Jehovah's Witnesses; the men only. Serious Question, sorry Vot : (?

Reo i've had my own problems i've had to deal with in my marriage. so i feel and understand your dilemma. but the best advice i can give you is to focus on the good quality's your wife does have. looks change over time. and why a marriage has to have more substance than just physical attraction.

just focus on what made you love your wife in the first place. if it WAS looks *gulp* i'm sorry then brother. i don't know what to tell you. also i've found that if you remove alot of things in your life that might be a distraction to your marriage, then alot of times it'll free up more time for your wife. which in turn can rekindle your attraction.

also try different things in the bedroom that you've might not have tryed or thought of before. i'm not suggesting anything to defile your marriage or anything that would be considered inappropriate.

Heb 13:4 Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers

but simply things that would bring that old spark back. other than that all i can say is continue to be faithful to Jehovah and your wife. try to imagine her after this system is gone and Jehovahs new world has been brought in. how hott will she look then, ooh, la,la..LOL. hope this helps brother! agape!

ADD: just remember too brother we're not perfect ourselves. who knows our wives could be on this very same forum saying the same thing about us,lol (Sisters Only!, i know the bible says to love and honor my husband, but he just don't do anything for me anymore. he's not as young and and limber as he used to be, please help sisters!) LOL lets hope thats not the case for our sake huh Reo,lol

Please Brothers excuse me but I feel I have something very important to share with you.

I know it will sound crude but let me start.

My husband and I were both virgins...We married 6 weeks after we met. We had sex no less than 50 times a day ( except that week of the month )until I became pregnant 3 months into the marriage.

Almost all sex stopped.

After the babies were born....6 of them...over 12 years.....he would go back to being over-sexed....then for 15 years we didn't hardly touch each other yet our love and concern grew deeper than before.

And when we only had 2 children left in the house he was back up to over ten times a day.

It really is extreme and I realize we are not to speak of these things but please allow me to help you hold on. Raising children and money problems will kill your love life. You will blame each other when the rebellious years appear. When an overdraft arrives in the mail you may fight and not speak for days.

All this passes when the kids leave home.

Then it's the two of you again and you can grab your flip flops and go walk on the beach or take a trip to the mountains and the bonds of love are intensified.

And you will have the added appreciation that you were faithful to each other..

Brothers the grass is not greener...it's only a new location....it gets boring too.

So stick with your wife, you have children and a long intimate history you will never have with another human.

Think back when you close your eyes to kiss your wife and see her as the young girl you were all excited to date.

Jehovah will bless you until there is no more want.

Once again, if I was crude, I appologise.

Sorry, I'm not A Bro but a Sis who married to a Bro and have 2 kids.

Can you focus on another quality of your wife? Sex is not everything in married life. Do you prefer to have a wife like Pam Anderson (complete package with the attitude) that of course her breast can intoxicate you very much but how about her attitude? As JW married are forever, the most importan thing is you enjoy her companionship because as the time pass sex is not that enjoyable anymore.

And I like the last part of Rick's Post ^_^

Maybe this problem is not exclusive to us brothers . (Just a thought)

I too have problems but not the same as yours , i still find my wife very attractive .

My problems stem from the 26 years i was out of the truth , i think i was drunk for 1/2 that time & i am sure you know the effects that heavy drinking has on certain parts of a man .

My wife is not a JW but she has strong morals (i am praying she will join us soon ) . We have a good relationship ,she is my best friend , i like my time with her .As i am getting older i find sex is less interesting & companionship more rewarding.

When we marry we make a life long commitment which we are expected to keep , that's why we must be careful whom we marry.

Love typically comes with multiple parts, lust/sex/physical attraction being only one. It is also the shortest lived.

The initial thrill of sex fades with time, and the passion wears off. That is perfectly natural, and seems to happen in every marriage.

But if your entire marriage is built upon sex and physical attractiveness, then what are you going to end up with once it goes away? Absolutely nothing. And the marriage will then fall apart.

Ever here the saying, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket"?

But if you focus less on the temporary physical things, and instead focus on building up the things that can remain forever, then you and your marriage will be perfectly fine once the passion does wear off.

Those more important things are of course: Trust, commitment, open communication, forgiveness, ect. Practice these things, and you will become closer to your partner.

There is also, of course, what the Bible refers to as the "third cord"

"And if somebody could overpower one alone, two together could make a stand against him. And a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two." (Ecc 4:12)

That third cord is God. When you both follow Jehovah and his principles together, then your bond will naturally become stronger.

I'm not a brother but I feel I have something to say, so I'll say it.

Perhaps you should voice your concern with your wife. It will most likely be hard to tell her and she will be hurt but communication and honesty are key points for a relationship to maintain itself and grow. You could tell her what she's doing wrong so she can take that into consideration and make some positive changes. Maybe she needs to loose a little weight, you could support her in that. Or maybe its just the fact that she doesn't dress up for you, well tell her you'd like to see her in something nice once in a while. TALK to her.

This is coming from someone that If this ever happened to my husband I'd like him to tell me what I was missing so that I could help make things better. You're a team and need to work this out together.

In the mean time, you need to take care of yourself even more. There is always temptation surrounding us and we must ALWAYS be on our guard to not fall. But specially since you don't find your wife sexy you can even more easily look at other women wishing your wife was like them and it could make things worse. Pray to Jehovah for strength within yourself and for your marriage.

When we married our wife's, we made a vow to Jehovah and to our marriage partner, we cannot break those vows of being loyal God and to our wife. I believe that what will help in the situation that you mentioned, is to keep loving your marriage partner whether she's sexy or not or doesn't arouse your passions anymore. We can hold hands or put our arm around her more often, and make her feel that we love her and care for her. When she wants to talk we should listen to her, and respect her and help her with the chores around the house. Who knows? after trying to get closer to her,that might trigger some sexual feelings for one another. Also there's nothing wrong with using some kind of sexual enhancer.

Everyone changes as they get older, including wives AND husbands. We have to make the best of what we have because, what is the alternative? As far as Jehovah is concerned, there is none! We agreed to love, honor and cherish each other, as long as we live. There is no other option!

For those who don't know what a serious answer is, maybe if you got a life, you would realize in time what it means to be polite! I said maybe, because I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Then it is time to do some readjusting.

NOT of your wife, but yourself. Since sex starts and mainly resides in the mind, it is time to refresh your appreciation for her.

Don't be comparing to what has happened over time, but remember the times that you have had, both the good and bad, the fun and sad. Your relationship is deeper than the surface area of her skin.

The woman may be aging (I have been married for 36 years and yes, we do get older) but that is temporary. The young woman will be back when the full effects of the healing powers of Christ's ransom is being applied in the Paradise and we grew to that perfection that God had purposed for humans.

I have my wife's Senior year picture on my wall at work, and it reminds me that woman I fell in love with.

Plus, look in the mirror. What is SHE having to deal with?

Why ask this of Jehovah's Witnesses? Do you believe they are a better authority on the Bible.

This is a question that should be posted to all Christian men. Divorce is a major problem in the world today. Especially when there are children involved.

As a father's rights advocate, I come down hard on any man seeking my help who screwed up their marriage. Every marriage goes through its highs and lows, you work on what make a marriage good.