Need anyone's opinion. ?

always put your child first. you should let the child go to the party, unless the age is very very young. then spend your time with the child. see what the child wants.

The question here isn't about how they treat you, that is their short coming in life to behave that way. What is important is that you behave the way that you want in this world.

Leaving all of the crap going on between you and your ex family out of the equation. I would say let the boy go to the anniversary party. My thinking is that it will help him learn the importance of anniversaries and also show him that some relationships can last and others need to be ended, (like your's and your ex's).

Kids are usually pretty good at picking up the facts about how his family treats you. He loves you and although they may not realize it, when they treat you bad he probably feels like they treat him badly too. If they don't like you because you are Asian then he is going to feel like they don't want him either because he is part Asian. They are building their own distance from him. You should just love him and show him how to respect others even if they don't respect you. Then you can respect yourself.

many people in this world are like that, like the person above the person above me said put your son first, let him go visit his grandparents after all he's not just your son. no time to be greedy. forgive and forget.

Ask your son what he would like to do. It sounds like he's being used by everybody for their own agenda's.

Don't use him as a pawn. Remember, he has to be involved in the decision making too; assuming he can speak....!

Let the kid go. Then when you need to change a day, see if your ex will do it. If he won't, don't be flexible anymore. But try not to hurt the child.

Perhaps you could let your ex have him this sunday, and you have him at an additional time.

(BTW: what does your son want?)