Thinking about having a second child...pros/cons being a single child vs being raised with siblings?

My wife and I have gone through the same situation I grew up with two other brothers and my wife was a single child. I think the differences are that I'm allot more competitive than my wife is and she is a whole lot more creative and imaginative than I am. I think that's because with my brothers I always had to compete to maintain a foothold in the family. My wife being the only child caused her to be more imaginative and creative. We chose to have a second child so that our first child would have the companionship of a sibling. This world can be such a lonely place. My wife and I only have my wife's mom to help us and at times it gets a bit rough financially but we have become allot closer as a family because of it. My oldest child and her sibling's fight and get mad at each other but after its all said and done they love each other greatly they are extremely close to each other and really need each other for the companionship and security. Once you treat them the same (the oldest will get jealous if you're not mind full of this) and raise them to respect and to take care of each other things will work out great. Now with all that said and done ask yourself one very important question can you and your wife mentally and emotionally go through the baby process all over again (dirty diapers, crying, NO SEX for a couple of weeks, sleepless nights, I'm sure you get the point).

You can always wait til you are more financially ready? I have a 2 and a half year old girl and am having a baby boy in December, I grew up with a younger brother, it wasn't great, we fought a lot but I am glad I wasnt alone. My dad's partner ONLY has a sister, she is her only surviving relative and without that sister she would be completely alone so I do feel it is important to have a sibling so that you are more likely to have existing family over your lifetime. I wanted to have more than one kid but I think after this one I won't be having any more babies because I feel like 3 is a crowd hehehe. Good luck with your decision. I think for the child's sake you should go for it, but if you have to wait a couple years that wouldnt be a bad thing

Those are all really good points. People are just stereotyping based on statistics that they think are accurate. Statistically, there are a lot of single teenage moms who live in poverty on welfare. But in the case of 20 something college students I think they stand a pretty good chance to live a normal middle class life. Not everyone who is a single teenage mom on welfare lives in the ghetto anyway. The smart ones know how to manage their low income along with government aid and live in decent apartments in decent neighborhoods and can give their kids a decent life and eventually get off of welfare. There's no reason why a 20 something college student can't get an okay job, plus child support, and have their baby in daycare or in the care of family members while they work, and provide for their child.

I think that people that do have siblings seem to unserstand the value of sharing more. I have been out with two guys that are single children and they are very independant and dont' seem to be able to adapt to what is then a large family that they will effectively become a part of. i've also noticed that parents of single kids are more controlling...maybe not all, but most that I know.

If you cannot afford to bring another child into the world though it's not going to be the end of the world. You sound like lovely caring parents and have a fantastic child and as long as you don't control her she'll be just fine!

There was almost a 5 year age gap between my two kids, by the time my daughter was born my son was off to school. It was hard for him to accept the new baby and he kept trying to give her away to visitors. LOL My son finally adapted, but the age difference made it impossible for them to hang out much. He had friends his own age that he wanted to play with, and she was too young to hang out with them. You see what I mean? Would you want to let your 5 year old play the same things as your 10 year old? What about your 10 year old hanging out with 15 year olds? And it isnt fair to your older child to expect her to drag along her little sister.

I grew up with 2 brothers, one 1 year older, one 21/2 years younger. We fought a lot as kids, but we knew we are there for each other no matter what. But on the other hand we had a lot of fun times together. We are still very close as adults.

ok i come from what most would consider a very small [extended family].....it consists of me ,my two kids , my two brothers ,mum ,dad , nan ,two aunts ,two uncles and a cousin ,his wife and their two girls.........................i was raised with two brothers my father with two sisters and my mother alone ......[no siblings]

honestly shes not anywhere as greedy as my dad and he grew up sharing ....but being the only boy spoiled .

personally i reckon a single child can be raised beautifully if you ensure not let them become a brat by over spoiling them ...i have a mate who did this and pays dearly as her 3 yr old is a terrible child who never listens or does as shes told .....i have two kids though and one hopes to get away with everything ,wants everything and the other is satisfied never asking for more than he knows is neccessary outta life ....i am a single mum ...you can never afford children ,but we always find a way ...its fine its all gonna work out ok if you have another child .....good luck either way and be happy no matter your decisions in life

have a good one

Two siblings have each other. A single child is more demanding of your full attention.