Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

How funny did you find these two jokes?

Please star if you liked them.

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."

And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."

Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."

The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

17 Answers

Relevance
  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Nide one, havn't heard them before! Star

  • 1 decade ago

    Both were cute but I liked the first one. I love new jokes I'd probably use both :D

    I think I've heard the second one somewhere.

  • 1 decade ago

    Cute, second one made me laugh. I love a joke I can share with the kids. I like clean jokes. Refreshing.

  • 1 decade ago

    Heard them both before, but they still both got a laugh from me, and a STAR for you...

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 5 years ago

    ther no longer lol humorous yet ok heres one for you >>>>>>>>>>> A in touch husband went to a physician to talk approximately his spouse. He says to the scientific expert, "scientific expert, i think of my spouse is deaf because of the fact she in no way hears me the 1st time and continuously asks me to repeat issues." "nicely," the scientific expert spoke back, "go abode and this night stand approximately 15 ft from her and say some thing to her. If she would not respond pass approximately 5 ft close and say it lower back. save doing this so as that we are going to get an theory relating to the severity of her deafness". valuable adequate, the husband is going abode and does precisely as on the spot. He starts off off approximately 15 ft from his spouse interior the kitchen as she is reducing some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He hears no reaction. He strikes approximately 5 ft nearer and asks lower back. No respond. He strikes 5 ft nearer. nevertheless no respond. He gets bored stiff and strikes suitable in the back of her, approximately an inch away, and asks lower back, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I LOVE THE FIRST JOKE

    the second joke was kinda mean!

    Still funny though!

    Source(s): my Funny Bone duh!
  • 1 decade ago

    I heard the first one before, and the other one was so-so.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The second is HILARIOUS.

    First is funny in a sucks-to-be-you way, but that second one..

    LMFAO

  • 1 decade ago

    The 2nd is funny as heck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't get any of them what does the first one mean and what does the second one mean?

    0_o

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.