I have to fart really bad, but it won't come out!?

Put your feet behind your ears,pinch your nose shut, close your mouth really tight, close your eyes, now push very hard with your feet, and blow real hard. OOOPPPS forgot stuff some playdough in your ears. This should give you relief. If it doesn't make you fart you will pass out and when you are relaxed while passed out it will happen. No thanks needed just glad to help out. Did it help?If not try drinking a glass of salt water with a twist of onion. Don't be alarmed when you fart though. it will sound like a steam whistle but that is just because of the onion.

I should be so lucky. I am nearly 50 years old I have never been able to stop farting. If I take a step I fart, if I bend over I fart, if I blink I fart, if I make a left turn I fart, a right turn I fart. I have been kicked out every church I went to. I spent a lot of money and time going to school to become a lawyer, it took many years to complete because I was kicked out of all of the law schools because of my disorder. (At last I made it by taking online classes) Guess what though. Yep, I always get kicked out of the court room, and they declare a mistrial for my clients. Been married 12 times and not 1 of those lasted more than 2 weeks. Now do you still think you have it so bad? Oh my God!!! that one really stinks!!!!

a hot drink like tea is very good at getting your gases moving.

or you could try excercising. a couple of sit ups might do the trick.

then your constipated, drink apple juice, grape juice and take some asprin with it. You'll either be farting or pooping in no time

Push Harder...youve got to really make it come out

That's lady like have some windeze from your local chemist.

Do what the mathematician did

Work it out with a pencil

its probaly caught crossways it happens all to often

Charming.....

coffee and exlax might work