I need advice with my 2 1/2 year old! Moms please help!?

What are you doing wrong? You care too much, and don't want him to be sad. A little sadness won't hurt him, and he's tougher (emotionally) then you think. At 2.5 years old he doesn't get a choice on those things - he has to do them, at the dentist's office word it specifically as something he has to do not "Please" or "If you..." Just "You are going to do this!" And it's okay he needs to see a specialist, even my sister who is pretty mild was put under for fillings when she was 3 - it's very common becuase getting your teeth worked on is very scary.

He's got your number, you need to get tougher and not cave just because he's crying - and I say that not becuase I want you to abuse your son, far from it. If you say no stick to it, if he won't do time out put him in his room, block the door and he can't come out until he calms down and picks up his room (with your help). He should not be expected to hug people if he doesn't want to, that's disrespectful to him. You've got to do this now because if it's not addressed now you will loose him when he becomes a teenager - becuase he will be doing flips and 180s all around then.

You can do this, just get assertive and specific. He will reap the benefits later.

At the beginning of your post I was ready to say that your son just needed some discipline and that they go through this.. however as I continued reading for what you describe your son seems to have a behaviour problem, such as ADHD. I am NOT an expert, it could be something else as well, since he doesnt like to be hugged.. Look I dont want to scare you all I'll say is that you should take your son to the doctor's and make a list prior to the visit of all the things that you need addressed. For example you're thinking already that there's something more than terrible twos... so write it down on a piece of paper what stands out from your child's behaviour. Is your son verbal? How much does he talk? How does he react to change? Can you hug him and kiss him? Does he want things done a certain way? Why is he mean to other children? Are they physically to close to him-invading his personal space?

What makes him NOT cry and throw a fit... if he could have his way... how would a day go?

All of these are questions you need to ask yourself... because they could also be a sign for autism... there are several kinds so there's no fit one fits all in this...

I found some links that might be useful to you...

I hope you can find what's going on with your child,a dn I wish you the best of luck!!?

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/autism/article_em.h...

http://www.autism-spectrum-disorder.com/autismsymp...

http://www.web4health.info/en/answers/adhd-symptom...

Your son's issues have less to do with how you discipline him than his neurological differences.

It is clear to me that he is orally defensive, and has some sensory issues. This should be addressed by an OT. Call EI early intervention and have an assessment done. Its free and requires no referral. You also describe tactile defensiveness (not wanting hugs), and meltdowns (from sensory overload) both indicative of sensory integration issues.

I have been through this with my oldest son who is almost 8 years old. He has sensory issues, and some autistic features PDD.NOS. He goes to a pediatric dentist and gets conscious sedation for fillings.

This sensory integration is something I know a lot about, he doesn't need spankings or you to be firm, other people are interpreting his behavior as behavioral, its not, its neurological in nature.

He cries at night because he needs deep pressure in order to calm down the nervous system which is constantly tell him, get up, move, get up, move. A weighted blanket can work wonders. See dreamcatcher

http://www.weightedblanket.net/

A weighted blanket should be 10 percent of the body weight to start.

My two year old is the same way....well he doesnt swing at people, but he has his other major issues......I have tried it all as well, but the one thing that i have noticed works the best is love and patience while at the same time being stern. When they r freaking out like that and u start freaking out, they get worsre, its hard for them to cope with those feelings. So, i make sure that i keep talking to him. Like if we r in public and hes getting into something i want him out of, and all the talking in the world and distraction cant get him out, I keep talking to him (and at the same time anyone else around that doesnt so much apperciate a two year old tantrum) and let him know that i am about to take him away from that/there and he will probably cry and it wont be fun for ne one. And so he cries, and i talk to him about it. It can be embarrassing at first but he pretty much gets it now, he knows i will always get my way no matter how loud he gets.....anyway i hope this helps, just remember it is just terrible two's, they didnt give it that name for just ne old reason. Good Luck!

Is there a lot of fighting and tension at home? Children copy what they observe. Does he watch tv often and see fighting there? Do you and your husband/boyfriend fight?

The kid is obviously upset about something. Does he have a set routine? I know routines are very important for two year olds.

Have you tried physiological help?

When he cries all night you have to put him in his room and leave him there. I know it is hard but he sounds very spoiled. You have to be firm. Don't back down. Let him scream! Make sure he knows that things are going to go your way. You are the boss and screaming won't change anything.

I can promise you that he knows better. I have known multiple children who are 6 months old who understand "no".

bless your heart...do i remember those days!...i had 4 sons a yr. apart, take him to a different dentist, even the nurses can be the cause of being uncomfortable...try to stay calm and know this will all pass....my second son was the hand full but he is now the greatest father ever..even his friends tell him that! this will be the most stressful time ever, but it will be fine by the time he's 3-5 yrs old.

its hard for me to say what you are doing wrong without observing your behavior with him but it sounds to me like you are making a very common mistake and that it not setting enough limitations and/or not being consistent. he needs rules and he needs to be told when he is behaving inappropriately. you are his mother so you need to set those limitations and FOLLOW THROUGH with the punishment.Letting him get into your bed every night is bad because it tells him that as long as he cries, he will get what he wants. If you want him to stop his behavior you need to stop yours. This is very hard for parents because they hate to hear their kids cry, you think that its your job to make sure they are happy and if they are crying they are obviously not happy. But it doesn't sound like he is very happy from the behavior you described. It will take a lot of hard work and self discipline from your end but you need to do this for him. chances are it will only get worse from here if you don't.

good luck and remember to be consistent!!!!!!

Wow my heart and prayers go out to you. My daughter is 25 months old and I started disciplining her early. I will spank her good and she knows it. Is your childs father in the picture? I find that most boys need the dad, uncle, cousin or just male figure in the home to really understand the potty thing. Don't get me wrong we as mothers do it but in my opinion a boy seeing another man doing it will help. Good luck