Do you consider yourself dominate or submissive in your relationships?

Interesting, but I think my response might have a lot to do with how I personally understand what the terms 'dominant' and 'submissive' mean in a long term relationship.

If submissive means, do I submit to my partner's will in all things, then 'no'. I am an independent person and like to do things my way, based on a lifetime of experience and learning. I'm certainly not handing that over to someone else. They have their own life.

If it means do I 'submit' to my partner's opinion on subjects about which I know little, then yes. Conversely, on subjects where I am the more knowledgable, I take the lead.

An example is making travel arrangement. I am a much better planner in this area, so I make the arrangements.

However, when it comes to buying materials for our home based business my partner is experienced and a great bargainer, so I take a back seat in those transactions.

Everyone has their areas of expertise, and sharing the knowledge is a worthwhile contribution anyone can make.

In my personal life at all levels I don't like a lot of fuss and drama, so I tend not to make a big issue out of small things, and this may come across as being 'submissive' in some ways to friends and family.

But anyone who knows me knows where the line is. And people who don't know me soon find out if they cross it :-)

I believe in having equal relationships with people at all levels, including my work colleagues. Someone may have more education than I do, or more experience, but I have expertise in areas they don't. That is why they need the work I do as much as I need the work they do.

Team work is important in all relationships, as is valuing everyone for what they can bring to the table. I don't want people around me who want to rule over me or wait on me. Let them pull their own weight.

Cheers :-)

I never asked myself this question, as it varies, although I would not call it dominance or submissivness.

In a relationship, at least from my experience, is not about dominating or telling someone what to do and think, and I hate when someone tries to tell me how to live my life. Two people are together, because they accept each other, what is the point of accepting someone and then expecting that he/she does just as we wish?

So no in this aspect I would not be dominant at all, but, if something is very important for me, and I need the cooperation from a partner, I will try to convince through motivation, not manipulation, or command.

I really hate to fight, so, I don't need to be right all the time, and I don't feel I lose my dignity because of this, in this sense I would be more submissive (although the use of dominance and submissivness is bothering me). But I have left relationships in the past, because someone was trying to dominate me, I belive just a Josh said, in a team work, two companions, facing at the same direction without losing their own individuality.

In my profession, I am also not dominant, but I have to direct people, as I create for the theater, therefore I have to direct, but I am always open to other points of views, or ideas. So let's say I am a democratic choreographer/director.

Global Feminist interested in Human Rights

To dominate or to be submissive, feels more as being part of an unhealthy relationship to me, a co-dependant relationship, perhaps this is why the terms bother me.

Not a feminist, per se.

In my personal relationships, it's kind of a mix. I'm not very good at 'doing what I'm told,' though I am good at listening to opinions (especially from a partner, since I'd respect their views, anyway... that's why they're my partner!) I'm also not fond of having to tell someone what to do.

In relationships, I'm very 'hands off,' as far as trying to tell someone how to live/act/talk/think/whatever. Just not interested. If I feel a person needs this in their life, I'm generally not interested in partnering with them. Meet the person, raise kids later, if it comes to that. Not 'find someone to mold and raise, then have kids by them.' Not that I'm particularly sold on the idea of kids, anyway.

No, if I have to choose a dominant or submissive role, I don't want the relationship. Teamwork or nothing. Each person does their thing, and both enjoy/respect/admire each other for who they are and the way they live, already.

I only want to partner with someone who is ALREADY the kind of person I want to partner with. The two should natively compliment each other. Yes, every relationship takes a little work to compliment each other in many ways, but if you don't already know that, and aren't geared to try to cooperate on each person's own, then you're in the wrong place for the wrong reasons.

And if you disagree with that, fine, but we won't be dating, you know?

EDIT: I want to sound off on this offhand use of 'dominant' vs 'submissive' as if they were golden rules. The willow lays down to the wind, so that it may flourish, and become a wall against the wind. Is this dominance? The willow changes the environment it flourishes in, so other water plants may catch and take root in the lake. Is this dominance? Is this submissiveness? Certainly, it is hard to equate the behavior of humans to the reproductive strategies of plants... but is it?

The most successful, fulfilling relationships are ones where the people natively compliment each other. Dominance and submissiveness are strategies of cohabitation and conflict avoidance/resolution, so that each individual can get what they want out of the relationship. So is that not just a particular type of synergy? Biologically speaking, is this any different from reproductive strategies in plants?

Depends on the circumstance. Professionally, I'd rather not be low man on the totem pole, but I have no real desire to be the boss either - and I usually have jobs where I work alone, so having a boss isn't a real issue anyway.

In relationships, I can take it or leave it. I'm fine with being dominant - but if the other person is pushing their own need for dominance, then I don't see any need to fight about it. If it's what they want, then that's fine as well. It's just not so important to me that I need to push myself forward. After all, being easy-going isn't a weakness. It's simply about knowing what's worth fighting for - and for me, dominance (and submissiveness) don't make the list.

Zoologist

Dominant

Egalitarian

I don't think dominant or aggressive are very accurate terms for me. "Assertive" is probably better, because I'm very open about my ideas at work and in relationships, but I'm not aggressive about them. I guess I'm more dominant in some situations and with certain people, and more submissive in other situations (like at a new job) or with people who I don't know very well. I'm a feminist.

Him: the boss

Me: obedient; here we'll agree to disagree submission and obedience are not the same; no biggie.

with kids me: dominate, cause that's my domain; no one messes with my domain. I take a pride in my role as a mother.

Overall: we discuss and guide each other where we can; for instance I encourage him to smile more and think positively. Because of this advice he's made significant changes and for the better.

I'm a student & a nonfeminist. Submissive in relationships with men. Neutral in all other aspects of life but I lean more naturally towards the submissive side.

I say that I am both. I am married and that is how I stay married. Nobody wants to be dominated all the time. I can put my foot down on some issues and he puts his foot down on some issues.

I am a feminist.I believe in equal rights in all aspects for women. Yet, I believe that being a feminist does not mean that I have to be bossy and less than a woman.

I love being soft and sometimes submissive. I love my hubby to pick me up and carry me. I want him to be the proverbial "man" at times. I love for the door to be opened for me . I enjoy cooking and cleaning in my home.

Professionally, I am dominant because I am the "boss lady" Yet in my house, it is equal.

Personal relations- submissive to a degree.

Same with professional relationships.

Friendships are fairly equal.

More of an equalist.