How do I help her? I NEED YOUR ADVICE!?

I do. My dad left before I was born. I met him twice. The second time was to bury him. Everyone in my family hated him for leaving us. But I can't hate my dad or be hurt that he didn't love me enough to come back for me. He loved me. I know that now.

I know because I am a father now. I love my son with all my heart. That has brought me understanding. You see the only thing that could even come close to make me act so foolish as to leave in pain and anger, as my father did, would be failing my son. If I was not doing right by him or hurting him by my short falls I would be so ashamed and hurt. I would doubt myself and wonder if he would be better off without me. I am to strong to let self doubt get to me though. My father did not have that strength. Some people just can't face certain realities and they run. they run as far as they can like my father did.

I understand now that my father left because he did not feel he was good enough. That I would be better off without him. What a sacrifice he made. He loved me so much he gave up everything thinking it was the right thing to do. He was wrong but he was not evil. He meant well.

I forgive him. I blame nobody for the imperfections we all have as humans. We make mistakes. Sometimes really big ones. People are not perfect. it is hard to forgive something so hurtful but it is the right thing to do. I loved my father everyday of my life. I have a great father son relationship. It does not matter I am the father. I still have the relationship and I am a better father for what my father did. When he died i found letters he had written to me trying to explain that he never sent. He left me everything he owned. His mistake was his mine would have been to hate him. We loved each other and that is all that matters now. Not how he screwed up in acting out of love. Just love him. I am a son and father and I know without any doubt in Gods green earth he loves her with all his heart.

You don't need to say anything to her, just be there for her as a non-judgemental and caring friend that she can chat to to get things off her chest. As her dad left when she was little she must of felt like she did something wrong or that she was not good enough for him and that can leave scars inside her that probably have not healed yet. For a father to say that to his own daughter when she was 13 was just unforgivable. To say it at any age is just terrible but at such an age that she was probably going through alot ie. puberty and hormonal changes was just wrong. The poor girl must of and more than likely still is so hurt because of that. She is obviously still not over this and she should go to counselling to try and move on from this. It will help her a great deal to see that her father is not worthy of her and that she is a great person that didn't deserve any of this. Just be there for your friend if she needs you and let her know that you care. Good Luck

Well, firstly you need to find out if her father is the actual cause of her feeling depressed. It could be a cover for something else. Or, she could try and find him (go through the entire family and find out who he is in contact with still) and send him a message that she needs to discussed something of an urgent nature with him. You are not able to help someone in this type of situation unless you have been there yourself.