Please help. I dont know what to do in this situation.?

Major mistake for you to admit that you read his email.

You have to make a choice. Trust is something you give away. If you want to continue a relationship with your husband you have to choose to either trust him or get out.

The bottom line is that is someone is going to really cheat on you then you cannot stop it. And yes you will get hurt. But giving your trust will always be a gamble. You just have to decide if he is worth the risk. If he is..then drop this. Never go behind him again. It could be that they are just close friends and wanted to say good bye. He hid it from you to avoid a fight. Case closed. If you can't live with that then bring it up. You will drive a MAJOR stake through the heart of your relationship with him. This is about trust and you don't have trust in him. He will KNOW it for sure if you bring this up. You have to make a decision.

Choose to trust him Let it go.

Choose to let him know just how little you trust him. Maybe you guys will survive...maybe not.

You choose.

I understand how you feel... my boyfriend is friends with his ex's too and it's retarded, i have recently told him NO MORE! I don't do it to him but I could start if he would like to know how it feels! So he has put a stop to it!

Okay so my suggestion is... do not tell him you saw the e-mail or know that she's moving or even about the drink thing! Just show up at the coffee shop and act really surprised to see them( don't be mad or mean) Say wow what are you guys doing here? Smile and watch him cringe! If he asks what your doing say you have a headache and did research finding out that some tea would help relax you and help the headache because Tylenol isn't good for you during this time in your pregnancy. Hurry up! Don't miss out on this chance. He will think omg she is psychic or something! If there is anyway to deal with this situation I think this is it! You GO GIRL! GOOD LUCK! let me know how it goes!

I think its time for you to take a big girl pill. His ex wife and he have known each other for a very long time. He didn't tell you because he didn't want to hurt you. Meeting for coffee is completely respectable. If I were you I would get my feelings off my sleeve, and grow up. Tell him that you know about the meeting and its okay so he can say good bye. In the future, become a part of all of his relationships with him -- that way you won't be left out or he won't feel like he has to hide. BTW -- being pregnant probably is making this very hard for you. Those darn hormones can really get in the way. Be brave, you can do this. And it will turn out better than you think. He love you even more.

Dear, dear lady . . . everything is more difficult when we are pregnant. I wish this had happened when you were NOT pregnant, so you could feel like you were really able to weigh things, without hormones getting in the way. (Don't get me wrong--you sound completely rational and logical in your concerns. I am just remembering how hard "things" are when you're expecting. Everything is amplified and hurts worse. Please consider yourself hugged!)

Now this is going to sound fairly juvenile, I'm afraid, but at least thus far, I haven't seen anyone suggest this. One way to get it out in the open would be to "innocently" walk in to the same coffee place, at the time they're supposed to meet. If you think you can pull it off without ever letting on that you knew about it, this may get things out in the open. I'd be very polite, and act like it's not a bad thing (because it may not be).

I do agree this should not be done behind your back. His motives may be pure, however. So very sorry you are having to deal with this right now. I would like to suggest counsel from a trusted pastor, or someone like that.

That is a tough decision to make. Does he know you have access to his e-mail? If not, you can bet he will feel violated that you were snooping. Most guys don't realize that ALL girls snoop. I had a similar situation where I was suspicious abut a girlfriend. I read her e-mail and discovered that she was lying to me. I choose to keep it to myself. I kept asking her questioned about the day just to see how far she would take the lies. She made up more lies to cover the first one and then lies to cover that. I found that keeping it to myself just tore me up inside. I didn't want to give away the fact that I had access to her e-mail. If she knew, she wouldn't use it any more and I would be in the dark always wondering. There is nothing harder in a relationship than a lack of trust. My advice is to talk to him about it. You are married and if you can't re-build the trust, it is never going to last. Don't make a fight about "her", focus on openness and honesty. This may be a good time to go see a marriage counselor.

I hope it all works out for you.

