How do I convince my autistic howler monkey that I am NOT a robot made from recycled Plymouth Duster parts?

It would help if you weren't that crappy shade of "Tangerine Orange" with primer showing.

If you were made from Plymouth Duster parts, you'd break down every two days. Try not breaking down at all, and soon they will realize their folly.

Start making "vroom vroom" noises.

No American automobile would last that long and he'll just assume you're a robot made from imported auto parts.

May not cause your main problem but at least one will be solved.

Ask it if fishing net patterns should be left on it's brain with a branding iron before breakfast

That should distract it for a bit.

Who cares?!? Just take him to the blackjack tables in Vegas and make a fortune, ala Rainman!

It will be tough. Start with getting the bi-polar chinchilla on your side. The monkey respects his opinion.

good question, i'm in a similar boat only my brain dead hyena-zebu mix thinks i'm a robot made from an AMC Gremlin

just tell him that you ARE a Plymouth Duster.

But how do we know you're not? We're gonna need to see pictures. Preferably sans trousers.

Take off the costume.