What would you do? "online affair"?

Kick her to the curb.

Ask her to leave. Open the door, pack her things and tell her to go find the happiness she's been searching for. She can no longer stay with you to make you feel this way any longer. It's not fair to you. Tell her to make sure she takes the computer because she will find she will love that more than the person she is chatting with. So when things go wrong with this bozo and when he's not the person she's dreamed up online, she will still have her computer to hold at night. That is what she is in love with. Let her go out there and realize that on her own. You cannot force someone to love you or want to stay with you. If they complain they are unhappy it means they are or have fallen out of love with you. If you want to win her back, let her go. Stay far away from her until she realizes what she has lost. Be a strong/stern man. Women want and need that. If she doesn't realize it then you simply move on and do what you can to get past this. But I sense she will not move on. But move her out until she figures it out!

Others have already given you good advice. I just wanted to emphasize that at some point you are going to have to watch out for yourself (because obviously she isn't). Don't let this woman walk all over you -- no matter how much you love her, she's not giving back. I'm not saying you have to leave her, but it could well be time to get mad at her! If she's used to you doing anything and everything you might actually find she responds to you finally sticking up for yourself and speaking any truths that you have not really brought up.

wow i don't know i guess your a very good person to put up with that... i know what it like to have a on line affair and it felt really good sorry but he stopped talking to me oh well!!!! but that is because my husband is a jerk and well i guess that no excuse but yeah you need to try your hardest and tell her you love her and all and I'm sure you have and if she just does not love you no more then get out why stay in a loveless marriage or you will be like me 24 yrs later depressed and not loved!!!!!

I would get rid of the internet or go for counseling..she may be lacking something in the relationship but too worried to say so.

If you have given her a chance and exercised the above mentioned, I might be inclined to leave. Without trust, what do you have?

Janet Jackson said it best, "what have you done for me lately?"

You gave her too much of you and anything else. It sounds like to me that she does not love you as much as you love her and she is treating you bad.

I would think about leaving. If you are not strong enough--then start making friends, plans, etc without her until you are ready to move on!

I dunno.... tough call, however... I do feel you're being used by her... she's not meeting you half way by any means.... especially since she's still yapping online with this dude. But you're ok to have around financially (in her mind)... you helped her with her Father's death. I think you are being taken for granted... taken advantage of big time... it doesn't appear she has much respect or love for you, because if she did??.....she wouldn't be near a computer talking to another man, especially when she knows it makes you unhappy.

You said you gave her trips to see her father. Could she be craving the attention of a man? This man online gives her the attention she should be getting from you. He is there for her. It is safe and she won't get into trouble with 'just emailing' this guy. I would say have another talk with her.

The fact that she continues to have contact with him. Knowing full well that it bothers you. Shows she doesn't care about you or your marriage. I think you should move on and find someone that loves and appreciates you.

You did all you can do. Time to move on. Pack your stuff and get gone ASAP. Sever all ties. Cancel anything in your name that she uses. Liquidate all joint accounts. Leave her a note that says "Thanks for nothing."