what she should feel beautiful. She shouldn't have made you sleep on the couch every night, that's going to far.

If she ever asks about cheating or leaving her or picking ... over her the answer is always no. There might be that slim chance something crazy happens and you do, but chances are you wont.

That brings me to something else. If she is asking about cheating then she probably doesn't want a threesome.

Good luck

Beth

You have to know the difference between questions that require truth with a little "t" and Truth with a big "T".

Big T answers: you're gorgeous, I'd never cheat, I was just thinking you would look sexier in that skirt than she does, all I want for Christmas is you, etc.

Little t answers: I thought my dentist appointment was on the 3rd, I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready, I'd prefer spaghetti tonight, etc.

See the difference? When she asks you something like "do I look fat?" she's not really asking the question you heard. She's telling you she feels ugly and is asking, " will you please pad my ego just a bit?" The Big T is always about esteem and love. The little t is asking for fact.

Her questions are not stupid at all. She is seriously worried about the future of your relationship. Her behavior should be rising quite a few of your red flags. This woman is already upset about your total concentration on your precious self, instead of physical, moral and emotional support of her during pregnancy (with your child BTW). You have checked out. You do not want to participate any longer. You have done your part. She is not only physically sick most of the time(pregnancy tends to have that affect on females), she is also anxious about your future and the future of the children she is expecting. No woman wants to raise her babies alone. Now, do you think it would actually kill you to say a few kind words to the mother of your children? Do it with a smile on your face, without a judgment or little smirk of self righteous entitlement for freedom and fun times. She did not get that way on her own. So why do you think she should pay for it and you should not?

You do not know what good marriage is. It starts with forgetting about old little "I" at the wedding ceremony, and concentrate on "WE". Unfortunately, you don't seem to get it... Also there is a simple human compassion. As a medical professional you should know the meaning of the word pretty well... As it is, your marriage has a very small chance for survival. So your wife was right to worry about it.

Since you're at least a nurse, or a doctor you didn't said it, you must know of bedside manners. When some feels not well, in body or in mind, and I'm not telling you married a madwoman, only a human woman with her occasional insecurities and wanting to get some attentions and some cuddling time. When in stress, when pregnant, a woman may feel very insecure, so asks for a kind word, even if she don't say it out loud. So give her a kind word, you married her, for heaven's sake

Well, you wouldn't want to hear what she'd do with Brad Pitt on a deserted island, would you?

And you definitely don't want to hear what you look like in those jogging pants with your t-shirt tucked in.

Of course, you probably don't ask for any of this "info" in the first place.

The reason SHE asks is because she needs REASSURANCE, not your honest opinion. She needs to hear that even though she feels (and probably looks) like a beached whale while she's pregnant, that you still find her beautiful. Do you really think she wants to know whether or not she looks fat? She's pregnant, of course she looks "fat," and she knows it. And she's insecure about it. And she needs to hear that you will always love HER, and want to be with her (hence the "pillow talk."). She's not looking for hypothetical "stranded on an island" scenarios, she's looking to hear that you want her and only her. Obviously, she is feeling a little insecure. This (probably) has nothing to do with you, but as unfair as it may seem, she is looking for reassurance from you.

The truth is rarely the way to go when you're asked loaded questions like that. There's "the right answer," which will save you from many-a-painful nights on the couch.

It also sounds like you shouldn't have got married but hey, even doctors make mistakes.

At some point in all our lives both Men and Women ask difficult questions.

We try and answer to the best of our ability but no one is above asking the absurd- that is what makes us interesting as human beings.