Can a transgender person ever really be happy?

1. Yes, a trans-person can be happy.

2. Yes, I think we're on this earth to learn... but not just to love ourselves and others, but to be happy and gain knowledge.

3. Yes, I think we're born as "god" made us.

4. Yes, we can't love ourselves if we're trying to change ourselves.

5. Yes, there's nothing wrong with being gay.

6. Yes, there's nothing wrong with being who you are.

7. Yes, an operation doesn't change your genes.

8. Yes, it's impossible to be other than what you are.

9. Yes, doctor's aren't helping when they enable.

10. Yes, a surgery cannot make you love yourself.

Now that we've established those points...

ANYONE can be happy in life. BUT in order to be happy, one has to be true to one's self, has to be treated as they feel they should be treated-- with respect.

I don't know about anyone else, but I am not treated the way I want to be treated... I am treated as a woman, and that is disrespectful to who I know I am inside. I cannot be happy until I am treated as a man, which is respecting who I know I am inside.

We're put on this pretty, floating rock for Frig knows what reason, but I believe it to be so we can LEARN. And it seems to me there needs to be a little bit of learning here... Original Poster, you seem to think that we should love ourself for who we are... But you miss the point that being trans isn't going against who and what we are! My being transsexual and getting hormones and surgery is helping me be who I am, not turning me AWAY from who I am. You also seem to think we do whatever because we hate ourselves... Again, just my experience, but I am doing all this out of love and respect for myself, not because I HATE myself.

We are, as far as I'm concerned, born trans. And if this is true, which science if coming closer to proving every day, then people need to start realizing that we ARE born as "god" made us... Just as gays are born as "god" made them, just as people with birth defects are born as "god" made them. We're not abominations, and we're not freaks or mistakes. We're PEOPLE.

Trans-people can't learn to love themselves if they try and change themselves... many do try to change who and what they are through denial, forcing themselves into a closet, going to church (to "get right with God" or whatever) and trying to force themselves to be "normal". Original Poster, getting surgery and taking hormones isn't trying to "change yourself"... Trying to pretend you don't need it and are happy as you are is trying to change yourself! Hormones and surgery are simply tools to make you look how you feel inside... tools to help you be who you are.

Being gay is fine. There's nothing wrong with being gay. But sexuality and gender are two different things! The former is how you're attracted to other people, the latter is how you see yourself and how you want others to treat you/see you. I'm a female-to-male transsexual... and I am gay. I like men, always have. I didn't become a transsexual because I couldn't "just be gay". Trans-people can be gay, bi, straight, asexual... anything and everything.

As for genes, no, surgery cannot change those. But consider this... some males have XXY genes yet are fully male. So, are they "real men" or are they "women"? And now, scientists have discovered than men and women have differently wired brains, and that some men have brains wired like women, and some women have brains wired like men. So, who's what? Genes aren't everything. Surgery can't change your genes, but genes alone do not define who and what you are, no more than having a penis or vagina changes who and what you are.

Doctors do not help any patient if they enable them... But a doctor prescribing hormones or performing surgery are not "enabling" anything. Being trans isn't a delusion, and saying that shows a distinct lack of understanding, education and/or compassion. As I said, surgeries and hormones are tools to help someone feel more like themselves. Someone has to go through a ton of therapy to even get a CHANCE to take hormones, and even more to get a CHANCE to get surgery... It's not like you can just waltz around and order it on the fly... it takes years of soul searching and tons of money. This PREVENTS people with screws loose (as you seem to think trans people are) from getting something they might regret.

Either way, we come back to the same point. Trans-people aren't trying to be something they aren't... they are trying to be themselves, and SOMETIMES they try to get their body to match who and what they are inside. No, not every trans person gets hormones and/or surgery and yes, some people do regret getting it done, but it is NOT a delusion and it's NOT an attempt to "change" one's self.

We can't change who we are. That's why we're trans.

Cheers.

Of course I can be happy... I can be so happy I can even be gay! I'm an FTM and I'm bi, but I like effeminate male gays best. They never used to like me, because I've got a female body, and now it's not an issue anymore because I'm married to a wonderful MTF (who likes girls more than guys), but w/e.

People treat people differently based on whether they're male or female, and it's possible for women to have had too much testosterone while they developed and hence have a 'male' brain, etc.

There might be some gay people out there that get sex changes in order not to be gay (quite a lot of them in Iran, I hear, where the government pays for half of the surgery), but not all transpeople are gays or lesbians unwilling to be seen as gay.

First of all, not all transgender people are gay. A man may be attracted to women while also feeling like he is one himself, for example. So it's not as simple as "allowing yourself to be gay".

I think many of the people who have a sex change do it in order to be accepted and treated for who they are, not what they are. Everyone has their own personality and some are more unusual than others and don't fit in all the roles and "boxes" other people try to fit them into. People can be quite harsh and cruel towards those who are different and that can be hard to live with. That's why many people, including transgendered people, feel like they're not allowed to show their real self and be who they are. They also don't get treated the way they would like to. Men and women are treated very differently, usually according to stereotypes about each group. Try to put yourself in their shoes and imagine what your life would be like if everybody treated you as if you were the opposite gender of your biological one, assuming stuff about you and ridiculing you when you don't fit their idea of what you should be like.

I think you need to be less judgemental. You haven't walked a mile in their shoes. You don't know what they really feel like. You don't understand their problem, you see it through your eyes, not theirs.

Transsexualism isn't a delusion; it isn't 'not accepting that we're gay'; it isn't a choice, a whim, a mental illness, a sexual fetish, or a sin.

