Does women's inability to understand cause and effect explain why so many choose guys who beat them?

You're right, some don't understand the red flags (warning signs)...and some are fooled into believing that he won't be like that with them. (Often times the beginning of the relationship is very blissful. And once the abuse starts, there are periods of "good times" in between each episode of abuse, and the escalation of it is usually slow, which leads a person to believe that maybe it really won't happen again.) And some actually think that if they show unconditional love, that he'll show it in return. Does this mean they deserve the abuse? Some (most, probably) of these women have trouble reading the warning signs because they don't know or have never been around a "normal relationship." They've nothing to compare it to. Still others have very low self esteem, or have been abused before (perhaps as children), and feel like they are just "lucky" that someone actually wants them. They may not know what real love is, but feeling wanted makes them feel loved. Acts of extreme jealousy or possessiveness (things most of us would consider as red flags in a relationship) might be interpreted as signs of love. It's not that these women are stupid, it's that they are unaware or they are numb.

Edit: Many really don't see it coming, and by the time it actually happens, they've fallen in love. And love is a powerful thing...it can keep a person trying to improve things for a very long time. Fear can also keep a person from leaving an abusive relationship. Most women's deaths that occur at the hands of an intimate partner occur during the one year period following a separation from that person. Most women in abusive relationships come to understand the risk involved in trying to get out in one piece. Some choose to live with the abuse rather than to risk being killed if they leave. Lot of factors also go into the reasons why women stay. The longer a person is abused, the more psychologically and emotionally he/she is incapacitated. Depression and anxiety can be extreme, and debilitating. It can cloud judgment even further. Unfortunately I know more about this subject than I ever wanted to. I'm a survivor of an abusive relationship.

Edit: I understand what you are saying, but look at it this way: those women don't know that they are running blindfolded across that interstate...and the reasons they don't know are not their fault. This is not to say that awareness can't be taught or that therapy is futile. On the contrary, with intervention, support and treatment, women can learn to recognize the danger signals, and can learn to stop the pattern or cycle of becoming involved with abusive men.

Not all girls think this is acceptable. Or, at least, not on an intellectual level. The more I read about anthropology, the more I become aware of what women have evolved to expect from a man (essentially the ability to provide and protect her and her family.) For this reason, women often vie for the attention of one, very high-status male and pour scorn over those who lack the power, intelligence or ambition to 'bring home the spoils of the hunt' (or money, in our modern society.) They often don't mean to be cruel or hurtful and aren't consciously deciding to be. It's just hard-wired in their nature to be this way, just as you might not give an ugly, fat girl a second look. The way to avoid this is to become successful and independent, then they won't dare mess you around.

More often than not, abusive men also have control issues, and are very manipulative. Often times, there is a "honeymoon" phase (that get's repeated in the cycle of abuse), where the woman is reigned in with a lot of sweet talk. These type of controlling men are very adept at picking "victims" with low self esteem that are much easier prey for them.

Eventually, though, the man begins to exert more control over the woman, and this control is punctuated and reinforced with violence.

Further, many women who experience long term, cyclical abuse develop a disorder called "battered women's syndrome", which is a form of post traumatic stress syndrome and is afforded its own ICD-9 code. Once a person has sunk to this level, it's often difficult fo them to get out of an abusive relationship because they have been isolated and totally subjugated by their abuser.

Lastly, domestic abuse isn't relegated to "thugs". It pervades all sorts of socio-economic levels.

Frankly, it sounds like you have made a lot of assumptions here. The dynamics of an abusive relationship are much more complex than that you have assumed them to be.

I understand where you are coming from with your question, but I would strongly suggest you educate yourself more about domestic violence. I have provided a link for an excellent website below.

Interesting question.

If perhaps the woman 'chooses' the man before he shows any of these signs, is it therefore her 'choice' to be beaten?

Or maybe it is clever deception on the mans behalf.

Are all woman beaters 'not too bright?' Some may be quite intelligent men, in fact I do believe that wife beaters come from all walks of life.

I agree that womens choices can be wrong but please tell me which actions cause a woman to be beaten?

Many women nowadays have a very low threshold for boredom. The Confident Exciting Dangerman is fun and spontaneous. Nice Guys are dull, predictable, and don't offer much in the way of drama.

As long as women find attempts to change the thug more interesting than trying to spice up the more introverted types, expect the reign of abuse and cheating to continue.

Well ya know, most males do not become domestic abusers until after they marry the female. As well, abusive males have very low self esteem, and need to use both psychological and physical abuse to degrade the woman, which gives them the feeling of superiority. The first time a woman is hit by a male she should put him out of her life. Finally, this issue is being strongly addressed with law enforcement, and if a woman notifies law enforcement, she cannot withdraw her complaint. The guy is arrested, and most of the time an order of restraint is issued.

No, there's a difference between women and women that stand for an abusive relationship. Someone like me wouldn't end up in an abusive relationship for two reasons. I wouldn't choose someone that is like that and they wouldn't choose me. The women that stand for it are emotionally and mentally vulnerable, they are brainwashed into thinking that they deserve it or that it's normal. In the same way the abusive partners have mental problems and they prey on the women that are vulnerable.

The absuive thug wouldn't choose a normal woman because (like me) if they tried anything on they'd get worse back and then land up in jail. But thye know that there are womne that will stand for it and will stay with them for years.

Yes. I believe. Some women are really dumb.

I've seen someone married 3 times, and still looking...

The good way of saying it is : the women were very kind hearted, positive (thought that all men will treats them well), and always 'hope' (hope the man will change etc).

But the basic is, where is the wisdom God has given them ? They didn't use it.

I will add more to this answer as soon as I can but this is a TWO way street.

I know of few conflicts betweent two adults that BOTH do not add to it.

Also according to unbasied research, women are as abusive as men and when only one of them hits the others....72% of the time...it is women who does the hitting.

Edit: Patois said: " men who are violent with men are four times as likely to be violent with a woman."

Do you have a source for this misandry or is it from the same source as the Superbowl Sunday myth? Your double standards are as evident as water would be in the middle of the ocean.

Your solution for domestic violence sounds like the solution the KKK has for racial violence. The big problem with this, is that radial feminsit have convinced society that this is what is needed. After two decades and several billion dollars, domestic abuse has not been resolved, if anything it has gotten worse...but the solution of course it to pour more money into it but give it to ONE side only. If we put this into racial terms, we would be passing a violence against Whites act and only invite the KKK to the table to write the laws. If Blacks complained, they would be arrested. If they tried to resist an attack they would also be arrested. Of course then we would need to give the KKK even more money to resolve their attacks and the beat would go on and on and on.

In reality, the only way to resolve the conflict would be to listen to both sides but leave the radicals such as the KKK and the Black Panthers out of it.

Regarding the VAWA....NO one other then the radical feminst were allowed to give imput.

Until we listen to ALL our people...and VALUE all of them...we will not resolve this problem...but we will make it worse!

Women have the same ability to understand things that men do. But we feel things more. I think in this particular case it's hope and love that keeps them coming back for more abuse. Two very misdirected, but very real emotions.