my wife and I are divorcing.. I need help from Christians?

Medication is just a bandaid. She needs Gods healing touch.

When I went through a 1yr breakdown late 1990-1991; everyone thought I was lying also. I was told it wasn't happening, etc... I was making things up to get attention. They didn't want to hear it... I had to go through it because I fell away for 10yrs. I had idols in my life. The breakdown revealed it. She probably has idols in her life & denying it. She needs to keep calling on Jesus to save her. That is what I did. Though I did yell at Jehovah, Jesus & Holy Ghost & got in bigger trouble during my breakdown. But my heart is always honest. I knew the lies were lies. But I knew what I was hearing & others thought I was lying. I was considered to be bi polar also. Though, I don't believe I was that. Medicine didn't change anything. It just helped me rest.

God healed me, because I went to a Church & God had a divine apointment. I went forward 3 times. The 3rd time is when I was overfilled with the Holy Spirit. And that was the beginning of my healing. That was the first night of sound sleep for a year. Sleep does wonders.

See? When God is our healer, then yes! God can heal our marriage!

So? She may be a chronic liar, or she may be honest from her heart & being accused of being a liar. She is believing lying spirits though. And this is confusion.

According to Jesus, Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of mans heart. And infidelity was the only grounds for divorce. I would consider physical abuse (hardness of mans heart) other grounds.

Either you or your wife or both are disobedient Christians. Yes your marriage can be saved! You need to come together before a Big God & repent of where you messed up & where you didn't put God first in your marriage.

For a successful marriage, you both need to be obedient Christians. Or at least one of you. Love God first, then each other, then the family & then the career.

But it is written that if the unbelieving spouse wants to leave, we are to let that unbelieving spouse leave. Now your spouse might not believe or may just be feeling condemnation & not worthy of being your wife. I am married to an unbeliever & he has said he wants to get a divorce when he is drunk. I would rather wait & hear this when he isn't drunk. Otherwise it means nothing. The devil gives him these things to say more so when he is drunk. And I tell him that he can leave. That means he can go out & do all the paper work himself. If I don't want to do it, I don't have to. (If my husband was physically abusive or had an affair, then I would go out & do the paper work myself. But I love my husband.)

Now your wife needs to go to a Church & be prayed over for Gods healing & be overfilled with the Holy Spirit. I am sure that she isn't filled with the Holy Spirit because of blaspheming Gods spiritual gifts somehow. That is one door that opens to demonic oppression.

When I went before the Church desperate, late 1991, God overfilled me with His Holy Spirit. That was the first night of sound sleep for a year. And God is my Healer. And the Truth does set us free from mental bondages. I have renewed my mind in Gods Word. And I am renewed in Gods Spirit.

I don't know if your marriage can be saved, if your wife refuses to seek God for healing. Just realize that she probably isn't lying. Just being accused of it. She hears the devils lies, false accusations & believes them. She may be really honest. Honest people repeat lies, because they think the lie is the truth. Condemnation comes from the devil or others. Not from God.

Don't feel you need to go out with her to do the paperwork for a divorce. Tell her how you feel. You don't want to have a divorce. If she wants to bad enouph, she can go do it herself. It is written to let the one who hates the believer leave. She may very much still love you, but just can't get better on her own. And is dealing with depression & self discust & not good enouph for you.

Anyway, write me if you have any more questions.

The Church I still go to is the Church the Lord healed me in & washes me in His Word in. You can listen to my Pastor on marriages & relationships. In the past when I prayed to God about my marriage, the Pastor preached the message & it was to stay with my husband. Even if the world would tell me to divorce him because of his alcoholism.

http://www.riveroflifefellowship.org/

Yes, but she has to be willing. If not, then there is not much you can do. Bipolar is a difficult disease on everyone involved. I am amazed by your devotion to your wife, i commend you for it. You are a special person. Pray for God's guidance in your life. To help you to get through this difficult time. I am sorry.

Could you just try a separation without divorce, medication will help if she is compliant and does not stop. Maybe in time, things will improve and she will be able to rethink all of this. In the mean time, pray for Gods will.

it sounds like it is up to her. i know what it is like to be in a relationship and go through depression at the same time. I know it's not as bad as bipolar disorder but it still ruined my relationships.

