Planning a wedding, and seeing as I've never been to one before, I'm Cluless. Where do i start? What do i do?

Hi, the below article I have come across and found quite helpful so I hope it helps you too!

The first thing you have to accept is that no wedding day ever is perfect. No matter how much planning goes into the event, something will either go wrong or not quite as you wanted. Even the Hollywood star's weddings, that are planned by the top Professionals have a glitch happen during the day. That said, let's go over some of the things that need to be done to reach near perfection.

After you, the new Bride-To-Be, accept the engagement ring, it's time to consult with both families, and decide on a tentative time and place for the wedding and reception. You should also start to make up a guest list to have an idea of how large your reception hall should be. Then it's time to talk to your priest, minister or Rabbi to choose a firm date and time for the ceremony. You also want to check on any restrictions that may apply to your individual situation.

Then it's time to start the actual planning. You really should allow at least a year in advance to do this, if at all possible. Many churches/synogogues, caterers, entertainment and halls are booked that far in advance during the peak wedding season which normally runs between Mid-April to mid-October, depending on the part of the country you live. Some Brides will seek out a wedding planner/coordinator to help with suggestions and a lot of the leg work. That is another option. Whether you plan this yourself or hire a coordinator, it would be a good idea to make an outline, on paper, of all the things you want to accomplish and put a tentative date for completion next to each one. Go to an office supply store and get a couple of legal pads and an expandable file folder that has at least 5-6 pockets in it. This way you can label each pocket with the major items and keep them all separate and organized. Label the pockets for things like the Gown Shop, reception hall, caterer, entertainment, accessories and miscellaneous. Use more if you need it. This way when you need to find a contract, notes you made, etc., they are right there. Believe me, this one step will save you so much time and headaches in the future.

Next, start budgeting for the various things you will need, such as the reception location, food, clothes, honeymoon, flowers, music for the ceremony, entertainment, photographer, limousine, wedding cake, etc. See our "Budget How To" page for more help with this. Also, check out "Who Pays For What" for additional help.

As soon as you have set the wedding date, start reserving your restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, your hall for the reception, your entertainment, etc. For a group of two hundred people or more, reservations should be made at least a year in advance. For a smaller wedding the hall should be reserved eight months to a year in advance depending on the time of year.

Your computer is an invaluable tool to find a lot of what you are going to want. With a few clicks of your mouse, you can find passages for wedding vows, wording for your invitations, wedding gown, bridesmaids gowns, tuxedos, limousines, flowers, caterer, DJ, and any other needed service, from the comfort of your home or office. When you find a site you like (like ours), save it in your “favorites” list. This will enable you to remember what you saw and take you back to it.

Naturally, some items require an in-person visit, such as the venue for the reception, wedding gown alterations and tuxedo fittings. However a great deal of the time and effort can be saved by finding the styles and colors of gowns, tuxes, the types of invitations and more in the on-line world.

Take your time with all the planning and try to relax by taking a break, even for a day or two, in the process. Involve your families, the Groom-to-be, your bridal party members in helping with certain tasks. Don't try to do it all yourself. It's guaranteed to drive you nuts if you do.

Here are a few insider tips you may not think of to help make the day go more smoothly...

Practice wearing your wedding shoes before the big day.

Select a pretty handkerchief to tuck into your bouquet for those sentimental moments.

Pack a small emergency bag for those unexpected needs-- a small travel iron, needle and thread, hair spray, aspirin, nail polish, safety pins, extra panty hose, etc.

If you're having an outdoor wedding,have a colorful supply of umbrellas on hand to help ward off the possibility of inclement weather

Arrange in advance for a relative to transport gifts that are brought to the reception.

If you're planning on having candles, be sure to appoint someone to light them.

Send a romantic note to your fiancé just before the ceremony.

The morning of the wedding, allow time to take a warm bubble BATH. Soak for at least 15 minutes. You'll be amazed at how smoothly the rest of the day will go.

It's important to have a light snack before leaving for the ceremony to keep your energy level up.

And try to get a good nights sleep before the wedding. You'll be glad you did!

If you have a cell phone, make sure the battery is charged AND you have it with you on your wedding day. Give it to the Best man or Maid of Honor before you leave for the church. Make sure you have programmed in the phone numbers of ALL the vendors, the reception hall, parents, etc. If the vendors have cell phones (and most of them do for their own emergencies) ask them for that number so if there is a problem on the day, you can reach the necessary person. Use the cell phone only in an emergency, car breakdown, running late to/from the church, etc. Also, be sure to give YOUR phone number to the caterer and DJ so you can be reached if they need you in an emergency at your reception site.

Be sure you or your Groom-To-Be has extra cash on them for little things that might crop up, such as a quick stop at a drug store on the way, extra last minute fees that might come up, overtime for the entertainment, etc.

With the cost of a wedding today, many brides consider buying wedding insurance. Most policies range in cost from around $150.00 to $400.00 but the peace of mind they offer can be priceless. Wedding policies normally reimburse all non-refundable deposits if you have to cancel or postpone the wedding due to illness, damage to the wedding or reception site, weather catastrophes or if a vendor is a no show.

Most important, do not let little things grow into big ones. Try to handle each one individually and don't be afraid to ask for advice and help from your family, friends and especially the professionals you hire. They are a great resource for problem solving because they do their work on a day to day basis. You are doing this once so take advantage of their expertise. Which brings up another point. You may have decided exactly what you want and how you want things to go on your big day. Just remember, not everything is doable from the standpoint of how it will be percieved by your guests. Let your professionals make alternate suggestions to acomplish what you want but perhaps in a different order or look. Be somewhat flexible with your ideas. Go for MEMORABLE rather than perfection!

