My fiances sister pulled out of the wedding last minute?

Backing out wit only 4 weeks is rude. She should have told you much sooner, but my question is exactly how did she insult you. Was it the cost of the wedding? If that is it, she had the option to sy no a long time go.

I think you should just inform your fiance and show him the text, and find someone else who IS going to the wedding to do the reading.

Don't make too big an issue of it to your fiance or to her because she may be able to say that you have a problem with her and make THAT an issue of contention between you and your new in laws or even between you and your fiance.

I say like I said before just inform him, let him see the text itself, and inform him that she may have been avoiding your calls and dodging you before she eventually sent the text. And let him deal with it for now

You do have a right to feel slighted since she insulted you. But try not to blow it completely beyond all proportion cause this can have unforeseen consequences.

If you do feel as if you should meet her or deal with the situation here is my solution.

If possible try to meet her on neutral ground and explain to her how you have been planning this wedding for however long and you were looking forward to beomcing part of the family and her doing the reading for you. Explain how you feel without becoming angry and shouting or yelling or becoming just as insulting as she may been. Ask her in a non-accusing way why she isn't going to do the reading for you and her brother anymore and if it was something you did that made her not want to come to the wedding.

People pick up on some of the strangest things and something you may not have been conscious of may have made her feel as if she was not welcome or something your fiance did. I am not excusing her if she did insult you, and certainly she did inconvenience you. However, People react certain ways to events in their life that may not have anything to do with the real reason they are feeling the way they do. So I agree you do have a right to feel upset but I think before you fully cast judgement and cut her off completely, give at least a few tries to figure out why she is acting the way she is and you dont even have to do it before the wedding, you can do it after if you are so incline.

Hope this was not rambling.

God bless with your wedding

Just let it go and have someone else do the reading. She obviously doesn't want to come; you don't want to have anyone in your wedding that doesn't want to be there right? Besides if you force her it will just make everything all tense. It sounds like you're just better off without her. I agree that she was rude about the whole thing!

It's possible that she may be going through something right now that you do not know about, and she took it out on you, which isn't right but it would explain the insult.

Show the text to your fiance but don't make a big deal about it. Good luck!!

She has declined the invitation to your wedding and declined to do a reading. That is okay. A guest has the right to decline. While I agree that it could have been done more graciously and politely . . . it is done.

Bride and groom must accept the fact that guests do have the option to decline . . . whatever the guest's reasons may be.

If you feel insulted by FSIL, then my advice is stay away from her for awhile. Let your groom handle any contact with her.

His family = his problem. If I were the bride, I would stay out of it . . . and ask someone else to do the reading.

Nah, dont hold grudges- find someone else to do the reading and just move on.

I dont know what the insult was, but she probably didnt mean to insult you. Maybe she is going through hard times as well and maybe she doesnt think you will understand. A year ago when you planned was a different time than it is now.

Thats your husbands sister, dont get him involved. Just move on and get someone else to read, maybe his mother.

Congratulations on your wedding! and dont let this misconvience get you down.

Whoa there Nellie before you continue to vent away.......

Okay, you do have a valid point in the text message...she should have called you......and why the insults? Why would they cme outta the blue...unless there's a wee little fact you're leaving out here after all, when some one has to back out of a wedding they are apologetic, they don't go on the attack...unless something else has transpired.

So if it doesn't make sense it is either not true...or missing a few vital pieces of info.....or your SIL is psychotic, which I doubt.

Okay, second point, it's her inheritance to do with what she choses to do with...perhaps she felt it was better spent on something else then an expensive trip & accomodations for just one several hours celebration.....many people refuse to attend destination weddings because they are so costly, they feel like a forced vacation that you don't select for yourself, and they feel it's a waste of money...several thousands of dollars in fact just to attend. So any couple having a destination wedding must accept that there will be people not willing to invest so much money in some one else's wedding....think of it this way, if your SIL was having a destination wedding-would you lay out so much...or if her wedding was local, would you lay on her a gift worth several thousands of dollars?

Last point, I thought people helped family because they are family, not so they get some sort of monetary payback worth thousands of dollars down the road....does your help come with that kind of price tag?

So before your feathers ruffle anymore, please consider what I said.....and please understand that not everyone will spend that kind of money on a wedding that is not theirs when all they take back is a favor and some pics (going by your theory of equal payback) when they can spend that money on their children or the vacation they really want, or nessesities for the home...or make an investment in their retirement fund...the only thing she did wrong here is not to tell you personally and not to have told you sooner...on the insults, I can't comment 'cause I aint got all the facts....good luck.

Edit: No where did I say that you were 'paying her back' by making her pay a lot of money to attend your wedding...some people should learn how to read lol....nor did I 'ramble', just made some points...sorry if you can't see them, Hon, after all you are asking for opinions.

I would let your fiance handle it and in the meantime, choose someone else to do the reading. Don't let it stress you out, you can't control other people. Just make sure all your plans are in order, I am sure it will be a beautiful day!

Good luck!

What was the insult?

LOL she is passive aggressive. Good riddance have someone else read at the ceremony and don't worry about it. Show your fiancee the texts and let him deal with it.

Let your fiance handle it. You should never "cut off" in laws, now matter how much you dislike them. The rule is to smile and act nice lol. It can suck, but it is the best way to keep peace between you and your fiance.

If she doesn't want to be there, I wouldn't want her there. I just want people at my wedding who WANT to be there.

I would just smile and say okay thanks for not letting me know :) and try to figure something else out. I wouldnt let her ruin your wedding or make your day stressful. Take care and good luck.