Do you see now where reading other people's private correspondence can lead and the pain and misunderstandings it causes, let alone the lost trust when the injured party finds out that privacy and trust were broken? Unless he has given you express permission to read his e-mails you had no right to go into that account. In fact, to be totally straight with you, it is illegal to unlawfully access somebody elses account. If you have his permission, then that is fine, but without that permission you have invaded his privacy and broken trust with him.

With that said, you have already done the deed. Now, how should you move forward with what you know? Should you risk confronting him and letting him know you read his private correspondence when he is away, or should you instead just suck this up, never let him know you made such a huge misjudgment, never do it again, and let that be your penance for breaking his trust? You know your husband, not us, so you have to decide which option will most help your marriage.

I am not being mean when I write this, I am concerned, and I think that some of your misery you have brought onto yourself. You say the two of you have never felt closer, yet you felt the need to read his email behind his back. Obviously there are trust issues here.

Has he ever given you reason to not trust him or are you bringing events from past relationships into this marriage? You need to consider that you have unfinished business, in the form of emotional trauma from another relationship which you have not resolved, or healed from, and you may now be poisoning your current marriage with that emotional baggage. If he has never given you reason to think he would cheat on you, yet are acting jealous and suspicious on a regular basis, you need to deal with that or you will ruin your marriage.

Here is a website about cheating, jealousy, and other marital issues. It is important for you to separate out old stuff, and not allow it to taint your marriage. If he is innocent and you are treating him as though he has a poor character you will push him away by being unfair to him. Here:

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/living_with_sus...

There are a lot of great topics to the left of the page. Check them out. Here is a website on Fighting Fair. Every marriage has its fights, but how you fight can either sustain or break a marriage. Read up on your fighting styles, and then read up on the rules of fair fighting. Begin to practice and you will soon be healthy in your marriage. Discussions and negotiations plus compromise with fair fighting, true listening and hearing your spouse, will nurture your marriage and make it stronger. A healthy, happy, vital and loving marital bond between your child's parents is the best gift you can give your children. Your marriage must always come first, and the children second. If you do not have a marriage the children are deeply harmed.

http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighti...

The healthier both spouses are the healthier the children will be. A healthy and vital marriage will provide the children with the structure and stability they need to grow up healthy and well adjusted.

Good luck and please try to not break trust with your spouse. Even if you have reason to mistrust him always think twice before invading his privacy. Please have a nice day.

You're right that it would probably ruin your vacation, but it's going to be on your mind the whole time anyway. I think that if you handle the situation calmly, you will be okay.

I would say something to him. He probably doesn't want to tell you because he knows that you will be upset, and the meeting probably means nothing at all except a good-bye to someone that was at one time a part of his life.

Just say that you know that he met with his ex, and that you trust him, it's just that you wish that he would have told you. Let him know that it's not that you doubt him, but from now on to tell you things like that, because you wouldn't keep something like that from him. No arguments!

Then drop it, have a good vacation; then if you still feel like it...ream his a** when you get back home. :)

Best Wishes

Its not right he never metnioned to you. However the broad is moving out of town. Consider her ancient history. this doesn't mean in and of itself that he messing around or even contemplating such...although I suspect you know this anyway.

Just keep in mind that this is a sensitive issue that he didn't bring up....probably because he figured you'd go nuts. Let it go. It does no good now to mention it.

However should you discover in the future that the conversations still are taking place and kept secret from you then perhaps you may wish to address this at that time.

In the meantime the three of you should just enjoy the vacation.

You are in a committed relationship getting ready to have his child. Yes this is your business! Just like your business is his. Trust what is that anymore? I'm telling you the truth here and now. He is meeting her, or else why would he be hiding it. He needs to be a man and tell his ex your an ex for a reason. So with that in mind good luck. He is a lier!

they maybe just friends, my husbands ex comes to our house all the time, but I am included, if you know where they are meeting just happen to go there and see what happens, i would have to know what went on at these meetings