A short six line poem? Please read and critique it?

One of the better poems I have read on here.

it's well-developed in its idea. people tend to respond better to images, so you may want to consider connecting the feelings of "fear" and "courage" to actual, specific, physical things. if you wrote this poem out of experience, it shouldn't be hard for you to associate the feelings with real things. the idea is to get someone else to feel the fear, and then the courage, and ideally you would be able to make someone feel this way without actually ever mentioning the words "fear" or "courage."

questions to think about:

-What kind of light is it?

-Where does it come from?

-What does it feel like? The sun? A stage spotlight? A flashlight beam?

-Is it a yellow light? a white light? dim or bright?

-What else is in the light's glow?

-What is something besides fear that has a cold, hard grip? a frozen lake? a dead hand?

-Why does the chill creep down your throat instead of up your throat?

-What are you really describing here? Chills + cold + something in your throat... sounds like some kind of illness... could you do something with that?

I think that you have interesting thoughts, but the poem could use a little bit of contiuation. Also, the first three lines showed alot of emotion and description; but the last line is just plain.

Despite the ending I think it is a bit dark, maybe the creeping slowly down your throat part.

The last line does not fit the in the peom. Actually the last three lines don't work, you need to put more into it.

it's pretty good, i like it.

but I'm not sure about the last line, i think you can come up with something a bit more clever

can you answer my question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgmjS...

It is a dark poem, I like it though.

yes...we all experience fear. we react differently. in your first and fourth lines you use the word us. your second and third lines you use the word your . us is plural, your is single. what you think....

oOoOo. i like it.

reminds me of faith. Jesus Christ.

but anyways . . . ^^ we all get that feeling.

i hate it, still increasing my faith in God.

good job.

God bless.