Singles: Who picks up the check?

I am 39 and married, but this was an issue when I was single and dating. If my dates were hesitant about the check I would pull out a quarter and offer to flip them for the check. It was a great icebreaker in what can often be an awkward moment.

I do agree that if a man asks me out it is proper for them to pick up the check, but I also understand how badly we have confused the men with the feminist movement and the feminazis have not made things any easier.

The only thing setting the women's movement back is the attitude of some of the women. The women's movement was never supposed to be about setting one standard by which all women must act and/or be treated. It was about giving us choices; the choice of whether to work or be a stay-at-home mom, the choice of whether to have a door opened for us or to open the door for someone else, and the choice of whether we pick up the check, have it picked up for us, or split the check, among others.

In short, be who you are, that is what the women's movement was supposed to be about; the freedom for men and women to be who they are and not worry about what some misguided concepts say they should be.

I'm old school (over 40). Therefore, the man should always pick up the check, especially if he asked the woman out. At the very least, he should offer to pay. It just seems like the right thing to do.

This is how I was taught, whomever does the asking pays for the first date. This is usually the man but it doesn't have to be. However, since no one is on the same page, I would wait until the check arrived and ask cheerfully if he wanted to pay or if we should split the check. And I would be totally open to either solution. Of course, if I had done the inviting, I would offer to pay the whole bill. I'm 41.

Allowing a man to be a gentleman does not set the woman's movement back. That's why you hear people complain about the Feminazi's. Now, if a woman is taking advantage of someone, that is different.

When 2 people are in a committed relationship, its perfectly ok to take turns. You both have budgets that are familiar to each other. In a new relationship, early dating, the man should pick up the tab. If he can't afford to take you out, he should not have asked.

I am an old fashioned 38yr old.

I'm only 16, but I just saw this question on the Tyra Show yesterday. A matchmaker guy was on it, and he said that chivalry is back and the man picks up the check. If he does nothing, offer to pay for half, and then dont go out with him again.

I'm 28, I think that if he asks you out he should pay. I think that if you ask him out and when the check comes if he says he still is gonna pay I say great! If not there is nothing wrong with paying if you asked him. Also there is nothing wrong with going dutch. I don't think having the man pay is putting us back in the woman's movement at all.

In the USA, a gentleman who asks a lady out should expect to pay. If the outing is to be "dutch treat" or it is a group outing where each person pays his/her own way, the gentleman should be very, very clear that he is not offering to sponsor the lady, but only telling her that she is welcome to join in at ther own expense.

Don't think of it in terms of "proving you are equal" etc. Think of it in terms of "weeding out" those gentlemen who aren't interested enough to sponsor you to a sandwich. If you don't intend to see the gentleman again, then you might insist on leaving the tip. Otherwise, a lady who sees a gentleman on a fairly regular basis knows when it is her turn to provide a pair of theater tickets or "just happen" to have a gift card for a restaurant.

I'm a retired professional lady who is still dating ;) and very much a feminist.

I am 58 today. I was recently been in the dating scene again after a 20-year hiatus.

If he asks me out, I say upfront, "I don't feel comfortable with you paying my tab." Or I say, "you pay for dinner, I'll get the movie, OK?"

If he says-"It's a date-I'm asking you" then I say "ok."

If he says "there is a cool play, you want to go?" I say "Is this a DATE?" if he says yes, he pays.

This time.

Next time, I pay or we don't go out again.

If I invite him, I pay. Or I offer to feed him at my house next.

I do not feel comfortable with a man/woman paying for every move we make. He needs to know from the get-go that I am not "typical," whatever that is.

If he wants an equal relationship with a grown-up independent person , then he wants to spend time with me. If he wants arm-candy or a mooch, he needs to go elsewhere.

I won't tolerate a mooch or a control freak or even someone "traditional" so it works fine.

I'm 31, and I expect a man to pay if he asked me on the date. If I ask him someplace, then I expect to pay but hope he will offer as well. I dated a guy last year who I took turns with. One day he would pay, next date I would. But that got old since he made waay more than me, and I couldn't keep up.

I'm 19, and I think it's nice if a guy picks up the check once or twice, but I definitely feel much more comfortable when we split the check.