Did I do the right thing?

I can speak from a child's view because I use to live that same story when I was a little girl. My Dad would constantly break my heart and eventaually stop coming all together. She is going to be heart broken what child wouldn't. All I can recommend is that you never from this day forward speak negatively about the dad. Prayer is ideal in this case as well because we can't change ourselves, but the love of God can.Please don't try to shelter her either simply explain that some times parents don't do what we hope for them to do and that sometimes that hurts our feelings, but its not the daughters fault and express that your sure dad loves her and you love her. Make sure you open communication lines to her so she can share her feelings, but that doesn't mean you should share those thoughts or hurt because it may cause resentment from both child and dad.As she gets older she will begin to express her feelings. Is there a right way...just love and comfort that child.

You are not responsible for the relationship between him and her, and you have no control over him. So I'd just stop telling her if he tells you he'll come over, then if he shows up, it will be a surprise. Anytime he makes her promises he doesn't keep hurts their relationship, it doesn't say anything about you and you are not responsible for it.

You should never build up her expectations about his visit - "Yeah Daddy's coming over!" I don't know if you ever do that, but that would be very cruel because you are basically using her to get back at him. She'll be extra disappointed and you can throw that in his face. Anyway, I doubt you do that, just wanted to mention it, just in case you do it and didn't realize how cruel it was to her.

No, you are not asking for too much. Him saying that you are asking him to 'drop everything for her' is ridiculous. One night a weekend and every other weekend is not too hard if he loves her. It's not hard to do that at all. He has no respect for you or her. I think you did a great thing by telling him he was breaking her heart, a wonderful thing. But if that still didn't get to him, and he's still going to be egotistical, he doesn't deserve the time of day. Good luck.

The courts decide the money based on how much he makes. So don't even get into an argument with him about it.

As for him not keeping his visitation times. There is nothing you can do. He either is going to be responsible or not. Why don't you try asking him to call when he is on his way and then you will get her ready to go.

Sounds like what my ex was like with our son when he was about the same age. He used to verbally abuse me in front of our son for exactly the same reason.

In the end, I stopped telling my son when his dad was going to pick him up, and just quietly got his stuff ready without him noticing just in case his dad did show up on time (if at all). It broke my heart to see him sitting on the front door step watching and waiting. It was easier on both of us for me to just not tell him he was going to his dad's, just in case....... and if dad showed up, it was a bonus!!

It worked for us. It may not work in your situation, but I just wanted to let you know how I handled it.

Edited to add: Gee, its a tough one. Unfortunately, her dad probably won't change. I know how much it hurts them. My ex won't take my son if he is sick, he won't take him if my son has some commitment he can't be bothered with on the weekend, and so on. My son is now 11, and it still hurts him, but he also is comfortable talking about it. We discuss how much he loves his daddy and his dad loves him, but that his dad is sometimes not very reliable, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love him. It does bother my son, and I can see that sometimes he feels hurt about it, but in the long term, he does have to learn to live with it. I think as long as they have one reliable parent in their lives, someone they know they can ALWAYS count on, it doesn't cause major insecurities - my son is pretty secure and generally very happy.

BTW, my ex bitches about the child support too, and I only get $150 a month!! He doesn't say anything to me any more because I just ignore it, but he tells my son how I don't deserve it, I'm sending him broke, my fault he had to sell his car because he had a child support debt. I'll never be able to stop him saying these things, so instead I have educated our son to understand that both parents need to pay to raise children, as that is what is fair, and that if he lived with his dad, I would have to pay him.

What you WANT him to do and he wants to do are two different things.

Well you have to look at it this way, he did allow you to have her for the party even though it was his weekend. If that was my ex, I would have to schedule it on my own time with them. He gets pissed if i cut into his time. Maybe he was mad about that. You do have to respect his times with the kids. I would suggest him take her all next weekend then to make up for cutting into his time.

Good luck.

i don't think you are it is his responsibility as a father to at least see her once a week and pay you 300 or more a week if he who wouldn't think so much in him self then he might just see that i mean he chose fishing over his daughter that is just wrong

i hope it all turn out for you God bless