Gayness caused by sexual trauma?

I am 23 years old and I came out as a lesbian when I was 19. I had been involved with girls since I was 14/15 right around I got into highschool. My mother refused to believe it because I am so feminine. I have a twin sister who is straight and she was actually sexually assaulted when she was 12 by her teacher. She is completely straight. I however am not and I was never abused and had a happy childhood and never had any reason to mistrust men or women for that matter. The teacher who molested my sister was a woman. I don't know what else to tell your friend. I am not confused about my sexuality and have no reason to be at all. I had a stable father in my homw. Not biological but he might as well have been because he's been in my life since I was 2 years old. Is that a good enough explanation for your friend?

Okay the best way of explaining this without going into some sort of over fluted essay is: Sexuality is not always a black and white e.g gay or straight issue. In fact if the truth be known for most of us it is alot more shades of grey then we would care to admit. Some people respond to childhood traumas by either going through phases or even long term 'gay' relationships. This is not to say all people who are gay have been traumatised any more than all people who have been traumatised are gay! Do you see where I'm going with this. Sometimes you need to look at the wider picture instead of always looking for narrow and restrictive definitions others feel comfortable with!

Obviously, not everyone who is bi or transgendered has been traumatized. It is very unfortunate that the statistics are so high though...

It seems like your friend is very close minded... that's to bad...

I hope that the answers on here help to make her realize that not all gays or bi or trannies are sexual deviants or confused due to trauma. Genetics plays a huge role, and I don't care who wants to argue that away. I come from a family where about 1/6 of the members are gay!!!!! So I hoe that helps!!!

Good luck changing your friends perspective!

Oh dear - it's your friend who has unresolved issues. If she were able to accept homosexuality as a preference that occurs naturally, only less frequently than heterosexuality, then she would not need to look for an event that triggered it.

Your friend's notion supposes that homosexuality is a reaction, and not a rarer, natural set of preferences. If a minority of people liked the colour blue, while the vast majority preferred red, would this indicate that the smaller group had somehow been traumatised by abnormal kaleidoscope usage as a child? I think not.

It's actually quite arrogant to characterise a group of people as damaged, simply because they make choices that are different to mainstream social norms.

I've never been sexually abused, but I find myself attracted to people, rather than sexes. Conversely, there are huge numbers of people who HAVE been abused who are completely straight. So if your friend is looking for actual evidence that homosexuals are somehow damaged, rather than mere hypotheses and wishful-thinking, I'm afraid she needs a new angle.

I think that when people are gay and sexualy abused, that is just a coincidence. I believe that orientation and sexuality do not have anything to do with been sexualy abused. There are many straight people who have been sexualy abused, including men and did not become gay because of that. Additionaly, there are many gay people who were never sexualy abused. Furthermore, I am gay and I have never been sexualy abused. All in all, sexual trauma and orientation are not necesarily linked. It's just that coincidence happens sometimes. But you are who you are since you are born.

I messed with a friend... I would not classify "sexual trauma" and I'd BARELY even call it "sexual"... I don't know what exactly I felt for him since I didn't even know what I was doing, we were just friends.

Yeah what I'm saying is that I messed with a guy friend before I really had any idea I was gay, I don't know, this is hard to explain.

I was raped and beaten after discovering that I was gay. In fact, the trauma was probably twelve years after I started questioning and three years after I fully accepted my sexual orientation. With her way of reasoning, wouldn't the experience have made me straight?

Mine's the same situation as "prainva." I've never been molested or sexually abused in any way, but I'm gay.

I've led a normal life, I think. Nothing traumatic. Hell, I knew I was gay before I even SAW another man naked. Go figure.

I have never ever ever been molested or sexually traumatized, and I am 100% gay!