It's a congenital medical condition; it causes considerable pain and distress; it's responsible for the untimely death of thousands of people a year. For centuries, there was no treatment available, or offered. Now, it IS treatable; there is an effective treatment for this condition that allows people born transsexual to lead normal, happy, fulfilling and productive lives. Granted, the results are imperfect; we can't reproduce, many of us will always look a little different, and it's painful, dangerous and expensive; but it's the best (and for transsexual people, the ONLY) treatment available.

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There's nothing wrong with being who we are.

We are quite happy for YOU to be who YOU are.

All we ask is that we are allowed the same courtesy.

Well, I'm a male in a female's body. And I'm sexually attracted to men. So on the surface I look like a straight woman (how I've lived my life). But I don't think like a woman, woman's things don't interest me (beauty, fashion, makeup, etc). I think more like a man. I feel lacking when having sex though I"ve adored my partners. I feel something lacking and have since I was 4 yrs old. So if I transition, I will be a gay male. And society would likely hate me more.

I think that the best way to understand someone who has opposing views, beliefs or outlooks in life to you is to put yourself in their shoes. Why do they think that way? Why are they prepared to sacrifice everything to pursue something they truly believe in, even though others around them may tell them differently?

I have learned alot about the transgendered community and they are as varied and different as individuals as 'gay', 'straight' or any other group label we chose to give people.

Yes there are some people who appear to others as 'sad parodies', but that is the way they chose to protray themselves. It is about how you feel in yourself and this can be an incredibly difficult and painful process, but nevertheless a necessary one for people to go through. They deserve the respect and understanding we would ask others to show us. I am fortunate to have a few transgendered friends and I have seen courage and fortitude on a scale I rarely see in others. They have battled rididule, violence and persecution to become a person they believe is worth fighting for. They are not martyrs or demons. They are human beings with hearts souls and minds just like anyone else. Show some respect even if you can not fully reconcile yourself to what it means to be transgendered.

A recent study in late 2015 indicates that 83% of all transgender people who have transitioned are VERY happy with who they have become...

The world is changing...make a transgender person your friend... ;-)

Why not?

Before we get started on the whole transsexual part of your question, let's make one thing clear.

So are you ready for this?

Here it is:

Loving yourself as you are, is not just loving yourself. It's LEARNING to love yourself.

You might not like who you are, but you overlook some aspects of your appearance (in the case of transsexuals) and focus on the good parts of your being. Of course, this is the perfect and most appropriate situation.

Now, if you are not satisfied with your appearance and want to change that, it doesn't mean you love yourself any less. It just means you love yourself so much that you want to get rid of those 'unlikeable' aspects of your being also. (After all, if you're trying to change what God chose for you, doesn't that mean you're being selfish?)

So, transsexuals not only learn to love themselves, they actually LOVE themselves. See what I mean?

Now for the second part of your question.

What is wrong with being gay? Well, nothing is wrong with it. It's just 'different'. And people fear the 'different' and 'change'. Some homosexuals are afraid of what people will think of them, and hence become transsexuals. That doesn't mean they don't love themselves any less. It just means that they love others also (or at least want to please them).

What is wrong with being who you are? Ah, don't be so obtuse. Don't tell me you don't think about what others would think about you in many (if not all) situations.

Yes, an operation doesn't change your genes, but do people really judge you by your genes? No. That's why people go through surgeries. To fit in. If everyone in the world was not so judgemental, we wouldn't have transsexuals.

A sad parody of the opposite sex? Aren't you biased! You ask if people who change their sex could ever be happy, and you already assume that they are *sad* parodies.

You spelt here wrong.

You can't blame the doctors.

They're professionals doing their jobs fulfilling the demands of their customers.

You can't blame the customers either. They are fulfilling the demands of society. Why can't society accept them for who they are if they accept them themselves? They are compelled to change back to the conventional because they are different.

As for your wanting to be Napolean, well, thanks for sharing your fantasy in a subtle way.

Conclusively, transsexuals can be happy because they are gay, no? (Pun intended).

On the reals though, you should judge transsexauls as human beings and then ask yourself if humans can ever be happy living in their surroundings...

Good question.

First I just want to thank Amanda. What a wonderful answer. The world needs far more people like you. For the question. Yes I would date a trans guy. I doubt I would another trans woman, simply because I am a straight woman. With a trans guy I would not have to try to explain what I have gone through as he has faced the same struggles in life.

Right now, I'm so furious over the things everyone has said about the pregnant man, that I can't logically answer this without emotion getting involved and my answer getting deleted.

I don't think "god" made me anything. I don't believe in "god", and if there was a "god" , then why didn't he make me match? Why did he put me in a position to live life miserable by not being true to myself or my identity?

Maybe try looking at it from a different perspective. I think transition is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I've developed my true personality since going through transition. I'm finally ME. I wouldn't change it for the world.

And I honestly don't give a flying f**k WHAT you or anyone else thinks about it. I am a man. True and True. With all the hassle that I've had to go through just to PROVE that to society should say something in and of itself. You think you know what a "real" man or a "real" woman is? Try going through life as a transman or a transwoman and see how much you come out thinking that you took your own gender for granted.

We've had to deal with discrimination, harassment, denial of basic services or the same quality of services, no employment protections, losing our loved ones, our families, ect..just to be who we are. Some of us have even been killed.

Cisgendered people will NEVER know what's it like, or how much you take your gender privilege for granted. When you can rise up from the things we have and still know deep in your heart you're doing the right then, then I think that's enough to be called a "real" ANYTHING.

I was born a girl. If you cut open an MTFs head and look at her brain, you'll find a girl brain. ...and I'm talking about before any hormones or surgery. It's WHY we feel an unwaivering NEED to be repaired. I want the me on the outside to look like the me on the inside!

I think you need to learn that WHO I am is up in my mind, and in my spirit, not in my crotch! Go ahead and hate me, cause if all you see is walking genitals, I don't want to know you anyway... no matter WHAT gender you or I are!