Question for women-Why is it that if I show interest in my ex...?

She's a very mixed up person and more than a little cruel. She feels chased and pressured when you call her and yet on the reverse she's miffed that you have moved on so "easily" when you dont call her. So then she calls you. So she can have an argument with you again.

To be honest she cant seem to live without arguing with you all the time. You cant do anything right, it seems like she needs some one to hate. If she says we are finished when you call her, tape it and play it back to her when she starts saying she misses you etc. She's being very unfair.

Sounds like she is playing with your head. You need to stop calling her and when she calls you remind her that she filed for divorce and should only be calling you with information pertaining to the children. She might get the hint then, and realize that she has made a mistake. If so then you can tell her how you feel, if she filed for divorce while you were in Iraq chances are she was lonely and went looking for something and once found it wasn't all that and she is sorry for doing what she has done to you. As for why she acts like she does when you call her may be because she is confused as to what she wants

She is playing games with you and the more you call her and come running after her, she will continue to play these games with you and your feelings.

For her to file for a divorce while you were fighting for our country says a lot, but you did not mention if you had an affair while serving in Iraq? This happens a great deal more than people wish to discuss, that he men have affairs while serving overseas, and than are surprised when their spouse files for a divorce..

If this is not the case, than was your wife unfaithful while you were away?

Either way this marriage can be saved with 100% ccommitment from both of you, and a lot of therapy with a marriage counselor.

But you also need to take responsibility for your actions and she needs to take responsibility for her actions.

Do not allow this girl to play a cat and mouse game with you, this is demeaning and disrespectful to you..

Suggest marriage counseling to your wife, to salvage this marriage, if she refuses to attend marriage counseling than this marriage is clearly over and you will need to accept her decision and move on.. With no more chasing her, no more phone calls, if she wishes to continue with the divorce, the only obligation you have is to your children that you share together no obligation to this girl..

Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move on.

Thank you for your service to our country.

Best of Luck

For some odd reason, some women cannot stand a guy who chases them, makes them lose respect for the guy, yet at the same time, these same women hate rejection. I have a friend that is like this. When a guy treats her good, calls her, pleads with her to come back, she tells me "I can't stand him, he grosses me out". Then when he leaves her alone, treats her bad and does not want anything to do with her, she panics, she even cries and begs the guy to take her back. I can understand how confusing this can be for a guy. She is sending mix signals. What I found out through this friend of mine that does this to guys, she said she hates rejection because her father, even though he spoiled her, he had also left her mothe for another womanr and abandoned her in her childhood. Yet, she seeks a man who is stong and mean like her dad so that she can somehow see a replacement for her father. It is crazy, it is obvious this woman of yours needs extensive therapy.

It sounds like she might be bi polar or something, seriously. I think that as hard as it might be, you need to move on without her.

She is trying to control you. By continuing to call her when SHE wants and paying attention to her when SHE wants, she still has control. She likes that she can mess with your emotions and she might be very confused herself.

You deserve better than that though. You need to care of yourself at this point, so that you can continue to be a good dad to your children.

Next time she wants some attention, IGNORE her. Talk to her only about things relating to the children. Don't let her keep this hold over you!

Shawn, it sounds like she's in it for something............money maybe? It also sounds to me that this female is "bi-polar-

Maybe try stopping to have any conversations with her, except where the kids are concerned. Why not file for full custody of the children?

NO, NOT ALL women are like her! She does have a mental disorder and is up to getting something other than a divorce from you.

i say is better to just leave her alone. Eventually she willcome to sense. I did it with my ex-husband. he left in sept out of state cuz of problems. I beggedhim to come back in december. I treated him like crap when I felt like it. I admit it. and when I felt like it I would visit him. Now I have a boyfrind nd we are going our separate ways. I admit I was wrong and I feel bad but he made mistakes too. (long and complicated story) Neway i know it is hard for you but I still think it would be best choice. Don't chase her! Let her suffer a bit. If for the good of both of you.

She is playing games, she doesnt want you. Her calling/texting/kissing you is for her own ego! She wants to know she can still have you if she wants you. Seems she has you on the back burner, just in case!

My Husband is doing the same thing to me!! Don't fall for any of it just talk to her about the kids only! She will just break your heart all over again! Good Luck

She is playing games with you! She obviously needs to know she can still have you, but when she has you she doesn't want you! Leave her alone! She isn't worth all that emotional pain! Focus on your children and let her find someone else to play with!