Writing a letter to my nosy neighbor

Write a letter to get all of your anger out, then burn the letter. Once you are calm go knock on his door and kindly ask him to mind his own business.

Part of apartment living is accepting the neighbors make noise and have the right to do so to a certain degree within their own home. You are perfectly within your right to curse in your apartment or run your air conditioner.

It is harassment. You should not bother writing a letter, just go straight to his door and say it to his face. Don't shout or swear or insult him - be polite, calm and formal. Ask him what his problems are, ask him why he is telling your mother all this even though he has no need and come to some sort of arrrangement.

He may be of old age, but he is not being very socialable towards you. You need to ask him up front about the situation, and if he chooses to ignore your comments and continue, then you should seek further advise. Are you living in rented accomodation? If so, contact the owner of your apartments and tell them that you are having trouble with a neighbour and HOPEFULLY, they will contact your neighbour and you may or may not come to an agreement.

And as for the refridgerators being loud - impossible. That is an excuse of his. Many people think it is just the younger that can be harassing and annoying, when in reality ANYBODY, regardless of age or circumstance, can be the same ...

Write him a letter after you calm down. Maybe you can apologize for cussing AROUND him, while making it clear that you were NOT cussing AT him. Try to be as nice as you can about it. When folks get that age they are pretty set in their ways, and little things that are not apart of their routine may be upsetting to them. How long have you both been living there? Maybe you two need to adjust to each other. Please be patient with him, I know it can be frustrating. I believe you can work things out with him.

I think you need to, first, ask your mom to refuse to even listen to him if he's coming to her to tattle on you. If she refuses to entertain him, he'll stop. Second, keep a log of the stuff he's doing, and if he's doing it to other people around the place, get them to do the same. Once you guys get enough ammo, you should all go, together, to the landlord, manager or whomever is in charge and let them know this guy is a menace to all. If you're the only lucky one he's bugging, still keep records and go speak to the landlord, asking for assistance and clarification on the rules for the building. I think that trying to talk to someone like this is just going to frustrate you more and you don't need that. Also, he sounds pretty lonely, so arguing back to him or responding to the things he says, even in a negative way may be reinforcing his behaviors. Sometimes people who want attention will force negative attention rather than be alone.

Remember, anything you say in writing can be used against you later. It may be better, at least at first, to speak to him in person. Let him know that you would appreciate it if he would speak to you directly, rather than speaking to your mother. You could also speak to your super (I assume you have one, since you live in a building) and let him/her know that you are having trouble with this other tenant. Do not get confrontational, but let the super deal with it after you have spoken to this man face to face.

Best Regards,

Holly

What a bothersome old fart. Just blow it off. You don't say what your mother's reaction is to all this (unsolicited?) information. If you really want to pursue/escalate/de-fuse the situation, you could just ask him (when you're not in an angry state) the what & why of his interest in you & your life. And what ever the answers, kindly ask him to stop, already.