Set the date, book your reception hall and your church and everything is downhill from there. theknot.com has a great checklist with dates that you can follow.

The rehearsal dinner is the night before the wedding, you have your ceremony rehearsal then you have a dinner that follows and you invite out the bridal party and maybe some close friends and either make everyone dinner (or potluck style) or have it catered.

I have never heard of a brides lunch?

Other stuff?

Ceremony Place - appointing people for readings

Reception Place - picking food, see if they include alcohol, see if they include security

Flowers

Linens

Favors

Centerpieces

Invitations (ceremony invites, reception invites, response cards etc)

Your attaire & the grooms

Bridal party attaire

Wedding shower

registering at a store

Booking hotel for out of town guests

Picking a cake

Attendant gifts

Finding a DJ

Find a photographer

find a videographer

honeymoon

YOU and THE GROOM need to determine the following, and then stick with your decisions.

The time of your wedding . . 11AM? 4PM? Sunset?

The date of your wedding? Do you want your wedding in the spring? Summer? Winter? Or fall?

And what type of ceremony do you want? A religious ceremony in a house of worship? Or a civil (non-religious) ceremony in a Court House setting?

And where do you want to get married, the location? Someone's backyard? Park? Historical site? Beach? Museum? Hotel? Banquet hall? Firehall? Bed and breakfast? Garden? Community center? House of worship or church/chapel? Ranch? Country club? Vacation home?

The number of guests you wish to invite, just remember everytime you write someone's name down the cash register rings (you will be buying another dinner and beverages). There is a BIG financial difference between inviting forty guests and 150 guests to your reception.

Determine if you wish to invite children to the wedding and reception. Children under twelve years old? Children under sixteen years old? And do you really want to spend $34.95 on a children's dinner that they probably will not eat?

What is your total wedding and honeymoony budget? IT IS VERY IMPORTANT YOU YOU DETERMINE A REALISTIC BUDGET. And it is just as important to know WHERE this money is coming from. The Bride and Groom only? The Bride's parents? The Groom's parents? Or will the the Bride and Groom be paying a portion and the parents be paying a portion?

Determine the FORMALITY of your wedding. There is a BIG difference between a Bride wearing a simple white sundress in her parents' backyard and having a barbeque afterwards . . to the Bride buying a $1000 gown, five bridesmaids, and having the reception in a hotel with 150 guests. What are you comfortable with? And what can you and/or your parents afford? There are basically four levels of formality (ultraformal . . formal . . semiformal and casual or informal). Do you want to wear a bouffant white gown and tuxedo or do you want to wear beach attire and bare feet at a resort? The level of formality will also determine the type of invitations you select and the type of meal that you serve. Do you want to serve a three course sit down roast beef dinner or just hot dogs and bugers off the grill?

How many people do you want in your wedding party? And once again, everytime you add another bridesmaid and/or groomsmen, the cash register rings because you have to purchase another bouquet or boutonniere and thank you gift.

The theme and/or season of your wedding. Do you want a spring theme using pinks, blues, lavenders, and yellows? Or would you rather get married in the fall using the colors of gold, burgundy, and brown?

Do you want a professional photographer and a band? Or do you want a friend to take some photographs and hire a disc jockey for two or three hours?

Determine where and what type of honeymoon you want? Do you want to spend all your money on the wedding and reception or do you want to direct a portion of that money towards a nice honeymoon?

Determine how much or how little you want your parents to become involved with the wedding planning? And do they have the time or genuine interest to help?

Weddings are all about DECISIONS . and many of those decisions are difficult.

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Go to your local library or book store and get some wedding planning books or magazines. Check out sites such as www.weddingguide.co.uk www.hitched.co.uk It is your day so u may include or exclude whatever you wish! A rehearsal dinner is held after the wedding rehersal so that the main people involved in the day can get to know each other, personally i didn't have one cause every1 already knew each other. Never heard of the brides lunch sorry! Gd luck

Start by remembering that literally all you need to get married is a groom, a license, and an officiant. The rest is only as complicated (and expensive) as you choose to make it.

If you choose to have a wedding, then run, don't walk, to a bookstore or library and find copies of "Bridal Bargains" (Denise Fields) and "Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior" (Judith Martin). Read these from cover to cover before going to Modern Bride or the knot or any other commercial mags/sites that will try to tell you that you "need" all sorts of ridiculous fripperies. Then you're ready.

Happy planning!

I was pretty clueless myself, but I found the best way of coping was to pick up a book and start reading. I'm guessing you're from the States (I'm from the UK), so unfortunately I don't have any particular titles I can recommend for you.

Other than that, get talking to people who have been through the process already. You'd be suprised at how many friends and relatives you can find with useful suggestions.

As I am sure many people have said, definitely go to theknot.com. You can make a wedding web page and everything. Don't forget about picking your colors, gift for your attendants, finding the location for ceremony and reception, your dress, shoes, alterations, bridemaids dresses, their flowers, your flowers, flower girl, ring bearer, favors, bird cage, guest book, etc. It's a lot of work, but fun! Good luck and congrats!

Start: date ,Venue, guest list, catering, who's in the Bridal party, seating arrangements, cake, flowers, cars, I think that's got you started, oh yeh, photographer because lets face it that's what you are left with a video and/ or photos!!

I'm not marrying any time soon, but I think you can look at a lot of wedding pictures, even if it's just online. I think those things can give you inspiration.

martha stewart's designs might seem expensive, but I still think you can at least look at them for inspiration.

www.marthastewart.com

get some bridal magazines. They explain everything and have lists that you can pull out and good ideas. Also look on www.brides.com and www.theknot.com for lists and timelines and stuff