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Is keeping email contact with your ex-boyfriend after 8 yrs of marriage ok?
Hi I have been married for 8 years. Last year I got in touch with my ex-boyfriend, via email. We had not been in touch for a long time and there were issues that were not settled when we split. We chatted a couple of times and sorted out the misunderstanding. I have told my hubby about whole thing.
I want to know if it is okay to be in touch with your ex. My hubby does not say much but may be he is feeling unsecured. My ex is married too and both of us chat with each other on general issues. Like how to tackle difficult situations with the kids and general things. I have no feelings for him - he is just a casual friend. But sometimes I start feeling guilty. esp when my hubby n myself get into arguments - my hubby passes remarks that indicate that he thinks that I have something going on behind his back. I swear that I have no such thing going on. I also know that I should have no guilt in my mind if I am not doing anything wrong. But I am confused! Please advise and help!
Well thank you so much - all of you. It really helped - I think it is really not worth the hassle. I am very happy with my marriage and don't see the point of ruining it for some guy who cared less.
Thanks a lot!
14 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
For me I think it’s not a good idea sweetie. I know it’s not a big deal if you think about it for a second but still sound like a bad idea in a way. I hope you understand what I mean. God bless.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It may not be a total trust issue as in you having something with your ex, but rather a bit of natural jealousy that you share certain conversations about general things with the ex, that your hubby may feel left out of, remember, even though you are no longer together, there is always a bond there that will be different than the bond you have with your husband and it may naturally bother him. Maybe you should be talking with your husband about these things and just keeping in touch with the ex every six months or year to see whats new, not the detailed conversations.
- stumpedIILv 61 decade ago
I think you need to focus your intimacy on your husband not some former x. I would keep past lovers out of your future life. who knows what kind of pain or resentment this is sticking into your husband. I'd tell my husband i said goodby to the x.. and you have no intention of talking to him again.
your hubby is where your loyalty and devotion should lie.. he should be your best friend.. the one you turn to when your down or in trouble. not some x.
i think you need to explain to your hubby what he means to you..
good luck.
oh and one last thing.. it's not reality that is what matters.. it's the perception your husband has.. THAT is the damage. so reality dosnt matter. Damage is just as severe if your husband percieves it as real.. regardless what the reality is.
how would you feel if he went running to some woman from his past.. everytime you two had an argument.. tell u what.. one time he might not come back. so choose.. your hubby or some x.. (gee i thought u already chose when you said ido?)
good luck
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Firstly, I congratulate because you got your best and understanding friend back. As far as you are comfortable with your hubby there is nothing wrong in conversating with ur boy friend. As he is also married both of them would be in your limits while chatting. Especially, do not get into the personal affair's of his nor yours. I hope the advice would help you to some extent.
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- 5 years ago
Its not wrong have contact with an old ex. If your happily married that there shouldnt be too much worry cause if there is that that means you dont trust your wife which isnt good... You should feel happy that she was open with you about it and didnt try to hide it from you. If your still bothered by it why not try to talk to her about it and ask her why she wants to have contact with him. Not in an accusitory way but a curious way. Also, be open with her about it in everyday conversation such as: How is such and such doing? what do you guys talk about? blah blah blah Not trusting your wife is just going to complicate your marriage.
- kttphoenixLv 51 decade ago
But you are giving the appearance that are. Would you really trust him if he was onlinewith some exgf of his? Im guessing no. You can;t change the past. Any guilt you feel about what happened with this guy needs to stay in that past. Along with this ex. Is he really more important?
- TCSOLv 51 decade ago
I say it is okay as long as the intention is purely for friendship. However, your former boyfriend might want more even when you don't, or, as I learned, the desires of your spouse should override that of your former boyfriend or even you on this issue.
- ?Lv 61 decade ago
not at all advisable when u don't have any feeelings, its not correct,
u r disturbing ur present family, further continued u will ruin it.
better not to be attached online, when not interested.
he can better solve his problems
u will be in soup when he advances further, he may or he may not but still u r only at risk
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Well I say no.Unless it's OK for your hubby to be talking to all his exes.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I guess it is ok as long as you're keeping it as friends. we all need to spice up our lives every once in a while.. but dont go so far!!!