She is going through A LOT not to say that you aren't but she can't focus on relationship issues right now.

I would suggest just separating and then when she is ready to get counseling and work on your relationship. but be prepared to wait a really long time. She probably wants a divorce because she knows this, and knows that when she finally gets to a place that she is ready for relationships that she will be a completely different person. She doesn't want you to have to wait around for her when the future is uncertain. She wants you to move on with your life along with her. when you love someone that much sometimes you have to let them go.

As far as upsetting god, i wouldn't worry about it. He would want you to respect each others wishes to move on, and would understand and forgive these circumstances.

my heart breaks for ya good luck

I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation. Unfortunately our society does nothing to protect those who want to try to make a tough marriage work--it only supports those who want out. If she doesn't want to listen to the Bible's dedication to marriage, you just can't force her to stay. Has she talked this situation over with her counselor? Could you convince her to talk with someone who has stuck with a rough marriage to see it through to better days?

If the divorce can't be helped, I don't believe God will be disappointed with you. Just look at what Paul says about divorce in I Cor. 7:15. Not exactly your scenario, but it shows a God of mercy and understanding. God can't be disappointed with you if you rely on Christ as your Savior. All your sins, past, present and future, hung on that cross and were washed away by Jesus's blood. I think the only way you can make God disappointed in you is if you drift away from Him and start relying on your own strength and goodness to make you right with Him.

I'm saying a little prayer for you tonight. I hope God saves your marriage, but if He doesn't, at least He's saved you.

Sounds like SHE is afraid of having her heart broke. Since she is "broken" she's may be afraid that you won't like her any more. She may sense that it's going to be a difficult road ahead to healing and she may be worried that you won't be willing to make that journey with her (Even if she is wrong in thinking you won't stand by her, I'm just saying this may be what's going through her head).

I would suggest to you that you tell her that you are only signing divorce papers on one condition. She must attend seven sessions of individual counseling and seven sessions of marriage counseling (with you of course). If, after those 7 individs. and 7 couples sessions, she still wants a divorce, you must sign the papers, no further discussion or questions.

Bi-Polar is a very serious disease and it is hard for someone who has it and hard on those that love them. Maybe you can convince her to take a trial separation instead with some marriage counseling to decide if that is really what you both need to do. If you still love each other there is still some hope. try to tell her it is something that you should take sometime with not something to jump into.

Definitely pray about it and see what happens God will always lead you in the right path.

I hope this helps and God Bless you both you are in our prayers.

I am not a person trained in any of these sorts of matters and would strongly urge you to seek advice from a better pool of advice and not the internet, with all due respect for my brothers and sisters.

If you can be this bold to publicize this on the internet you shouldn't have trouble asking for some help from those closer to you or from some professional people. May the Lord bless you with finding someone other than the internet crowd.

It sounds like marriage counseling could help both of you. Even if your marriage does end, you will both know you did everything humanly possible to honor your promises to each other. But if your wife is well enough that she wants to improve her life, perhaps she is well enough to help mend your marriage.

Bipolar disorder is very difficult, and most people don't understand how hard it is on everyone involved. Do not worry about disappointing God; trust that God loves you both and wants to help you.

I will pray for you, my brother.

Yes, God can save your marriage. God hates divorce and it is His desire to save your marriage! Even if your wife is not willing to reconsider, the Lord CAN change her heart. Here is the link to an incredible ministry that's main focus is marriage restoration. I encourage you to check it out, and I'm praying for your situation.

http://www.encouragingmen.org/

The Bible does mention spending time apart from one's spouse.

If she wants to divorce you, there's nothing you can do to stop it. You won't be dissapointing God.

And if you don't trust her, then you can't stay married to her.

If she is a pathological liar you really don't know if she's been faithful or not. There's a good possibility she hasn't, since mentally unstable women tend to do such things.

It sounds like you have to move on.

<edit> I guess you people advising marrige counseling didn't read the part where he said she was divorcing him. He can't force her to stay.

First, you're not to blame.

Second, ignore the smug answerers who proclaim divorce as de facto sin. Most who say so here are young teens, still wet behind the ears; the remainder have no real life experience.

Third, you can not control another person. You may have to reconcile yourself to the end of your marriage, hard as it will be for you. I wish you well.