I want to be involved but my husband doesn't want me to...

The thing about submission is, and I teach this a lot to men who try and push this off on their wives, you have to be carrying out your side of the envelope too. Ephesians 5:22-33 and Colossians 3:18-19 (which are kind of the big sections on this) read

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

and

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

The thing I think a lot of guys miss here is that it doesn't just say, wives submit to your husbands it also says husbands love your wives and it gives commands about how to love your wife. I really like the section in Ephesians because Paul tells husbands to love their wives like Christ loves the church. One way that Christ loves the church is that He made a sacrifice for the church, the ultimate sacrifice, He died for it. If husbands want their wives to follow through on their obligation the husband has to be willing to love his wife in way that is self-sacrificing, serving, keeps no memory of wrongs, and in general just shows an attitude of Christ.

I think it is important to "submit" to your husband, but at the same time he should be taking a role of spiritual leadership in your home and part of that is supporting you as a servant leader not someone who tells you what you can and cannot do. My advice would be to pray about it and if he is open to it pray about it together.

So he doesn't want you to help out with music ministry? Uh... and what is his reason, other than you are being "rebellious" ? OK, I am assuming this ministry has something to do with the church? Are you playing music at church?

First, I am a stay at home dad. my wife is the bread earner. I love it. I can't understand how he could NOT love it. he gets to spend time with his kids!

Second, it sounds more like he wants to be a boss/controller than a partner in this marriage.

Third, it could also be that he feels uh... less of a man (Not sure how to put this) since he isn't the bread winner. So he feels he has to say no or somehow show he is still the man by 'controlling' you in something. (again, not sure if that is quite the right way to put it, but I think you get the idea.)

Fourth

Could he feel anger toward the church/God over his disability or some other reason? You said you don't go to church anymore and I assume this music ministry involves the church. He says no. That sounds like he is against going back to God in some way.

Basic sum up:

It doesn't sound like he has a real reason for this, or at least not giving it.

I would sit down and have a talk with him. Find out why he is really against this. Is he against going back to church/God? Why does he not want you to do this. Submitting to him does not mean you are his slave. If you are to submit to him, then he should love you like Jesus loves the church. Is he loving you that much? Is he treating you as Jesus does the church? Jesus wouldn't keep you from spending a little time with music and the church. Hey, if he doesn't see himself as Christian, then that whole submit thing is irrelevant now anyway. He can't have it only his way. Talk to him.

Edit:

Dr Demonica, I don't want to bash it. don't make assumptions, please.

Try marriage counselling. Make SURE your husband is with you. Without outside professional help, your problems will remain chronic.

Happy for you that you wish to give of your time and effort to your fellow humans. Too bad that you have to put "God" in the equation, but you have to understand - I'm an atheist.

I can see that you are still a woman of God. You know the Bible. It says to put noone before God not even your Family that would be worshipping your Husband rather than God. The Bible does say to be submissive to your Husband but it does not say to put your husband before God. Just Pray God will put you there if that is where you are suppose to be.

Hope this Helped God Bless \o/

If he does not want to be the spiritual leader then you have to be. The bible says that a wife has to submit but I don't think it means that you have to be treated badly or if he is not being the spiritual leader. Tell him that you love him and what to be together but this is something that you want to do and let God handle the rest.

It's only a role reversal because you see it as one. These days, who is to say what is "normal"?

Other than that bit of advice, I don't know the answer to your question, because I would not have gotten married in the first place.

Love does not require shared bank accounts or a ring.

If you read in scripture about the wife 'submitting' to her husband, it also says the husband must submit to God . . . how does he do that if he's not going to church?

He lost his right to demand submission, when he stopped submitting himself.

You want to go to church, and now he's not only not supporting you in this, he's opposing you. How is he, as head of the household, doing God's will?

Don't resent him not wanting you to be involved. Just be involved, and do what you want to do in areas concerning God and church.

And in all things, ask yourself, and ask him, what example are you setting for your children?

God be with you.

Pray and ask for God's will. The rest will fall into place.

have you done the crying thing yet ?

That works like a charm . just say "Ok you win " and cry and cry and cry .

You are in charge of your own destiny and happiness