please make us laugh finishing this sentence.." If it wasn`t for you i.................?

IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU...

If it wasn't for you

I'd have worn my old shoes.

When I went to the closet to get them,

I found they weren't there

and I searched everywhere,

but I hadn't a clue where I set them.

So I wore my new shoes

with the heels that were glued

by some factory worker in Hong Kong.

And I han't a clue

that a break in my shoe

would result in some burglar's swan song.

He was running my way

and my heel saved the day

but resulted in his sad demise.

He had stolen some loot

and the cops in pursuit

were closing on him from all sides.

The mask the guy wore

as he ran from the store

looked like stockings pulled over his head.

They were long pantyhose

pulled down over his nose.

The legs flapped in the wind as he fled.

As I walked down the street

with new shoes on my feet

the heel on the left side broke off,

and about three feet back

it got stuck in a crack

of the sidewalk the thief ran across.

He tripped on it there

and he flew in the air

as his poor feet flew out from behind him.

Then the nylons got caught

in a tree branch that brought

a hard bump from the tree that would bind him.

When the cops had all fled

to the tree he was dead.

The collision had broken his neck.

And it all had to do

with some glue on a shoe!

I can tell you I was quite a wreck.

So next time you take my old shoes

would you please

not take any pair that you choose?

If you could just ask

I'd be up to the task

of giving you some I don't use.

Then a robber won't bother

to trip on a heel when he steals

and then fall over dead,

when his pantyhose sticks

in the branch of a tree

which then causes him to hit his head!

If it wasn't for you

and that damnable shoe

and all of the damage it's done,

I'd have gone on my way

and just had a nice day....

And this story would not have begun!!

If it wasn't for you I would be rich

my life would run without a hitch

the car I drive would be brand new

not held together with string and glue

my holidays would be in Spain

not Blackpool in the splatty rain

my clothes would all be tailored brands

not charity shops and second hands

but is it right to be so sore..?

who is to blame,why are we poor..?

married when we both were young

kids and mortgage came along

and so........is it all so bad..?

still together.....mum and dad

what would we do,our time again..?

I guess we d do the very same.....

If it weren't for you, I'd probably be living in a semi in the northwest of the UK and would have abandoned the subjunctive long ago.

"If it wasn`t for you, I would have gotten away with it, you meddling kids!" said old man Willoughby to the Scooby Doo Gang.

could rule the world!"

Then pull your cape over your face, laugh maniacally and run away to the sound of a pipe organ.

If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have a reason to lock poor Bob in the cellar ;-)

xx

would have used my delicate purple wings to fly away, but you caught hold of the bottom of my dress and now I'm laying in a muddy puddle!! x

would still have 2 ears and a nose

free will baby.... we do it to ourselves. i take it you mean colonel sanders so technically theyre all watchin us with a bucket of chicken each. mmmmm battery chicken goodness

would be jumping over sheep in the nearest farm!