Should I throw a joint birthday party? Details on situation inside. Thanks for reading and answering!?

Question

Okay, so here's the story, sorry that it's kind of long...

One of my good friends, who is only 19 years old, has custody of her little brother because their mother is in jail. Basically either she took him or he went into foster care. She didn't want to lose him, so she decided to take him in, she goes to community college part time and works and she's having a tough time with it. Anyway, he'll be 3 on November 6th and my daughter will 3 on the 4th. I was planning on having a party for my daughter and I'm wondering if I should make it a joint party. I know Heather (my friend) can't really afford to have a party for him or get him any gifts or anything, because she's barely getting by with the rent, bills, food, etc... I want him to still have a good birthday, because he's so young and has been through so much trauma in the past few months, I just want him to be able to be a kid and enjoy life for a change... The main thing I'm worried about though, is would it be okay for me to ask the guests to bring two gifts, one for each of them? My daughter already has so much and I was thinking maybe I could ask them to get her a cheaper gift and to get Matthew something too. Like if they were going to spend $20 or $30 on Kennedy, maybe they could split it and get each a $10 or $15 gift instead. Do you think that would be acceptable? Most of the people that will be coming don't know him and I don't really want to explain the whole thing to everyone, but do you think that people would be okay with this? 

Well, thanks for listening and answering!

-Brittney

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

What a kind person you are. My heart goes out to the friend and her brother. So please do this for them. You could tell your guest that you are having a dual party. You can say that you have a young friend who is rearing her 3 year old brother and it is important to you to include him in your girls party. That this means a lot to you. You can leave out the jail part. Any way ask your guest to bring one gift either for a boy or girl. Two gifts for each child if they can afford it.A gift for a child this age should not cost much??? I hope you can get two cakes for them, one for her and one for him. I think that your guest will look up to you for doing this. I know I do.

B J · Answer

What you are thinking of doing is an honorable thing. It is great to know that you there are people who care and are willing to share. The kids are only 3 so they will not really know how many presents they got or who got what. I'd say skip the opening of the presents, and surely the boy will get a few presents, at least one from you. Just send him home with those and your daughter can open her presents after the boy is gone. 
I have a 4 years old daughter who couldn't care less about the presents when her friends are around. All she wants to do is play. When they left is when she asked for her presents!

Good luck and thank you for caring. You are a good person.

Momof3kiddos · Answer

I think that is awesome of you.  I would send out an evite to the people that you feel comfortable asking to bring a second gift.  Just explain in the evite, tell people that they dont HAVE to, but you and your daughter would both be thrilled if they could help out this little boy.  Most people would be glad to do so.  I know I would if I got an invitation like that.

Annie Beth · Answer

i think that is totally legit.  just say on the invitation that you would like the guests to bring 2 gifts one for Matthew and one for Kennedy.  *i babysit for these twins and everyone brought 2 gifts to their birthday (b/g) and the invite was like : We're 4! Come wish us a happy birhtday! if you stress the plural on the invite and then note to bring 2 gifts it will be fine.

michael p · Answer

that would be a good idea for a joint birthday party but only if your kids have the same friends. 

if there friends are really different i would suggest against it.

you could have a joint birthday party with maybe 5 of both of there friends and take them out for pizza or bowling or something like that

Anonymous · Answer

i think you should invite his friends and family also. so he knows people that are going to be there and he can enjoy himself and also the kids that know him can get him a gift, and if you dont know him you dont have to. only because its weird buying a gift for someone that you dont know...and if you dont know the person you dont really know what to buy him.

mooooink · Answer

i dont know if you should tell everyone too bring too gifts but tell them that tit is both of their birthdays and tell them that if they want to they can. invite all of the little boys friends and the mothers family and friends too. sounds like funn.

Just Me · Answer

I think you leave it up to the guests what they spend actually, you can't tell someone how much to spend on a gift, that just sounds greedy....  I think it's great to combine the party.

Lunyta88 · Answer

please do... i have custody of my nephew and i wish he could be happy for at least a day... withou thinking of his mom....i think your guests will understand about the gifts i would happily buy two cheaper toys to make another kid happy

Meg · Answer

i think its great of you to think of this little boy you are a great friend   he is young enough that he wont count presents  tell evey one that its for both of them and leave it at that  just buy and wrap a few extra little tings for him   have a great time  and thanks for  doing what you are doing for the little guy

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Should I throw a joint birthday party? Details on situation inside. Thanks for reading and answering!?

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