Family woes - What do you do when a family member steals?

Question

Ok, perhaps 'steal' is too strong in this case.  In 2003 my mother died, and less than a year later my father re-married.  In the interim he sold our house and asked us to come over and take whatever we liked from the home before everything was tossed out.  Well, Tina, my sister, upon agreement was given everything that was my mothers and we both came over to the house and basically took whatever family heirlooms we liked.

In the end, we each ended up with things that we liked but there was some discussion about other matters, like the family albums.  She wanted to share them, and I did not want to split them up -- rather, I wanted to copy them for both of us.  Admittedly I have not really moved on that plan.

Well, recently I went on vacation for two weeks and asked her to care for my cat while I was gone.  When I returned she called me a few days later to tell me she took all of the family albums out of my house and was planning to copy them.

I know my sister however, and I know that if I say or do nothing she will just keep them and this will never get resolved.  I don't want too -- as I love her very much by I find myself very hurt by her actions... betrayed in a way.  My trust in her is dashed, and I am not sure how to proceed.  I don't want to fight with her but these family albums are our heritage and I feel she took advantage of my trust to gain what she selfishly wanted for herself.

Any suggestions on how I should proceed?  I am very angry and hurt but at the same time I don't want to distance myself from my only living family.... any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

flowergirl · Accepted Answer

I completely understand. When my mom died my oldest sister took all of the family photo albums and was unwilling to share. It took my daughters intervention to get some copies for me. If I were you I would try to talk to your sis. Tell her that you understand you took way to long to make copies and you are sorry about that. However she had no right take something out of your home without your permission and that you wish she would have just come to you with her concerns. Tell her that you would like to come over her house some Saturday or when ever is good for both of you and go through the pictures together. Then the two of you can make an afternoon of getting the pictures copied, getting some lunch and hanging out together. You can reminisce about old times. That way you both get pictures, you get to spend time together and you get to build some new memories. Good Luck!

Celia M · Answer

Well, first off never get a family member to watch anything animal or whatever, while you are away, that is a big no no to begin with. They go through your thing's like your sister did. Always get a neighbor or a friend to do this kind of thing for you. I never get any of my family to feed my fish when I am away, my neighbor does it for me. Not only did your sister go through the albums and take them, she probably went through everything in your house while you were away. Just be thankful she told you she got them. If she doesn't make copies soon then I would suggest going over to her house (call her first to tell her you are coming over for a visit if she is not busy) ask her if she has time for a little sisterly time together when you get there and if she has plans to do anything. Then tell her you just thought you would come over for you two to have a little sister time alone together, talk a while and then casually bring into the coversatoin "why don't the two of us take the albums and go get copies made for you because I enjoy going through them and reminicing and I really miss doing that since you got the albums." I would give her a month maybe to see if she will do it on her own, then politely go over and do your thing. I think this is the best way to handle the situation and there should be no hard feelings. Good luck and let me know how it turns out.

Yo Mama · Answer

Go to her house and suggest that you go together to copy the albums. And insist that you do it right now.
Good Luck.

quijada · Answer

as long as you're residing there, be civil to him on your mothers and dads' sake. in case you may desire to, stay scarce jointly as he's traveling. yet whilst it's time to consume or do something with the relatives, tolerate him. attempt to no longer get to bodily close, so he can no longer annoy you. as quickly as you have moved out, you do no longer ought to respond to his telephone calls, emails, or the door. He does not would desire to renowned once you're residing house. do no longer "pal him" in facebook or the different social community. On holidays whilst your mothers and dads want the entire relatives jointly, bypass lower back to being civil for his or her sakes. that's basically an afternoon or 2 a 300 and sixty 5 days.

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Family woes - What do you do when a family member steals?

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