how to get my parents to back off!?

You really need to talk to them about this, you're the person who is going to bring your children up. Go and see them without the children, and tell them how you feel, if you've already tried that, limit the amount of time you spend with your parents.

Just remember, you are the best mom you can be and nothing can change that. My mom can be a real pain too....bring fresh fruit snacks and a sippy of water or juice with you when you visit.....I am sure you will spend a lot of time counting to 10 to calm down over the next few years but it will work itself out. My mom told me the other day that she was really proud of the my parenting and she thought my kids were the greatest - you could have knocked me over with a feather...

Good Luck and hang in there.

if they are your babysitters....find a different babysitter - otherwise - cut down on the time you spend with them - if they want to see the children it can be at your home on your terms - you are the mother and i completely agree with you on the sugar, cloth diapering, sleeping and bottle and i can not stand those people who preach 'let them cry it out'

just tell them what your rules for YOUR children are, and if they can not abide by them - it is their loss - you will not be undermined in front of your children

You need to sit down with your parents and tell them what you are thinking and feeling. It worked for me so im hoping it will work for you.

Cloth nappies are still being used these days and i will let my daughters cry but not for to long.

You really should try and get your daughter to sleep in her own bed as it takes longer the more you let them sleep in the same bed/room as you.

Good Luck

some of the things your parents say are right, but just firmly say to them stop bothering me and telling me how to raise my kids. maybe even say stop it or you wont see them.

If they do not respect you as the mother stop letting them see the kids.

Hi! I sure can tell that you have a problem here!!!! I´m the mom of 6 children and my mom told me to just listen to my heart and it would guide me to me a good parent and look and listen to the baby for reference!

You need to make a choise to take on the battle with your parents or stay the way you are....

A 15 month old is still a baby.. she needs loads and loads of comforting and closeliness... she has no business beeing in a own room yet if this is not what you belive is the best... When she is close to you she is (hmm what is the word for it as if you fill up your car with gas the baby does the same to get her comfort and safetyneeds filled up)

I get very surprised everytime I hear that people think it is ok to let a child cry and nobody picks it up!!! Just put you in that same position!! You need something and these small people do not know if they are safe if they cannot see you!!! They cry to make you aware of that it feels unsafe and that it wants to be held so it knows that its survival is provided for!! Very basic needs!!! But then if you were left to cry your parents can say that you turned out just fine... But turn it around... If you were treated with the respect when you were a baby you wouldnot have this parents issue today... babies that are left to cry develop to become a child who does not listen with their hearts... this is what we teach them by letting them cry... invane... we do not listen to them and they will grow up not listening to us... we do not attend to their needs so they stop giving signals and the trust is broken....

I feel that you know what is best for your children... every "decade" has its own way of bringing up children... I have a motherinalw who does it her way as it was 30 years ago and it drives me crazy!!! we had to make the desicion not ot visit her when the children was small babies... she would feed them candy andfruit juice (By the way it contains just as much sugar as other drinks! plain water is the best drink for small children to save their teeth and I know that in other countries (I live in Sweden in Europe) has more added sugars... but fruit juce has a high level also and should never be given in a bottle it frayes on the teeth! She has brought up 4 children of her own and has the opinion that she knows what is best!!! But this is y children and I know what is best for them!!!

So you need to put down you foot and tell them to stop not trusting you to know how to raise your children! Do they not trust their own child who they brought up??? Ask them if they raised you to not be able to know what is best for your children?

I know this is hard and that you often do depend on parents to be able to cope... Since my motherinlaw did not listen to us we did not visit her.

I find you very smart and even though you probably had your cryingtime alone wondering if the wolf wa sgoing to get you you turned out just fine and this is what you need to focus on.. that you have the right to do it your way and ask them do you think thechildren will be damaged by all the llove and comfort they need when they need it??? can you be spoiled rotten with love??? NO NO NO and NO!!! A child who gets all the comfort and security for their souls will grow up and be gentle, understanding and clever children... And they do walk and talk hen they are ready... my eldest didn´t say a word until she was 3!!! ad when she turned 3 she talked from one day to another and we asked why and she said I didn´t want to!!! my youngest girl now 2,5 years did walk just before she was 18 months... she is a bit careful and was afraid to fall (with lots of brothers running around this is understandable!!!) A child will walk when the spine is straightening the last from the C curve that it is born with... and this can take until they are 24 months and more so there is no need to worry if a child does not walk before 20 months of age...

All of my children have been welcome to sleep with us if they want to... as long as they want to... and can tell that noone is sleeping in my bed after turning 5 (just occationally if ill or when nightmares drive them to)

As this last night I had to emigrate from my bed!!! My husband is very tall and so is all of my children so I felt trapped in a pit of long arms and legs!!! 3 children aged 2,5 5 and 7 had come tipping during the night... I woke with a knee in my back and a little girl on my pillow!!! This is a very short time in life.. soon they will be gone... and all I have left is my empty pillow and lots of space in my bed... It can wait I think.. t comes soon inough.

Our mission as parents is to give our children the tools to cope with life! To teach them to take care of themselves without us beeing around... to live separate from us with comfort and good thaughts about themselves.

I think your parents say too much.... I know it is hard.. you are their daughter and their child it is sometimes hard to let go... even for parents not having small children anymore... So if you ask them if they don t trust you beeing able to take care of your children they didnt do a great job with you????

Listen to you heart... it will lead you.. if you feel that it hurts inside when your baby cries pick it up!! it is talking to you in the only way it can... and crying means Hello I´m here do not forget that i´m here!!! hello is it sure that you will be back??? hello do you hear me??? I´m alone and soon I will need food!!!

What is the backside of confident children as the tend to be when loaded with comfort and love???

Well my children never look back to check if i´m there! They know... So they did not cry when they started to go to childcare!! they just kissed me byebye and went exploring... and I stood there among other parents that had their chilren clining to their legs and crying... my children smiled and waved to me... they know I´ll be back so they need not worry... but I felt like the didn´t care... not a single tear has come from my children when leaving them... in 23 years... either I´m a louzy mother and they think Great now that pesty woman is gone yahoooooooo!!!! or they just go on living and preparing for a life without me.. safe, confident, loving....

You already know the aswer it is inside you.. your parents are doing to you what they think is the best... but they forgot that it is you turn....

Good luck and stay on the path of listening to your children and their needs!! It will pay off in the future and you will be proud of them....

best whishes from Sweden and Sami