My friend has a 5 month old son in adoption agency and shes pregnant again?

Actually I have been through this experience but through the adoptive mom side. My son's mother had her second child taken away at birth due to prior stuff. She tried for over 2 years to do all the things she was ask and unfortunately DSHS still took the child away. She got no contact with him didn't know where he was etc. She got pregnant again and DSHS told her they would fax every state surrounding ours and take the baby at birth. She found out she could give her baby up for adoption and see the baby, talk to him, etc i.e. have an open adoption. Which she did and is working for her the best it can in a sad case such as this. DSHS was calling the adoption agency every week making sure she was still following the plan as they very much wanted the child and put him with his brother. Side note DSHS knew she was pregnant but put her frist child in adoptive home even though IMO should have waited to see if we would have taken him which we would have. I'm sad that they live 2,000 miles away and can't be together. Anyhow long story short DSHS could not interfer with her adoption plan and they did not take the child away from us. Hope she can find a place to live and pass her homestudy and all this will be a nightmare

Blah blah blah.....no use for contraceptive talk now.

If she has an open CPS case, which it sounds like she does, when she has this baby...more than likely this baby will be picked up too because she hasn't corrected the condition that lead to removal of the first child.

If you are in the USA, no one can "force" her to have an abortion. Likewise, she needs to get her tail in gear, hang up the excuses and work on making her way. If her roomy is moving on in December, why does she not have enough time to get another place?? That is a legitimate reason to be "set back".

I cannot see the state making her sign over her rights either. She is allowed due process beleive it or not. I can however see where she has been told if she relinquishes her rights to the first child before the second child is born, then the CPS case closes....then she will not be bothered by CPS when she has the second child. Does she have an attorney who is representing her in the juvenile proceedings?? She probably needs to confer with that person if she has one.

Also,

If she wants an abortion...that is her choice. If the state picks the new baby up, she has another choice...work a treatment plan. They would have to determine the new baby deprived unless she has done something so terrible to the first one that they would move for immediate termination on the second child. That does not sound like that is the case here.

Does that make sense??

She has a decision to make. The choice is hers.

Wow! I can't believe how awful they are being to her and especially people here on Yahoo! Answers. You are trying to help a friend and all people do on here is bash her when they don't even know her. That makes me so angry! When I was 5 months old I lived at a women's shelter with my mother. My dad was abusive and she was afraid he would hurt me and had NOWHERE to go and NOBODY to turn to. She wasn't on drugs and she wasn't being a slut either. A lot of women go to shelters because they have nowhere to go coming out of situations like mine. It's sad how people who live comfortable lives come on here and degrade women who are in troubled situations. Why can't they just shut-up if they can't give any constructive advise??

Your friend is in a serious situation. I cannot judge the terms by which she is pregnant now but I do know that she has a right to keep both of her babies. Do not let her get an abortion because they tell her to. From what I understand, she has done nothing wrong except miss a few required meetings since she was in the system. It does seem a little strange though that they would take a baby from her for that reason. Are you certain there wasn't any drug abuse/neglect issues that contributed to the child being removed from her custody?

That is sad that the person she is living with is doing her wrong and moving in December. Is there any way possible that you could help her get a place to live or perhaps she could stay with you for a couple months? It sounds like she really needs stability and needs to get settled enough to get a job so she can provide for her unborn child and get her baby back

I'm going to assume a lot of stuff here because I don't think you're giving the full story.

1st: If she is peeing in a cup on a regular basis, then she must have had problems with drugs or alcohol. If a child is born positive or with traces of drugs or alcohol in their system than they will take them away.

2nd: The people she's talking to don't sound like they are reliabe sources, i.e. Social Worker. People have misconceptions about how foster care works, and she should only be listening to the case worker or her lawyer concerning her child. Each case is different, with that being said, I highly doubt they would force her to have an abortion. I have heard of people (in my foster parent training) that get a child taken away and immediately get pregnant as a sort of "make-up" baby.

3rd: If she has been steadily following the caseplan that she should have signed, the situation with the lack of housing should be no issue if she finds something soon after she moves out. There are millions of resources available to the public for housing and jobs that she should take advantage of.

Really, the big question is, does she want her child back? If she does than she will do what she needs to (whether she likes it or not) to get him back. Not having things like thermometers and tylenol in her house sound like a lack of interest on her part. If she's as bad off as you said she was, she should have been able to put him on medicaid. As for money for the bus pass, the case workers I deal with will go and pick parents up or stop by their houses. What is sounds like is that she can't seem to make herself do everything she needs to to get her child back. Getting up, getting a job, living somewhere clean, these are relatively easy things to do. If she wants her child back, and wants to provide for her new baby, she will have to suck it up and make a life for her children.

wow. she does have alot to deal with. First she needs to find out where she can get help. There are tons of agencies that help with housing,things you need for a house, food,clothes,baby stuff, and everything else. Get all the help she can. There is low income housing she can get into. and I know this sounds crazy but usually you get the most help if you have a child or are pregnant. so since her child is not with her she may not have qualified for certain help but now that she is pregnant she may get that help now. she has to be willing to help herself and it doesn't sound like she is all that motivated to do the things she needs to do. if she wants to make this work she has to put forth the effort. tell her to look up the agencies for help and go DO WHATEVER they tell her to do. and she could have everything she needs including a job. abortion is never the answer....i know i did it and it haunts me everyday. it was the worst decision i ever made. (and I cant have kids now) give the baby up for adoption or keep it....and no the state can not take the baby away for no reason, and can not terminate her parental rights just because she is pregnant again.

Obviously, there's issues there that extend well beyond poverty. They don't make you go to parenting classes just because you're poor so there's more to the story than you're telling us.

Plus, the excuses you give for her not making her appointments (OVERSLEPT??? WTF???) are not valid. If she really wanted her children back, seh would set 5 alarms, go to bed early, etc -- wahtever it took to make that appointment. They don't make you take a urine test just because you're poor or unemployed -- you take that to prove that you're not STILL using drugs.

She couldn't make it to the appt, overslept, no $ . . maybe the guy who knocked her up this time should've given her the $1.50 for the bus....at the very least, he should've worn a condom.

first time might have been an "accident" but the second time is pure stupidity.

To my understanding the baby was not born at the time the first incident happened so they shouldn't take it away. She should really look into it before she makes a decision to abort or sign her rights away.

there is a very important case for us women called ROE VS WADE which determined that women have the right to keep or abort. Thus meaning that the state CANNOT make her have an abortion. Where are the childrens fathers in all of this? Why doesnt' she file for state aid or go to work source? I know Wal Mart will hire pregnant women. Even a crappy job is better than no job when you have children to take care of. She needs to be thinking about her children right now not just getting the one back but whether or not she can support them and provide for them. Sadly it's better that they are adopted out as babies to families that cannot have them and will take care of thema nd can afford them than someone who wont even get a job to take care of them.

this is sooo crazy and outragous!

your friend needs a lawyer. this is BS

first things first, she needs to get a job and a car if possible, so that she can get where she needs to go,

no one can make her sign the rights of her un born child over.

please tell her to get a lawyer

tell her that if she abides by their rules and does everything she's supposed to do, they won't take her newborn away and they will give her her 5 month old son back. tell her not to give the agency any reason to take her newborn away from her. they can't automatically take away her newborn - she has to show that she has neglected the newborn somehow before they can legally take her newborn away. so tell her to just abide by their rules, and she should be fine.

if she does everything she's supposed to do, she won't have to result to abortion.